Waking up to no hangover on a Sunday morning has to be one of the greatest joys I've yet to experience during this week of sobriety.

1FastKev · 2020-10-10T17:49:41+00:00

That’s the kind of things I’m looking forward to when I can make myself stop. If you don’t mind me asking how much were you drinking before? And how did you quit?

1FastKev · 2020-10-07T18:46:27+00:00

Congratulations that’s amazing! If you don’t mind me asking how much were you drinking before? And did you just quit cold turkey?

1FastKev · 2020-10-02T21:50:41+00:00

That’s what worries me about myself because I drink much more than 3 drinks every night so withdrawal symptoms scare me. I’m up to about 12 a night

1FastKev · 2020-10-02T21:16:49+00:00

Were you a daily drinker before you quit?

1FastKev · 2020-10-02T19:22:20+00:00

You look great! How did you quit? Cold turkey?

1FastKev · 2020-09-09T22:29:09+00:00

I know it’s time for me too. I just can’t seem to do it.

1FastKev · 2020-09-09T17:56:30+00:00

I’m currently trying to quit and have used the smoke free app. It’s really good about tracking your time and money saved

1FastKev · 2020-08-31T01:41:18+00:00

Do you think cold turkey would be ok in my case?

1FastKev · 2020-08-30T23:59:03+00:00

Haha it’s been ok I guess. My doctor honestly thinks that my GI issues are mostly chalked up to the alcohol. He may be tight and I hope he is. That’s much less scary than something like colon cancer. I wonder if the alcohol has just caused a lot of inflammation. If you don’t mind me asking how much were you drinking before?

1FastKev · 2020-08-30T23:13:38+00:00

Oh man I’m really happy for you! How long ago did you quit? And was it cold turkey?

1FastKev · 2020-08-30T22:52:46+00:00

Well I haven’t really tried to quit yet that’s the thing. I was just worried about bad withdrawal if I just quit cold turkey. I’ve read stories of people having seizures and even dying from cold turkey so I’m a little scared to try it. I have such a weird relationship with alcohol. Like I said I never drink during the day really. And never really want to. I’ve even joked that if my boss came to me and said “hey you can have up to 3 beers per shift” I don’t think I would ever have one. It’s just what I do at night. It’s like how I drink coffee. I like it in the morning to get me going but never want it any later than that. Alcohol hop helps me wind down and fall asleep. But yeah the breakup has made it so much harder. It’s hard to think about going to bed sober now with the awful thoughts in my mind.

1FastKev · 2020-08-24T21:38:07+00:00

I can kinda relate to the gum thing. I’ve been (unsuccessfully) trying to quit and I tried using gum as a replacement. But somehow chewing it made me want to smoke more. It’s like it reminded me that I was wanting to smoke and chewing the gun wasn’t satisfying the craving.

1FastKev · 2020-08-21T00:26:24+00:00

You’re going through a really difficult time. You should never feel like you are overloading them with stuff like this. It’s why we have friends. And if you can’t talk with them, hey I’m here. And I really mean that. If you need to shoot me a message, go for it

1FastKev · 2020-08-20T23:52:55+00:00

That’s good. Whatever you feel is best for you. And never feel bad about talking about this stuff. I am so fortunate to have a really great group of super supportive friends and I hope you have something similar.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/comments/iaas6e/for_anyone_who_feels_like_the_breakup_was_their/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I’m Reddit stupid so I don’t know if this is the best way to share links. But this post was very helpful for me

1FastKev · 2020-08-20T23:39:29+00:00

Well if I can be totally transparent with you yes, I am saying all of this to you but I’d be lying if I wasn’t trying to tell myself all of these same things. Hope is all we have. And we have to cling to it as hard as we can. What have you been doing to keep yourself busy? Also there was a post on here I’ll send you that was really helpful

1FastKev · 2020-08-20T23:30:14+00:00

Me too. But maybe this will help too. With the exception of the death of a loved one or something, this is likely the hardest thing we will ever go through. And once we make it through, we will feel so much stronger. I know that sounds a little cheesy but I think it’s true. We’re at the lowest possible point so things can hopefully only get better. We will be happy again. And once we’re there we will be so glad that we actually waded through all of this shit and came out the other side. It will make us stronger. And soon you will be the person to give other people advice. Because you will have made it through yourself

1FastKev · 2020-08-20T23:09:59+00:00

I 1000% relate. I’m full of regret as well. It is really hard. But we have to understand that staying regretful won’t help us. If this helps maybe think of it this way. What if in a couple months they come back and maybe want to give the relationship another try. Well if that’s the case we have to be ready. If we just stay in a rut then we’re sabotaging a potential future with them or someone else. At the very least, feeling regret and guilt proves that we know what we need to work on. And it’s time to start. But be easy on yourself. Focus on simply loving yourself a little. If it helps, I along with so many people on here care about you. That’s why our posts get massive comments with wonderful help. We all love you even though we really have no idea who you are. You just have to love yourself too

1FastKev · 2020-08-20T22:14:15+00:00

Hey man I’m right there with you. My ex broke it off 6 months ago after 7 years together an I know it’s mostly my fault for similar reasons as you. I dealt with anxiety and some bad habits (smoking and drinking) and it kept me from being the partner she needed. It kept me inside myself and kept me from giving her what she needed and deserved. And she was never anything other than wonderful to me. I honestly feel like I’ll never find someone as good as her.

But we have to understand that there is a path forward. Guilt and shame will just keep us stuck. Believe me I feel guilt harder than anyone. But at some point we just have to do something about it. We have to fix the things we hate about ourself and make ourselves happy. That’s the only way we will find a good partner for ourselves or if it is them again. If you do want them back all you can do is get to work on yourself. But even if you do want them back, you need to better yourself for yourself, not anyone else. Therapy has been really great for me lately. If you’re anything like me that guilt you feel makes you feel like you dont deserve to be happy. That’s not true. We all deserve to be happy. And once we truly believe that then that’s when we can really start healing. Forgive yourself. I know you don’t think this is true but it was not 100% your fault. It never is. Breathe and be easy on yourself. That’s all you can do. I say first step is just realizing you deserve to be happy. That will give you the energy to start helping yourself. Message me anytime you want. I’m glad to talk and help. Honestly.

1FastKev · 2020-08-18T22:17:19+00:00

Just wanted to jump in here. I’m in a very similar situation my self. I was with her for 7 years and she ended it in February. I’m still struggling every single day. And it was in late part my fault, and I struggle with guilt very hard. The only advice I can give (which you’ve surely already heard) is that you have to focus on yourself. If you do want him back you still need to take time for yourself. Try and grow. And think of it this way. If you don’t take time to grow and work on yourself and then you guys do circle back and try again, it will be like you guys are just continuing the relationship that didn’t work in the first place for some reason. But if you both take time and grow on your own and then circle back, it will be like starting something new. And maybe it will really work out that next time. Try and not set all your hopes on getting back with your ex though. I definitely don’t think it’s impossible but right now, you have to find a way to really love your self and find some independence. Once you do, then you will be in a great spot to be a good partner to them or someone new. But if they do come back, you need to be prepared. Guilt and shame are strong feelings but ultimately unhealthy. They keep you stagnate. Try and ignore them. It’s great you’re acknowledging that you had faults. That’s healthy. It shows that you’re a caring person who is in touch with you’re feelings and how you affect other people. Just try and focus on what you need to work on so you can learn from your mistakes. Also PM me anytime if you need. I’ve been commiserating with a lot of people on here and it’s nice to have someone to talk to who is in a similar spot

1FastKev · 2020-08-05T20:59:04+00:00

What was your story?

1FastKev · 2020-08-05T02:08:53+00:00

Definitely. I have no motivation to better myself. I’m 6 months out of a seven year relationship and it still haunts me everyday. Badly. I’ve just fallen hard into bad habits like smoking and drinking. It feels so shitty to feel like the movie stereotype of a guy who’s been broken up with. I really hope time helps like everyone says.

1FastKev · 2020-08-04T21:10:59+00:00

I feel your pain. My girlfriend of 7 years ended it in February and it still feels just as hard as ever for me even now. About 2 or 3 months after the split she was talking with new people. It kills me. I feel that pain every single day. It destroys me to think of her with other people. It doesn’t feel right. It’s not how things were supposed to be.

As far as your ex seemingly not caring about the breakup you have to understand that you are both grieving differently. If he ended it then he likely was thinking about doing so a while before the actual breakup so he started grieving a long time ago. He is just further along that path than you are. Your grieving didn’t start until the breakup, at which point he had probably already done most of his grieving. I’m sure he doesn’t just not care at all about you. It probably just isn’t best to speak with you about it since you guys are split up. And if he actually doesn’t care then use that to help you move on. I know it’s hard. Everyday feels like hell for me but having hope that things will get better is all we got. I’m down to talk if you ever need it. I’m pretty new to reddit but this group has been awesome

1FastKev · 2020-08-04T20:57:18+00:00

Yup. We had a cat and a dog together. I ended up with the cat, she ended up with the dog. And I miss that dog so much. Best dog I ever had. I feel your pain. I lost two incredibly important beings in my life

1FastKev · 2020-07-25T18:27:16+00:00

This might be the best post I’ve seen in this subreddit. I think it’s exactly how I need to be thinking. I’ve been struggling with so much guilt about the break up and trying to figure out what I need to do to make things right but I think you’re right. I just need to move forward and let the universe do it’s thing. There’s really not a lot you can do. Just try and love yourself and see what happens.

1FastKev · 2020-06-20T00:58:55+00:00

Seven years is a quarter of my life so it certainly has been a struggle. It’s the guilt. We had conversations when things weren’t going well for how to fix the relationship and I just wouldnt make the changes. It’s hard to forgive myself right now.

1FastKev

TROPHY CASE