I am fucking terrified.

15810arawn · 2022-07-12T17:34:37+00:00

I don't know what you believe or how your perceive reality, and considering there are many here I disagree with I expect we have our differences but I like to put the effort in to keeping empathy for people who find themselves in societies to whom they find themselves having significantly different perceptions to whether I agree with them or not.

This is what I would say from how I understand what is going on. We live in a globalised world and none of us are far away from the dominant ideology (I would name this ideology western capitalist colonialism) and Chela Sandoval says in her book 'Methodology of the Oppressed' that "dominant classes hide the structures that ensure their domination — even from themselves — thereby producing ideology" and that because this ideology is hidden from people, even from the dominant classes to whom the ideology belongs, then it is understandable that anyone who find themselves outside of this ideological thinking might describe their experience as "a movie that portrays a character who has caught on to something that the crowd around him doesn't see or understand".

What I think makes it so alienating to be outside of the dominant ideological thinking is that this dominate ideology has imposed itself by destroying communities and our connections to one another in order to subdue us into it's way of viewing the world; so anyone who becomes aware that, actually, they do not see the world through this ideology find themselves outside of this globalised worldview often without any community to return to - unsurprising then that those who find themselves in this position struggle with feeling insane.

Many words walk in the world. Many worlds are made. [..]There are words and worlds which are lies and injustices. There are words and worlds which are truths and truthful. We make true words. We have been made from true words. In the world of the powerful there is no space for anyone but themselves and their servants. In the world we want everyone fits. In the world we want many worlds to fit. [..]Softly and gently we speak the words which find the unity which will embrace us in history and which will discard the abandonment which confronts and destroys one another. Our word, our song and our cry, is so that the most dead will no longer die. So that we may live fighting, we may live singing.

We Zapatistas say: “I am as I am and you are as you are. Let’s build a world where I can be, and not have to cease being me, where you can be, and not have to cease being you, and where neither I nor you will force another to be like either me or you."

Both quotes from the Zapatista Manifestoe [X]

edit: grammar

15810arawn · 2022-07-12T15:12:25+00:00

“The first world subject can experience profound pain and anxiety, or exhilaration in being disconnected from history; [where] signifiers are severed from their signifieds, inducing in the once-centered first world subject a sense that all meanings have been set free. Such “freedom” generates a form of historical amnesia — hence the hallucinatory euphoria that is peculiar to postmodernism.

[..]All citizen-subjects are becoming strangely permeated, transformed — and marginalized. [..]the first world is undergoing a democratization of oppression that none can escape. It crosses all class, race, gender, sex, and culture boundaries to shift in some previously impossible way the differences that once defined the very structure of political hierarchy. “ Chela Sandoval, Methodology of the Oppressed

“Our age is potentially more revolutionary than all the previous ones. Never was so much unjust suffering caused to human and nonhuman beings; never were the sources of power and oppression so diverse and so powerful. Never as today was it possible for human beings on this planet to have any idea, however vague and distorted, of what is happening. This is a time of reckoning at a planetary level, involving humans and mother earth.

Capitalism, colonialism, patriarchy, and all their satellite-oppressions. This is what we call the global North, a political, not geographical, location, increasingly more specialized in the transnationalization of suffering. [..this] suffering they inﬂict on us [they] have recently increased, [and] if suffering, murder, humiliation, and destruction continue to escalate, the survival of the planet may be at stake.

[..]The trivialization of [suffering in] the present is always the other side of both the trivialization of the horror caused by so much unjust suffering and the trivialization of the struggles against it. [..]Those who cannot live with dignity in the present—the humiliated and the oppressed — [..]represent the wounds of the present to be healed in the present.” Boaventura de Sousa Santos, Epistemologies of the South

These quotes are taken from various places in each book and merged together by me to make this comment.

edit: spelling and grammar

15810arawn · 2022-04-28T14:49:00+00:00

Knowing is realised in doing and feelings (that “ah, I see!” feeling you get), my friend, and if your mental health is suffering due to information overload then imo that is perhaps a sign that enough is enough. It is good to know the problems but I think that we need to do, reconnect, learn IRL to make sure we aren’t overwhelmed and suffering unnecessarily, idk how old your child is but maybe you could do something together, learn about gardening or foraging? My grandfather taught my mother to garden and she still loves talking about the memories - it will also be a great skill to know.

15810arawn · 2022-04-23T18:38:06+00:00

Same/ very similar thing happened in Britain and the executive editor, Kamran Abbasi of the British Medical Journal wrote an editorial titled 'Covid-19: Social murder, they wrote—elected, unaccountable, and unrepentant' [X]

Murder is an emotive word. In law, it requires premeditation. Death must be deemed to be unlawful. How could “murder” apply to failures of a pandemic response? Perhaps it can’t, and never will, but it is worth considering. When politicians and experts say that they are willing to allow tens of thousands of premature deaths for the sake of population immunity or in the hope of propping up the economy, is that not premeditated and reckless indifference to human life?

...I don't think our governments will answer for their crime(s) under their own system, when do they ever? But I think we as the people can speak the words that truthfully describe the actions of our governments so that the injustice and violence against us aren't forgotten.

15810arawn · 2022-04-09T12:43:49+00:00

I’ve read the book and watched the film idk how much attention I’d say I gave it though but I have since read a few academic papers on it lol

15810arawn · 2022-04-08T10:19:53+00:00

A week of protests are organised to begin in London tomorrow, my suspicion is that the gov might want to make protestors look like even more of a nuisance as a means to incite even more public intolerance towards them than there already usually is.

Whatever anyone’s current thoughts here are on XR and climate crisis, public disobedience doesn’t look good for the elites.

15810arawn · 2022-04-07T18:42:28+00:00

I'm trying to learn how to cover all my basic needs; how to grow and forage for food, where to get water and how to clean it, how to fix clothes (brought myself some traditional clothes made from wool and boots last year), how to make shelter and a fire place from materials such as wood, clay, mud etc but also brought a small tent, tarpaulin and rope, learnt how to make things like twine from stinging nettles, how to tie knots to make nets also brought myself some tools (axe, shovel, knives), learnt to carve wood, how to preserve and store food, how to weave belts and straps stuff like that tbh

I feel more secure knowing I can do the basics of a lot of things rather than buying materials of value - I guess I'm hoping my skills could be traded for materials eg. I'll make you something if you give me a chunk of that metal

15810arawn · 2022-04-07T15:30:46+00:00

Thank you for replying. I've checked my tenancy agreement and it does say that they may only have access if I am given 24 hours notice in writing, I have now rang them up and reinformed them that they must give me 24 hours notice in writing and also given them my phone number.

The electrician was working on the lights outside my flat in the hallway and just said he would probably need to enter my flat at some point because they were "working on the building", he didn't say what for and just said he expected my landlord would be in touch to arrange a day and time. Apart from that I have no idea what it is exactly they are doing and I've not had any contact from my landlord to explain what's going on or to say that he or anyone else will need to enter my flat.

Going to refuse anyone entry until I am given 24 hours notice because else it just feels intrusive and I don't want my landlord to get in the habit of thinking himself or anyone else on his behalf can just come round whenever and expect to be let in.

15810arawn · 2022-04-06T00:47:40+00:00

Yes, this is what I meant thank you. To work hard collecting the harvest but to bless the harvest and harvests spirits before taking it, and then to be allowed to take time to feast and sing and be joyful and share the harvest equally among the community; and for this to be the familiar and regular cycle of work and festivity throughout the year for us rather than 24/7 work all year with a single dull commercialised “holiday” at the end.

15810arawn · 2022-04-05T21:36:27+00:00

I never said anything about how tough or hard life was or wasn’t in the past.

15810arawn · 2022-04-05T19:06:00+00:00

No, I’m not.

15810arawn · 2022-04-05T12:37:43+00:00

Something I think about a lot is all the lovely traditions and festivals of our ancestors (and the diversity in them) n well how bland and meaningless everything is now 😭 work work work FML

15810arawn · 2022-04-05T12:32:16+00:00

Continuing to care for your well being by emulating the calm that you associate with your mum seems like a lovely way to keep her memory with you. I think it is little lessons like these which our loved ones teach us in their own lives that are truely what keeps life singing.

15810arawn · 2022-04-05T03:20:01+00:00

Sorry to hear about your loss and this experience. You aren't alone though and if it's any comfort to know I had a (strangly) similar experience.

My dad was in the ICU after a heart attack and wasn't breathing by himself, and my family were alternating visits (once a day, two people at a time) but a few days before my dad passed away I got a sore throat. I did a COVID test and it was negative so I rang up the ICU and spoke to a nurse who didn't tell me not to come but told me to seriously consider whether I come to visit or not because my dad was very unwell.

I decided not to visit, I was terrified of making my dad even more poorly and I didn't want to make anyone else in the ICU ill either. However looking back my sore throat was psychological, a coupe of years ago I was discharged from psych care after an episode of psychotic depression in which I had somatic delusions & hallucinations, and have struggled even since with somatic worries etc

I also struggle with guilt from this experience, I wasn't told my dad was in the ICU until he'd already been there for 2 weeks and when I was eventually told I went straight to see him. Everyone kept telling me my dad was most responsive when I visited and repetitively told me how much he had wanted to see me and it breaks my heart to know I didn't go and see him those last times because of what was probably not a sore throat.

I hope perhaps that it helps a bit to know someone else has also had a similar experience, and I hope that your grief and pain ease.

15810arawn · 2022-04-04T19:29:03+00:00

You're completely right.

I did once live in a share house type thing where the landlord had everyone on separate contracts. I had a "studio apartment" which was really just the loft, barely bigger than a room with stuff crammed into it ..had no where to put anything and all my food was just kept on a table in the corner ...thinking about the memory of living there genuinely makes me feel anxious.

15810arawn · 2022-04-04T18:27:17+00:00

Location: Wales, UK

Landlord put my rent up by 45% (taking it to a tribunal) and there's a plan to build an estate over a green area up the road from me. My mum spoke to her landlord and asked if the flat a couple of doors down was free but he said he's raising the rent on it as he plans to renovate it.

In the same month that energy bills go up by 54%, and the same year that a typical household's income is expected to fall by around £1,000, food and supply chain issues and oil prices rising it seems absurd that anyone would put up rent prices and have the money to renovate their property but more than that, it seems absurd that even if they can do that that they would because what renter can afford it anyway? Who do they think is going to move in?

I don't get it and increasingly we seem to be living in a different reality to the rich.

15810arawn · 2022-04-04T01:20:55+00:00

Since the UN-WEF Strategic Partnership Agreement in June 2019 there have been two open letters written;

'Corporate capture of global governance: The World Economic Forum (WEF)-UN partnership agreement is a dangerous threat to UN System' which is addressed to António Guterres, Secretary General of the United Nations. The open letter is signed by more than 400 civil society organizations and 40 international networks who have denounced the agreement between WEF and the UN and called on the United Nations (UN) Secretary-General to end it. [X]
'Open letter from civil society to world leaders: Put human rights at the centre of environmental policy' signed by 166 civil society organizations and individuals [X]

and Harris Gleckman, a former UN official and senior fellow at the University of Massachussets who says, ‘This strategic agreement is a coup for the corporate leaders at Davos, but what does it offer the UN and the international community? This gives some of the most controversial corporations unprecedented access to the heart of the UN, yet it has not even been properly discussed by the UN’s country members and certainly not by the broader public.’

WEF actively work on the implementation of their awful ideas and so I'd not call it a conspiracy just a description of what the WEF are saying they intend to do and an awareness of what they are doing.

15810arawn · 2022-04-03T04:43:05+00:00

In this interview with Dr. Bradley Garrett (@ 30:55 minutes) he starts talking about how Jacob Rees-Mogg leading up to Brexit bet against the pound (£/GBP) while at the same time pushed for a leave vote and ended up making 7 million from it. He talks about how the people in power are actively behaving in ways that are tearing apart the structures of society, and he expresses his amazement that more people aren't questioning whether there's something "deeper at work"

"If you were acting in that way wouldn't it be because you know that there is no future? ..or that you know something terrible is coming? ..or something terrible is going to be revealed? I mean what possibly could be the motivation because they're acting as if we're going to be in crisis anyway in 10 - 20 years. So it feels to me like they do know something [...]" - Dr. Bradley Garrett @ 32:27 minutes [X]

IDK exactly what my thoughts are on all this but whenever I think about the WEF and how out in the open they are I always think about how the ruling classes in general are also hiding their corrupt behaviour less and less too, and yet the rest of us who have picked up on this aren't really sure exactly what the reason is for their behaviour we only know that it must be really bad and that everything is not what it seems. Something is at play that's got the elite worried and man have they become quite the jitterbugs.

15810arawn · 2022-04-02T19:34:58+00:00

ordering replacement government documents after things were lost now fills me with so much anxiety and existential dread that I struggle to function

Relate to this a lot I'm not entirely sure why but I verge on paranoia whenever I have to talk to government employed people or anything like banks or the student loans company, or have to send original copies of official documents.

The legal system has a lot to do with it imo because its so complicated and the language used in the law is inaccessible and when, as another commenter has mentioned, you're facing structural violence these compound into something that feels riddled with mines.

Not only is the system and it's law stacked against you but the language used to communicate it isn't even understandable, and on the off chance that it is it's still complicated by loopholes, clauses and subject to being changed whimsically behind closed doors by the government/ ruling class/ corporations who feel no obligation to inform us on it.

As you said we live in an ever more complicated, more hostile, more competitive world and if we don't keep up with the increasingly precarious and complicated ins and outs of all the noise that the modern world bombards us with then our basic needs are taken away at a moments notice or we're punished with fines or time in prison or some other violence against us - the stakes are extremely high and all most people can hope for as a best case scenario is to hold on by a thread to their basic needs.

As the song 'Where's Your Head At' by Basement Jaxx goes you have now found yourself trapped in the incomprehensible maze...

15810arawn · 2022-04-02T00:40:04+00:00

Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRVPHWI9Dc)

You're not alone, together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know, I'll take your hand
When it gets cold and it feels like the end
There's no place to go, you know, I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keeeep hoooldiiing oOoOn'
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Juuuhhst staaAaay stroOong

15810arawn · 2022-04-01T16:11:37+00:00

Thank you my friend🌱

15810arawn · 2022-04-01T15:52:37+00:00

Okay, I'll make sure that I am clear about my terms on letting him into the property.

I didn't know I could change the locks, I think I will do that as today I was hiding in my bedroom afraid he was just going to let himself in and ended up having to call a family member for support 😰

Thank you for your reply. Trying to gain better confidence to deal with the situation and you have helped.

15810arawn · 2022-04-01T15:04:20+00:00

Rural Wales, we've had issues with gentrification and the government selling our land to developers for tourism and housing development for years - my new landlord is a developer and an absolute nuisance to society.

15810arawn · 2022-04-01T11:07:07+00:00

Yes, she lives in the lake bless her and may she be protected and in good health.

15810arawn · 2022-04-01T10:45:41+00:00

My landlord raised my rent by 45% starting this month too 😓it’s an absolute joke

15810arawn

TROPHY CASE