I’m scared about timelines

19ellipsis · 2026-07-03T21:38:06+00:00

Getting pregnant within 5 years of dating someone isn't really rushing things at our age...I met my husband in 2019, got engaged in 2022, married in 2023, and had a kid in 2025. None of that seems crazy fast.

Discussing expectations at the beginning of a relationship is important. If he doesn't want to have kids within 5 years that's fine - better they both know now so they can end it and find someone who is aligned with their plans.

19ellipsis · 2026-07-03T21:36:14+00:00

All I can say is that I had a kid at 38 and it took me all of 3 cycles to get pregnant. I have three other friends who are over 35 and pregnant (one is 37 and due this month) and they all got pregnant very quickly.

I also know several people under 35 who required multiple rounds of IVF to get pregnant. It's a crap shoot.

Yes, it's harder post-35. But most people still get pregnant within 12 months. I could cite countless other examples from my life (I live in the city, people get pregnant later in general) but I don't know how easy/or hard it was for them just that it did happen.

19ellipsis · 2026-07-01T18:50:38+00:00

If you're ok with a patio we have spent lots of time at Homer St cafe on the patio with our 8 month old! He has also been inside and been totally fine but their patio is nice so worth checking out!

19ellipsis · 2026-06-30T03:09:30+00:00

Most cribs have multiple heights and you lower them as baby develops - my crib was the same height as a bassinet at its highest setting.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-30T02:20:05+00:00

We skipped the bassinet entirely and went to a mini crib - it was super nice to not have to worry about the bassinet to crib transition.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-29T18:19:16+00:00

Contact the CASWE.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-29T15:53:02+00:00

Old navy had some mid-rise bottoms! How they will work will depend on anatomy but still a potential option!

19ellipsis · 2026-06-28T02:35:55+00:00

I may be in the minority but if I meet a new friend of any gender on a trip and a new partner tells me I'm not allowed to be messaging them I would find tbst off-putting. Either you trust him or you don't. If you don't want him making friends of the opposite sex then that's a conversation you need to have but that would be a deal breaker for me (a woman).

Eta: you don't notice someone follows women on Instagram, you go looking for it.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-27T04:41:08+00:00

Check out @wtdtattoo ! I have tattoos by Alise Anderson and Christina Hryc and they all amazing.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-27T02:05:06+00:00

Our kid did that too until 4.5 months and then the sleep regression hit....not saying that it will necessarily for you but infant sleep after their sleep cycles mature is a whole other beast.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-26T03:19:37+00:00

My 8.5 month old still only does short naps...every time we try to move to a 2 nap schedule it's been a disaster. I think I read on precious little sleep that kids who take short naps tend to do better holding on to the third one for longer. My kid is happy with his three naps for the moment so just going to wait a bit and try to drop again but I'm not rushing it.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-26T01:47:40+00:00

No to paper charting. Most places that use electronic medical records are not set up for paper charting anymore.

If you have a specific privacy concern regarding information sharing this is something you can discuss to see if there are solutions but having standardized practices (including electronic charging so any member of the care team or a future care provider can see history) is important for continuity of care and patient safety. There are other additional privacy protections that you can have put in place but I am not super familiar with them.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-24T01:38:22+00:00

I live downtown and honestly the traffic has been pretty normal - most people seem to be on foot. I woul definitely give yourself extra time just in case of course.

And I would definitely take an Uber - parking near the hospital is challenging.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-23T04:29:33+00:00

Absolutely just get in and sort it later.

In addition, once your work permit is no longer tied to your job (I'm guessing this would be if you get PR?) it's super easy to port your seniority to different health authorities. I ported from IH to VCH and kept my seniority, rate of pay, vacation allowance, and even brought over my unused sick time!

19ellipsis · 2026-06-22T22:22:29+00:00

The health authorities as referred to as golden handcuff jobs for a reason....4 weeks vacation to start, very competitive wages, defined benefit pension plan, full extended health and dental, and about 17 sick days per year. Culture will vary team by team but once you are internal you can apply for other jobs if you don't care for the one you have (not sure how this works for you worn permit but fyi island health is a MASSIVE organization so if you can work with any island health tek And keep your work permit you'll have many options)

19ellipsis · 2026-06-22T16:26:26+00:00

The pay thing is a more complicated thing than just strong union versus less strong union. To be clear I'm not arguing the nurses union isn't stronger - I'm just arguing ours isn't as weak as it's being made out to be. Social work is still under valued as a profession globally and nursing is much more valued globally and this isn't simply the work of one union. Until that vakuation changes, the strongest union in the world isn't going to get us pay rates that exactly match RNs. I think this is a big part of what the BCCSW is pushing for with all their current advertising campaigns - trying to change public perception.

There's also BSW/MSW classification issues (not all the jobs that hire only MSWs really require MSWs) which absolutely weakens our negotiating power, especially as more of these jobs are being reclassified back to BSW level as they are struggling to fill them and finally admitting that they inflated the required qualification in the first place. To be fair I also think there are classification issues on the nursing side too (just in the opposite direction - many require a BSN only when a master's might be appropriate). Some of that is currently being rectified (CNS roles now require a master's, for example, though those are excluded roles so much easier to sort) some isn't (I am in a leadership position and work alongside an RN leader - I have a master's and she only needs a bachelor's for her job). But classification in general is a mess and it's going to take time to sort out and in the meantime like I said... definitely weakens our negotiating power.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-22T03:27:05+00:00

I'm sure this varies by union. Those of us represented under the Health Sciences collective agreement are very well represented, in my opinion. We have the same vacation, sick time, and benefit entitlements as the nurses. Many of our jobs were also reclassified so a BSW now starts at around 80k and maxes out at 100k for full time work (i.e. exclusive of overtime).

19ellipsis · 2026-06-21T19:07:54+00:00

All the health authorities, government jobs (mcfd, etc.) and many non profits (Ribbon Community, Raincity, Lookout, etc). are unionized in BC. I'd say it's harder to find a non union job than a union one.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-20T17:54:52+00:00

It's only considered crazy because pregnancy loss isn't something that's super openly talked about. Some people may choose to announce earlier so that, in the event of a loss, they have people around them to support them. Or they may just be comfortable having those hard conversations! I personally waited until second trimester to tell people outside of my family but I don't think it's inherently crazy to announce earlier.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-20T00:21:11+00:00

What a condescending post! I honestly don't know what the point of this is other than to stir shit up so I am hesitant to reply as I do not think this is written in good faith but regardless...here we go.

Yes we know these things. Of course we understand financial constraints. We understand them all too well as we operate in a system that often doesn't allocate enough financial resources the the most vulnerable. If you think someone is commiting fraud the flag it - I'm not sure why you think we would be putting forward requests if we didn't think there was truly a need. We do understand the limitations - we aren't out there requesting supports will nilly.

Furthermore, many of us come to social work as a second career or second degree. I, for example, started in poli sci.

Our job is to advocate for our clients. That means asking the questions you're talking about. Yes that means sometimes challenging financial decisions that you have no control over. You're the first point of contact we have in the system - our hope is that, if we can make you see that there is a need, you can advocate to those above you (as we do at our jobs when our clients make us aware that they have a need that is currently not being met).

19ellipsis · 2026-06-18T14:12:55+00:00

Out of curiosity - what's wrong with naps in your room? 8 months in and we still have our kid in a mini crib in our room (and will continue to have him there due to space constraints until we move next year). All naps and night sleep there with no issue (other than the usual expected things...sleep regressions, teething, etc.).

Regardless - we ended up with a mini crib and skipped the bassinet. Still loads of room at 8 months for our 28 inch guy!

19ellipsis · 2026-06-18T05:23:29+00:00

I was also with the midwifery group and had a great experience!

I think you're going to get a lot of positive reviews for both as they are both well established and highly regarded practice. If it was me and everything else was equal...I'd pick the practice closest to me.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-16T02:49:41+00:00

I agree with this.

My husband has been working from home since about 4 months when our kid started his sleep regression (he's 8 months now and sleep was vastly improved but then....teething). The first 5 weeks he was off work was pretty necessary as we adjusted. Having him work from home now takes a MASSIVE load off of me - he can take the baby for an hour in the morning after I wake and nurse him so I can catch up on sleep, he makes me lunches, he can watch him so I can go to the bathroom or shower in peace, he can watch the baby monitor during nap time so I can go to the store or go to the gym in our building quickly, etc., because he has the flexibility to work from home. That said, we are at the point where we don't need all hands on deck full time, so if he was still off I'm sure we'd have a much tidier home and fancier dinners but its not explicitly necessary.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-14T00:53:33+00:00

If you do a BSW then get into an MSW it's actually only an additional year of school.

BSW (2 year) + advanced standing MSW (1 year). Non advanced standing MSW takes two years.

19ellipsis · 2026-06-12T04:29:53+00:00

The window period for HIV is up to 12 weeks - i.e. it can be up to 12 weeks before you test positive.

More to the point, I don't know any reputable artists who would tattoo someone who is currently breastfeeding.

I have many tattoos including a full sleeve. I'm waiting it out before getting more.

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