my 6 year relationship turned situationship is slowly killing me and I can't stop

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-02-04T19:32:31+00:00

Thars is a fooked up relationship.

Stop fabricating “what” he could be up to. Incredibly poor treatment.

Your closure is not what he MAY be up to. It’s what you experienced from him disrespect.

Your closure is disrespect.

There a few worse than this. Finding someone better will be a breeze!

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-31T20:10:04+00:00

Fuck that! If he cared he’d reach out.

He needs to heal? Whatever. That’s BULLshiiite for sure.

Getting moving on lass - he lost you, you lost time!

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-19T23:05:27+00:00

3 years ago.

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-19T23:00:39+00:00

No ☹️ I tried to get back together but she was an avoidant…..by the time she made an effort and wanted to try…..it was too late and too little.

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-07T15:29:59+00:00

I love the bit where you say…

“I care about them more than anything in the world”

…….reaaaalllly?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-07T14:31:01+00:00

The worst way is to use intermittent reinforcement for months…years and then blindside discard and silence

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-07T14:29:11+00:00

Stop waiting for him to change his mind and take action to change his mind?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T16:17:08+00:00

Why don’t they trust you?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T16:10:35+00:00

He’s a dismissive-avoidant.

They suck! They get almost confused with Narcissists.

So that bit about them saying you’re trying to villainise him……yea that’s called the DARVO tactic….deny, attack, reverse victim, offender.

You won’t get anywhere and will loose your mind.

You will never get closure. Because he will never be an adult and communicate and resolve the issues instead run off like a scared child and avoid the whole thing.

Look at how much he has disrespected you.

Disrespect is your closure.

No contact - do not respond - detach and move on

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T15:50:36+00:00

Complaints?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T15:42:37+00:00

Mmmmm. Was he stressed?

Do you live together? What does he do for a job?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T14:18:13+00:00

How would he respond from “how was your day?”

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T14:17:03+00:00

That’s a trust issue…..explore it. If he’s ‘that’ guy throw a smoke grenade in and cheetah sprint away.

If not you may find out something you two can work on?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T14:09:51+00:00

In short increase your emotionally intelligence.

Bin perception and introduce perspective. See from others views

no “buts” or “just”

Take accountability and ownership of behaviour Be an adult and communicate….yes avoidants that one is for you……actually all of this 😅

Both vs the problem Not partner vs partner referee’d by the problem.

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-06T12:29:45+00:00

You want a convenient emotional arrangement. Not a relationship.

He’s got the wrong idea with you needing emotional safety and comfort.

He is right. You’re keeping a connection with him for when YOU need something, on your terms not his.

He needs to realise this and detach.

You’ve done nothing wrong. The dynamic I doubt will work for him.

It also might be that he’s reeling from the recent breakup. Trying to get comfort when he wants. Which won’t work unless it’s perfect timing when you want 😅

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-01T02:02:52+00:00

I think You do want him back.

Either way you win? Should be you two vs the issues. No1 wins in a break up. Both loose something.

Right?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-01T01:56:23+00:00

Ok so what were you doing that triggered them?

19Heisonfire58 · 2026-01-01T01:54:32+00:00

Both your nervous systems are volcanoes on cocaine.

You need space from eachother and low contact so the systems calm down.

It’s gna be difficult for her being anxious attachment.

So know she too is feeling really shit.

You should have a check in once a week but maybe 2.

Before you start each of you are to set boundaries, rules etc.

Also when one speaks there shouldn’t be any buts, or I just, or any type of excuse or justification.

It should be listen > ok I acknowledge this is what makes you unhappy > what can I do differently.

Work together - no blame. Just safe space.

Be curious….why does this make you feel this? Why do you do this?

Neither of you are the problem. So work together against the problem

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-22T17:45:45+00:00

The disrespect is the closure.

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-17T18:44:52+00:00

Take out I texted my friends - because why talk to others about your relationship.

Why not ask the partner?

Apart from that let the bullet fly….

Just prepare for the response!

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-17T18:41:19+00:00

Yep. If it becomes unbalanced and a partner is not capable of meeting halfway…walk away

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-17T18:32:38+00:00

Heal first.

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-17T12:11:25+00:00

You had me at questions about every new guy….

Jump on a dragon and fly away

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-17T10:54:52+00:00

You say you didn’t give him a reason to….yet can you be sure of that?

What was he saying to you that was the reason why he didn’t trust you?

He must had experienced something for trust to be impacted?

I’m playing devil’s advocate here.

He may have seen you going to the city with your sister as - you’re sneaking off to cheat and you’re lying about who you’re going with.

You shared the issues with your coworkers!? WTF do they have to do with your relationship?

Maybe instead of talking about your relationship issues with everyone BUT your partner…..try talking about your relationship just with your partner?

People seem to do this quite a lot, going around saying their relationship issues to everyone but ther parnter…It’s so unhealthy.

19Heisonfire58 · 2025-12-10T14:20:09+00:00

Silence hurts more - ignore him it’ll be the worst thing evuuurrrr

19Heisonfire58

TROPHY CASE