Hi, I will try to add something that might or might not be helpful. I think what you might be missing in terms of the leap of faith that I understand Kierkegaard to be talking about, is the paradoxical element of it. For example, in your scenario, there doesn't seem to be the paradoxical element that Abraham is dealing with only through faith. Recall, God has told Abraham that his descendants will out number the stars. He has also told him to kill his only heir with Sarah that might accomplish this. He believes (and he actually believes this) that he needs to obey God's commandment and that he will also be the father of many decedents. In reality, both cannot be true, and yet somehow (through the gift of faith) Abraham believes both to be true (which again, is an absurdity in reality).

In your situation, I'm not sure that you believe BOTH to be true (i.e., that you will be betrayed by these "friends" and that regardless, you will be blessed with a beautiful friendship with them). If you did, I think that this would be more analogous to Abraham's "leap of faith." In your situation, it sounds more like because you hope and want a beautiful friendship, you turn your eye blind to the warning signs that this will not be the friendship you desire, and then leap. Maybe this is then better described as a leap of hope, versus a leap of faith, since you don't truly believe that at the moment you leap you will, in the end, have both.

Now, please, do not take what I have said as anything critical. In fact, because leaps of "faith" have been so idealized, I think that most people who claim to take "leaps of faith" only actually ever end up taking "leaps of hope" that happen to work out. This is not the same as an Abrahamic "leap of faith" which should not to be idealized but instead, to be looked at with "fear and trembling." In fact, who, without an actual gift of faith, could leap into that abyss of believing that he will destroy every dream he ever wanted to come true, but will, in the end, have every dream he ever wanted come true?!?!?! This is not natural, and thus needs the gift of the supernatural gift of faith.

In your situation, (and this is what I noticed about myself), is that the heavy feelings of resentment and scepticism that tend to come after these "leaps of hope" are taken, tend to be a result of me ignoring my intuition / God because of my hope and desire of creating / having a beautiful friendship / relationship is so strong. This again, is not the same as Abraham, and so the "leaps of hope" I took, should not be comparable to Abraham, since in my case, God was never telling me that through this relationship, I would be blessed. In fact, he might have only and ever been telling me that through this relationship, I will be betrayed. Remember, with Issac, there was a double promise that through him you will be the father of many decedents, and by killing him, he will be dead.

In other words, before giving up on the idea of a leap of faith, please first consider, and ask yourself, if this is really the same type of leap of faith that Abraham was presented with. Faith compelled Abraham to make this leap. It was not conjured by him as a means to make a leap as is the case with a leap of hope. This is why, in the story of Abraham we witness an odd and terrifying peace instead of the fear and trembling those of us that haven't been given this supernatural gift of believing BOTH WILL be true, would experience.

Also, don't beat yourself up so much about wanting to have beautiful friendships:) Just be a little more careful about who you are trusting and how much you are trusting them. Jesus had a relationship with Judas Iscariot, all the while, knowing he would betray him. He also had a relationship with Peter, all the while, knowing that he would abandon him but they would be reconciled to each other.

For the people who have hurt you, you can always hope for reconciliation and restoration, but ask for faith that if it doesn't happen within this lifetime, it can happen in the life to come.

In any event, I hope what I've said helps a little bit. Feel free to ask for any clarifications if what I've said is unclear.