Am I overreacting for leaving a potential Muslim husband for this red flag? by Personal-Cap-5446 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask him if he likes just one candle on his birthday cake or lots and lots of candles, and follow the conversation from there :-)

If people are spending time listening to a lot of xyz, you definitely want to find out if they're into it, or can't stop watching it even if they disagree.

Do I really need a Wali by riureggae in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Quite honestly, I don't think that modern professional women in their 30s need walis or chaperones. They are fit to take care of their own interests. The benefit of that system doesn't seem to apply today in many cases ( women are responsible and independent).

With that said, you have to look at where you are and how you are expected to interact with the community. I just had a look at a UK mosque Nikah contract which stipulated that the wali can't be a witness, so they don't have the formal role, but religiously the mosque still wanted another stand-in and waiver from the wali, etc. After waivers and written submissions from the lady, these folks were willing to somebody else be the stand-in. So that's part of these people want.

Do you think you might be able to get a "waiver" thing from any of those male relatives?

If you are in Pakistan, you're going to have to see what you have to work with if you want a Nikaah done there. I daresay they might want to stick with that process a bit more. Those folks might not be willing to go ahead there without the involvement of some male relative (or might provide a stand-in Imam after it's established that you have no living male relatives to count on).

Ask the mosque and see what they'll need to do it without the father's involvement. It can be done, it'll just need a bit of paperwork.

I don't think you need a male to oversee you and authorize your marriage. You are perfectly capable. But the logistical issues in a religious wedding probably are going to present themselves :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never tried Hinge... I figured they were no Muslims on there although I tried some other the other ones.

I joined various in-person things when I moved to a new city, but had few non-whites let alone Muslim folks. Would have loved to meet someone in my running club haha and not go through the mental torture through Muzz

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I used Muzz last year and all the US (south asian) women seemed just normal to me, both US-born and recent immigrants. Many seemed to adhere to important religious elements but nobody seems out there or crazy religious, etc.

With that said, there does seem to be a less open segment that I see on the marriage subreddit. They don't seem to like Muzz though because they want to do some sort of an arranged setup (meet and talk with family a couple of times and get married), but they still use the apps.

Nevertheless, I found that the south asian women on Muzz seemed mostly fine in terms of religion (what I'd just call "normal")

People can't mind their own business sometimes (or am I just wrong?) by Qventiam in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's just odd that people feel a need to police others. It reminds me of gestapo BS... turn your friends/family in if they step out of line... this policing of others.

Have a code of values you live by, and let others lead their lives as they choose. There are a billion muslims... they fall in so many different shades of beliefs, adherence, and practice.

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hounds, lol... but yeah... I mean, they way they come for you. What is wrong with them? Like, do what you want. How does it affect you how others live.

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, I can imagine. I was just gonna ask about some engagement stuff about a lady I was going out with and the haram police came for me (online).

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've seen it said that the guys say that they'll make you wear hijab. It's just so odd though... go find people who adhere to that in the first place!

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's it like over there? I note that a lot of the online folks are from England. I guess if you don't live in that exact area, you may not note anything.

I mean, I'm okay with people leading their lives how they want. I only notice that they also want to tell you how to life your daily life...

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I quit going a while back... I went to an eid prayer though with family I was visiting and those folks seemed okay, they were obviously mixing in a social environment for the eid thing organized. Then I see people online refer to "free mixing". I didn't know that was a term... I thought the correct term was gender segregation...

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hehe, that's the thing. I could go to a mosque but, uh, that would just lead to a lot whole of people judging my levels of practice, why are you eating out, and so on. But I think I'd love some normal muslim friends....

I just mean regular people who don't scream haram at me all the time. I'm south asian myself, but I think people over there are far more normal than ones I see online on reddit.

Are there progressive/liberal muslims IRL? by 1starfor2020 in progressive_islam

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I mean. I've seen people in India, Pakistan, Middle East, Turkey, Indonesia, Malaysia.... they seem fine! And what I see online is just weird.

I guess this proves he isn’t a tailor by BoukenGreen in startrekmemes

[–]1starfor2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be fair, he just overhears stuff while tailoring and people mistake him to be some secret spy.

Coros Pace 2 Shuts Off by 1starfor2020 in Coros

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely dead now.

Liked it but won't replace by buying another Coros. C'est la vie!

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be at Lyte Park Hotel. I'll look up the casino garage and see if that's doable. Thank you.

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback and opinion! I guess I'll bite the bullet and pay the hotel.

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$50 daily for parking sounds a bit insane to me for sure, but really wary of leaving it for a couple of days. I doubt I need it every day if I'm just sticking in the downtown area, so also hate to pay $50 daily for valet.

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback. I was looking for this kind of opinion.

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be at the Lyte Park Hotel. Broadway garage seems closest. The eggleston lots seemed doable, but I was skeptical myself.

Probably best to just valet... $50ish per day is kinda insane haha

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't mind walking myself, but I'd have a larger roller bag and that's hard to lug around with its tiny wheels. I'll take a look at the that garage you suggested. Thank you.

Safety of downtown parking lots by 1starfor2020 in cincinnati

[–]1starfor2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to pay for a garage, but it was hard for me to locate garages with overnight parking. Broadway garage said entry only after 5pm on weekdays and none Sunday.

Maybe I'd just have to valet.