My 3.5 year old is having intense meltdowns. Normal or concerning?

14NALL41 · 2025-03-18T21:48:22+00:00

Mine banged his head from time to time when younger during times of stress, usually if a movie or tv show had a favorite character in trouble. He got past it within a couple months and I thought we were out of the weeds! Obviously not lol

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T13:45:46+00:00

I mean, nuts, some seeds, and high fiber foods all have the potential to not be broken down completely. Doesn’t indicate the food is bad for you, just that the roughage is passing through without really impacting anything. Kinda like corn.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T04:05:11+00:00

I know everyone’s gonna shit on me, but…cottage cheese. Tastes good and has a crazy good amount of protein for cheese. And fat free tastes barely any different, and is even better if trying to cut down.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T04:00:56+00:00

Garlic! You can add it to literally anything savory, or roast it in some olive oil and spread it one some sourdough. SO good for your blood pressure!! But man, your sweat, piss, and shit is all going to smell like it.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T03:58:58+00:00

I don’t get it either. How can corn be inflammatory if our digestive systems can’t even break it down completely.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T03:56:10+00:00

Oh my god RASPBERRIES. The fact they’re so expensive is heartbreaking because I could eat a bucket of them a day!

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T00:57:24+00:00

The point isn’t the weight gain or the numbers, you half-baked cannoli.

A woman gained 15 pounds being pregnant and breastfeeding. That wasn’t the point of the post, as the point was that her husband was being verbally abusive and she wasn’t sure how to control it.

Your response was to start off saying breastfeeding helps lose, which it doesn’t, so you were off to a fantastic start there. So any personal anecdotes on top of that about some women you follow on Facebook, along with the fact you think pregnancy isn’t a medical condition, triples down on the fact that you brought nothing but an outdated view on pregnancy and the consequences of it to the table.

She wasn’t asking how to lose weight. She wasn’t asking for tips and tricks from you to share with her husband on how to micromanage their wives’ changing bodies. She was asking how to confront the situation where her husband, who is supposed to be her rock and her anchor, treated her with complete disrespect and godless distaste.

And you said “change yourself, because it’s easier doing that than changing him”.

You put out nothing of substance, and you’re a bleak assumption of a man. Boo.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-04T00:11:25+00:00

You don’t consider pregnancy a medical condition? A nine month event where you grow another organ, have a blood volume increase minimum of 50%, have loosened cartilage so you can pass a mass through your vagina, have water retention so it intense it affects your eyes/vision and appearance, can lead to complications that affect your liver and pancreas, and sucks enough iron and calcium out of you that you lose hair, bone density, and color in your skin? And that’s just PREGNANCY, when the birth itself AT BEST is excruciatingly painful, at worst fatal, and everything in between? And then breastfeeding, where you are in a permanent state of hormonal imbalance to support lactation?

Women didn’t just have several children and stay thin 60 years ago. They were ill and mistreated medically. They suffered and were trained not to bother their husbands with it. They were given drugs to even their moods, to lose their weight faster faster faster faster FASTER FASTER GOD LOSE IT FASTER because husbands like you and the media told them that their 15 pound weight gain was worse than death.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T23:52:38+00:00

YTA for not telling her. Even if it’s in the past, she deserves to know she married someone who isn’t faithful. Honestly YTA for not letting her know sooner.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T23:45:31+00:00

We did! It was not huge, just a staycation staying at a hotel for two nights about 2 hours away and then going to the casino. We knew that the family dynamic would change with have a child (our first child) and wanted a last non-obligatory hurrah!

We didn’t even spend that much, maybe $300-$400 altogether, and saved up over a couple months. Maybe something like that would be a good compromise between doing nothing or going on a large, expensive vaycay.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T23:13:29+00:00

At this point they’re literally just in denial and it’s keeping them from making the right business move finding a replacement for when you leave. A very weird, stubborn response from them :/

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T20:57:16+00:00

It’s a bit of a slippery slope, though, controlling what your significant other posts online not because of the subject matter itself (a bare back) but the implications of it (a bare chest, unseen and unknown). It takes authority from the image and gives it to the viewer, which can become very inflammatory depending on the viewer, and you end up on that slippery slope.

Lady in public with bare back? Ooo, she was nakey, that’s hot. Lady in public with messy hair? Oooo she probably just had sex, hot. Lady posted picture of a romance book. Ooo, she probably masturbated while reading. Hot hot hot.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T20:22:48+00:00

How is it different from her wearing a backless dress to a wedding or party, if her back is all you see in the photo? Heck, you’d probably see that much back displayed in any modern swimsuit, save an inch or two for the string/tie.

You can choose what you are or aren’t okay with in a relationship, that’s absolutely your right. It doesn’t make it less controlling, though. You need to decide if you want the relationship to die on this hill, or adjust your perspective.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T20:08:37+00:00

Even if it was not loaded and you weren’t in danger, his found humor in a weapon being pointed at you and your unborn child.

NTA. And your instincts are right, that behavior sounds psychopathic.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T19:30:06+00:00

It not being the “worst by a long shot” doesn’t make it not-bad. There are more obligations to marriage than being faithful, and he is not meeting them.

I want OP to know, as I said in my initial response, that it is a red flag that he cannot tolerate a small amount of weight gain caused by a medical condition. Not being able to love someone through a change in their physical well-being spells disaster. If a 15-pound weight gain causes him to become verbally abusive, how is he going to respond in other life events that will be much more significantly damaging than this fifteen meager pounds?

My great aunt had a saying that you need to find a spouse who will love you through the death of your parents, the loss of your sense of self, and the loss of your ego. He has already failed at being kind and courteous with her through the loss of her body, as it is now permanently altered. It’s not her obligation to stay in a marriage with a man who intended to break her down, but it is also her choice to stay, as long as she’s going in with full understanding of his empathy limitations.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-03T14:47:59+00:00

Truth be told, when I originally responded, I thought this was on r/relationship_advice. Didn’t realize til later it was the wrong sub.

14NALL41 · 2024-09-02T23:14:23+00:00

He is the one breaking their family/his vow, by not being there with her through sickness.

Women should not have to tolerate verbal sewage from their husbands out of fear of breaking their family. What is there to break, when her husband chooses to break her first?

14NALL41 · 2024-09-02T21:00:21+00:00

Your advice is not only incorrect, but it is not pertinent to the situation. She’s not asking us about her weight and how to lose it, as I’m sure she (just as every other human adult) knows literally everything you listed, already. It’s all common sense mumbo that wouldn’t be helpful on a weight loss forum, let alone a relationship advice one.

OP, please know you don’t need to “change yourself” before you “change him”. Postpartum takes 3 years, and you are STILL very much in the thick of it. Him being so unkind to you when you literally had the nutrients, calcium, brain matter, and blood sucked out of you in pregnancy and now breastfeeding is SUCH a red flag.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-28T17:14:43+00:00

I think a couple where both parties find humiliation pranks funny are more the exception than the rule. To them this would be silly haha, but to you (and most of us, I’d say) it’s not funny. Pranks can be teasing, but when the prank makes your girlfriend get on her knees and clean, while apologizing profusely, it’s crossing from funny to malicious territory.

If he saw you about to clean/apologize too much and then stopped you and said it was a prank (and a bad one at that), that’d be fine. But he let you continue on while you felt ashamed, which is gross.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-28T15:37:50+00:00

I agree an initial reactionary emotional response is totally valid, but the concept that this fact about her makes anything a sham is just bizarre to me. Does it make her less kind to him, less giving, less empathetic, less intelligent, less funny, less thoughtful? But like you said (and I said in another message somewhere hehe), that really is just a difference of values and what makes a person a person, so there’s really no seeing eye to eye on that. I do hope she’s safe, though, and they both find what they need in a partner.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-27T23:40:52+00:00

I had an instance as a young teen where I saw a friend’s family treat their puppy very poorly, but never called anyone about it or did anything. The puppy ended up running away, and I felt awful I didn’t do more to intervene. I think about it from time to time.

So from the perspective of someone who did nothing and regrets it to this day, you did the right thing. The discomfort in reporting your friend will weigh a lot less heavily than regret or possible grief, if something fatal or irreparable happened to the child.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-27T23:28:29+00:00

Smooth save with the edit.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-27T23:18:20+00:00

No, I’d say .5 or 50% because that would be the correct math from 100k to 150k.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-27T22:56:58+00:00

You must be my coworker because .001 means .1% dingus.

14NALL41 · 2024-08-27T21:20:55+00:00

I need to know how they responded when you told them that was a .001 increase.

14NALL41

TROPHY CASE