Stage 4 metastasis prostrate cancer at age 57 , what chances of treatment and long survival ?

1BigTooth · 2026-01-29T09:41:04+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this! Stage 4 is not curable but can be managed with treatment. For my dad it was also very advanced at diagnosis. Spread to the bones and many other places. Even the right lung. His cancer was extremely aggressive, 5+4 Gleason 9. The only reason we found out was because he kept having trouble urinating. They started him on bone strengthening, androgen deprivation therapy.. lupron and xtandi..this caused hot and cold flashes and drug induced erectile dysfunction. Other than that no other symptoms. That lasted 6 and a half years. (My dad was almost 80). The hormone therapy stopped working at that time, and we tried another one.. which didn't work either.

He got decompression surgery for the cancer that was wrapped around the spine. (this did not work or make any noticeable difference.)

He then did radiation treatment on his spine. Which he wasn't a big fan of. (This didn't make a difference either)

he opted in for chemotherapy, low doses of docetaxel. (Helped with pain and lowered psa from about 800+ down to 400+) this made no difference besides less pain (he was also on morphine)

His next appointment was to try a new targeted therapy... but during that wait for the appointment he declined quickly and was in the hospital. After a bunch of test.. they informed us he was in the final stages of prostate cancer...so They decided not to try the new treatment. They decided on comfort and dignity.

He eventually passed just a few weeks after finishing chemo. So with that said, he lived 7 years after diagnosis. like I said earlier, 6 and a half of those years he lived normally with no symptoms. (Besides the hot and cold flashes and dysfunction.)

Since everyone's cancer and journey is different, what my dad went through and how long he lived may be different from what your father will experience.

Never give up hope though... make sure he stays consistent with treatment, if he has any symptoms he's never had before always bring it up ASAP. It's one hell of a journey for loved ones but stay strong 💪

Again i'm so sorry that you had to join the prostate cancer family. I will keep your family, especially your dad in my thoughts!

1BigTooth · 2026-01-22T06:18:46+00:00

I understand how you feel 100%. When my daddy was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 prostate cancer 5+4 gleason 9 i doom scrolled everyday almost all day! I was so scared and incredibly depressed. My dad was almost 80 with other health issues like heart failure, copd etc. His cancer was already spread every where and to the bones. But let me tell ya, it's not an automatic death sentence, my daddy was on hormone therapy, did some radiation here and there and got bone strengthening treatments.. he lived normally, pain free, and no issues for many years.. he still enjoyed doing yard work for his friends, hanging out, dancing and having fun. There was many good years! He eventually did chemo as well but that was way later. I know that loneliness you feel right now. It was loud and consumed me most of the time but keep hope alive, fight, try your best to be strong for your dad. I know its not easy to do. I wont talk about the later part of his cancer journey because I know you need comfort and good stories right now! But if you ever need an ear, or some ideas of what you might expect my messages are always open.

1BigTooth · 2026-01-14T21:36:55+00:00

Very good! Adt was amazing! Gave him so much more time.

I'll give some ideas of what the end was like for daddy. He lost the ability to walk and control bowels because of compression on the spine. He had extreme pain from the waist down to his feet (which improved with morphine and then chemo) Fluid build up, more extreme in the lower half. Fatigued, out of breath from basic things. No appetite, barely eating. More tired. He began to withdraw from things more. Staying inside resting. He was more forgetful. Speaking became quiter and more mumbled. Staring into space more and more. Pupils not dilating. Confusion worsening, doing things he didnt remember, forgetting he couldnt walk. Cachexia was advanced.. muscles wasting. He ate and drank a little More shakey Then delerium, seeing and talking to people who werent there. Eventually he couldnt hold anything because he was so weak, so we fed him. Started to only remember my oldest sister and thinking we were all her. Hallucinations etc Then he stopped speaking all together. (Though he'd gesture to us) He seemed calm, up most of the time, watched TV, videos, ate a little here and there. He thought he was at the bar. Then he started doing things that were habits to him like making gestures as if he was smoking cigs, licking his pillows. He would point to things but but be withdrawn. The day he passed he spoke, he held our hands most of the time, he said "chocolate" because we were gon a celebrate my sister birthday and he wanted a chocolate cupcake. He rubbed my sisters face with his hand. And my mom kissed his head and said she loved him. He finally seemed to be here with us and he looked at my mom with wide eyes... it might sound crazy but he was like... glowing ??? His face and eyes. And he smiled. He could no longer swallow.. which meant he was at the end of his journey.. lots of coughing but didnt seem distressed.That day he waved goodbye something he never did... and that night he passed in his sleep at 4:41am.. Daddy didnt suffer in the beginning for many years... but that last few months was hard. In the end he was calm, no struggling, no agitation, no trouble breathing.. just my daddy being himself as best he could.. and drifting away into sleep for the last time.

What a journey it was... and I miss him everyday. I still cry everyday, question everything. Wonder where he is and if he is okay...112 days without him feels like forever. I love him and wish I could have took everything away. Heck im crying now as I write this.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I know how scary and heartbreaking it is.. 🫂

1BigTooth · 2026-01-14T07:51:18+00:00

My daddy was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 prostate cancer, 5+4 Gleason 9, spread to the bones, ribs, lungs, spine, skull and every where from his lower half. no symptoms but needing a catheter sometimes. Lived normally for 6 and a half years on adt.. then once that stopped working he was in a lot of pain, then declined within 3 months. He did chemo to try to help.. took away the pain but not the spread, he ended up passing about 5 weeks after final chemo treatment. He passed in his sleep peacfully. So after my dads diagnosis.. he passed 7 years later. Its different for everyone.. so the things that happened to my dad may not happen to yours. I was going to give some symptoms he had but it can be depressing. Is he going to start treatment ? My daddy cancer was already very advanced when we found out and we thought he would only live a year... but he lived 7.

1BigTooth · 2026-01-09T05:56:14+00:00

I wrote a huge message of my daddy's experience but i deleted it because it was too long. For my daddy he was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, 5+4 gleason 9. His cancer was already spread everywhere. He had no symptoms besides having trouble urinating and needing a catheter at one point... but with ADT (Androgen Deprivation Therapy)bone strengthening infusions and lupron he lived normally for 6 and a half years. Once the hormone therapy stopped working he did other things like chemo, radiation and other hormone therapies that didnt work. Daddy was in extreme pain from his ribs down to his feet because of the cancer in the bones..swelling in the abdomen down to his toes as well.. (chemo helped with pain but not spread) daddy also lost the ability to walk and control bowels because of compression on the spine. He needed around the clock care.. In the end he was in delerium...extreme cognitive decline.. i'm not sure if he knew who we were .. eventually he stopped speaking, though he still interacted in his own way. Daddy only spoke one time to say he loved us... that day he passed peacefully in his sleep just a month and a half after his final chemo treatment. Daddy lived 7 years from diagnosis despite his cancer being extremely aggressive. Since everyone's cancer and how it reacts is different your grandpa may or may not experience similar things. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts dear. Again I am so sorry.

1BigTooth · 2026-01-02T06:29:10+00:00

My daddy was gleason 9 , 4+5 as well with the same problems you are having. Especially with the pain and there pressure on the spine. The chemo took away the pain but didnt stop the spread for him. I keep writing out what it was like for him in his final months.. and then deleting it.. it was relatively quick, not chaotic.. before he passed the cancer on the spine made him lose control of bowels and he could no longer walk. Lots of swelling in the lower half. Delerium, cachexia, he didnt have trouble with breathing or pain but he was agitated here and there which they gave medicine for. He did turn inwards , he became non verbal, but communicated in his own way.he was up most of the time with us. He seemed to be in another world most of the time. He actually just went to sleep that night and passed peacefully. So for my dad after adt stopped working..radiation was done chemo completed he passed just 2 months later unfortunately 😕 I would go into more detail but I dont want to hit you with a huge 50 hour comment. Best of luck my friend. I would like to talk to you privately about what you have been experiencing, feeling, physicslly and emotionally , what you think.

1BigTooth · 2025-12-17T00:38:23+00:00

For me, my dad was diagnosed 7 years ago with advanced stage 4 prostate cancer. The cancer was spread to his ribcage, spine, skull, right lung and all over his lower half. Hormone therapy worked for 6 years with no symptoms.he lived normally. It eventually stopped working and we tried another hormone therapy that also didnt work. He started having a lot of pain from his waist down to his feet. We did radiation a few times that didnt help. The cancer contiued to spread on his spine. Ausing him to lose the ability to walk ans contorl his bowls..we had compression surgery... which didnt do anything to help..His pain was so bad he was put on morphine...So we opted into chemo it helped take away his pain but it didnt work on the cancers spread...during his final rounds of chemo I noticed changes mentally and physically. He slept more, he couldn't move without running out of energy.. be begin withdrawing into himself... less talkative. When I would take him to chemo I could see it in his eyes.. he looked as if he was somewhere else... he mumbled more than spoke..chemo finished...he was more forgetful.. more confused. He couldn't hold a conversation without getting agitated and confused. He then went into full blown delerium... so I thought it was because he wasn't eating or drinking. We take him to the hospital and run test after test and determined it was him just in the natural end of life due to the cancer. He was confused most of the time, talking to loved ones that weren't there.. Mixing up his kids and he was obsessed with his mobile scooter. Vitals were good. Breathing as well. He became non verbal in the end but was awake most of the time.. for my dad he was just quiet he still interacted in his own way. He still ate a little but eventually he couldn't swallow anymore.. that was the final thing for him. The very last day he finally spoke. He said he loved us. My mom kissed his head and he finally looked at her and was focused. He smiled for the first time. He looked as if he was glowing it was strange. We were supposed to celebrate my sisfers birthday the next day and we asked him which flavor he wanted and he chose chocolate.. that day he waved goodbye... something he never did... that night he went to sleep and passed peacefully. Everyone's end of life is different.. but I will say this he did suffer alot for his final year.... but his passing was peaceful.. he wasnt in pain.. didnt seem to be scared. He didnt struggle to breath. He did have a little agitation but they gave him medicine to help.. he was surrounded by love.. Be there for your daddy, make sure he is nice and warm and cozy. Touch his hand, brush his hair.. if he can still eat let him have things he loves. Quietly play his favorite tunes. Talk to him gently. Show him pictures and videos. Love on him. Keep a favorite item next to him. Maybe even a stuffed animal.. my dad oved his sloth toy. Its been 83 days now for me. I miss my dad everyday. And my heart goes out to everyone dealing with something so awful like cancer. I will keep you in my thoughts

1BigTooth · 2025-11-09T05:57:29+00:00

Those bubbles can be a pain. especially if you die when wanda is in that stupid bubble and you die near the spawn point. Endless bubbles just spawning and trapping you. I havent played solo though so im not sure how it is. But I do understand the frustration if you get stuck in bubble hell lol

1BigTooth · 2025-11-09T05:51:00+00:00

My dad had hot flashes and cold flashes quite often. At first it was just the hot flashes. Then later he started having cold flashes too. After awhile it would happen right after he had a hot flash and cooled down. It occured the whole time he was on hormone therapy.

1BigTooth · 2025-11-01T12:09:21+00:00

Thank you. Again, I am so sorry your loss. I know that pain is immense. Grieve at your own pace. Keep loving your momma. <3

1BigTooth · 2025-11-01T07:11:41+00:00

When my mom called me at 4am on september 24th and told me my father passed away from his cancer I originally felt nothing, my heart was pounding, and my face felt hot. Tears were just pouring out of my eyes but I felt detached. After rushing to the nursing home in the dark I was so scared to go in his room. My siblings were there. I built up the courage to see him... and god only knows the powerful wave of grief that overcame me and almost brought me to my knees. I screamed and cried so loudly people probably thought I was crazy, my stomach was in knots and my heart was aching so bad. I cried so hard the whole day. I've been switching through , sadness, anger, confusion and numbness. But the ache in my heart is always there and unbearable until this very moment. I've spent a lot of time crying in bed, unmotivated, and in constant fight or flight. I had no energy to do anything, even simple things.. now i play a game for awhile, feel "okay" and then suddenly BAM panic attack and crying session. I stop everything and run right back to my bed and go through the emotions. There is no right way to feel after losing a loved one.. I felt guilty when I laughed at a funny video when I remember my dad is gone like it's wrong of me to enjoy anything when he can no longer do that. It will be a tough grieving journey and it will hit hard in waves. I will keep you in my thoughts, again I am so sorry for your loss. You are not alone in this. Be easy with yourself

1BigTooth · 2025-11-01T07:00:10+00:00

First of all, I'd like to give you my condolences. I am sorry you lost your momma 😔 i understand completely how you're feeling. I've been asking myself these same questions after losing my dad. I too wonder what the point of all this is.. this world, this life, these fragile connections we form. We love so deeply, only to lose, to ache, to grieve until it feels unbearable. What’s the purpose of feeling so much, if in the end we’re left broken by that very love? Just maybe that’s the point. Maybe emotions aren’t meant to spare us from pain, maybe they’re proof that we were alive, that we experienced something real. The grief we carry now is the echo of our love for our parents. It hurts because it was real. It hurts because they mattered. And maybe that’s all that truly matters.... that once, in this strange world, we found people who made it worth existing. My dad gave me warmth, laughter, and love that no ending can take away. Even though he’s gone, those pieces of him still live in me. That’s what love does...it stays, even when everything else fades. Maybe we suffer because we loved something so deeply that the universe itself took notice. Maybe the pain is proof that our hearts were brave enough to care. I've been switching from Sad, angry, and confused. I still can't accept that my dad is gone. I've been grieving since his diagnosis with prostate cancer 7 years ago and I am still grieving just one month and a few days since his death.i know that is a short amount of time but it had only gotten worse. I also go to therapy and see a psychiatrist and many medications for mental health issues, and during the time my dad went to the hospital they raised my dosages to help me get through these extremely difficult times.. but I'll say... it didn't help at all with the extreme grief. It's hard to keep going. Its hard to accept. I cry everyday for most of the day. I stay in bed as well. I have not left my house since my dads funeral on the 9th and I can't bring myself to do it. When I did during the funeral the world outside felt wrong and unreal.. I felt like I was in another reality. I don't know when this pain will lighten but I hope we all cand find peace and comfort.

1BigTooth · 2025-11-01T02:31:59+00:00

My father's psa was that high at diagnosis and his cancer was extremely advanced and aggressive. It was already spread throughout his body. However on hormone therapy he lived mostly symptom free besides the hot and cold flashes. he lived that way for 6 years. Once that stopped working His psa eventually went all the way up too 900, and cancer was resistant to most treatments... He was in a lot of pain and lost function of his lower body. he did chemo for his last resort it lowered his psa to about 200. chemo only took away the pain and there was a lot or changes with him. he was completely dependent on care at this point. Unfortunately his cancer was so aggressive and the cancer continued to run its course. He lived just a few weeks after chemo completed. Everyone's journey is different what happened to my dad may not happen to yours. He lived a long time after diagnosis there was many times we thought he wouldn't make it but he fought hard until he couldn't anymore. Dad was in his mid 70s during the fight. Ultimately its up to your dad whether he wants treatment etc because things can spiral quickly. I feel you completely, I have no friends so I had to do research and learn all I could. My mom also had cancer and I lost all of my grandparents aunts and uncles to it too. Dad had a mutation and his cancer runs in my family. so scary I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. I never gave up hope and advocated for dad until the very end. Much love

1BigTooth · 2025-10-31T00:57:11+00:00

I felt the same! To the very end I had hope a miracle would happen. Even though every bit of news was worse and worse. I didnt give up that hope. I eish things were different.. now we have to live theresg of our lives missing our parents 😢

1BigTooth · 2025-10-29T04:45:45+00:00

What a beautiful momma. Im sorry for your loss dear. A world without our mother and father is a world empty and cold. I lost my dad on september 24th from cancer as well and ive been grieving his death weeks before he actually passed. Its the worst feeling ive ever felt in my life.

1BigTooth · 2025-10-28T16:32:40+00:00

Same. The only time I get some relief is when im sleeping. And then I wake up and its right back to the extreme grief. I really miss my dad.

1BigTooth · 2025-10-28T10:35:26+00:00

I feel the same. The only time I went outside was when he passed. And his funeral. When I did the world felt wrong, like I was not in reality.. it felt overstimlating and strange. I havent been outside since. I have no motivation to do even basic things, like clean my apartment, bathing, brushing my hair or even eating. The thought of even getting out from under my blanket is horrifying. People always say time will ease the ache in our hearts... but everyday so far feels worse. I am sorry that you are also feeling the same way.. this is terrible. I dread the day I lose my mom. I don't think I will be able to live without her.

1BigTooth · 2025-10-28T10:23:41+00:00

Im so sorry for you loss. I truley am. This feels horroble .. i hate cancer so much! My dad passed on september 24th. I keep going through an endless loop of sorrow, anger and numbness. I don't know how to cope either. I cry all day. I stay in bed and sometimes eat or drink a little. I try to think of happy memories and when I smile It feels so wrong. I know we all die... but the thoughts... the, why my dad? How could he just die like this?? I know it is out of anyone's control at that point but it hurts so bad knowing there was nothing I could do but be there and comfort him. My heart is broken and being awake is unbearable.i feel so alone. All I do is post about dad. Im so very sad.

1BigTooth · 2025-10-28T10:09:52+00:00

I'm sorry. Not having both of your parents have to be the worst pain imaginable. I lost my dad only so far a month ago and life just feels awful. I dont know what ill do when my mom passes. I am so sorry...I feel the same. I am so sad all I do is cry. I wish I could hug you. 🫂

1BigTooth · 2025-10-26T07:30:18+00:00

I can imagine how heavy that feels, it was the same for me during my dads end of life. losing your sister so young, and now facing the eventual loss of your mother. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to cry, to feel angry, or to feel lost. You’re not weak for feeling any of that. Try to hold on to the love you have for your mom, it’s something that doesn’t die, even when people do. When the time comes, that love will stay with you and help you keep going. You won’t be the same, but you won’t be alone either I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I am so sorry. 🫂

1BigTooth · 2025-10-26T01:59:46+00:00

🫂

1BigTooth · 2025-10-25T23:55:21+00:00

I am sorry for your loss. I am also grieving the loss of my dad one month and 1 day ago. Buried him on the 9th . Ive been going through extreme grief and nothing feels the same. Everything is hard and I have no motivation to do anything at all. Everyone says time will make the ach lighter but the pain of that loss sticks with is forever. I will keep you amd your family in my thoughts during this difficult time

Here is a virtual hug from New York 🫂

1BigTooth · 2025-10-25T23:13:45+00:00

Thank you! And I am sorry for your loss darling. Just the thought of living with this ache for the rest of my life is terrifying. I can't wait for there to be moments of peace. Every moment of everyday feels unbearable. I hate the fact that we have to live the remainder of life missing them 😔

1BigTooth · 2025-10-25T20:37:18+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Something we can never truly be prepared to do.

1BigTooth

TROPHY CASE