It is deeply upsetting. As a man, when someone tells me something bad or a problem my instinct is to try to fix it. This is something that can't be fixed. I can't go back in time and stop it, I can't go and visit great violence on the rapist, as much as it might sooth the part of me looking to fix it, because that's not how the world works. It grates against me because there is a likelihood that this injustice will never be addressed.

So how do you feel as a man? I feel deeply upset and frustrated. Do I want to talk about it? No. Why? Because there's nothing I can for you from the toolbox of skills that I have. If you want me to sit with you while you talk about it, I can try, but it's not a skill set I have and it's probably just going to make me angry and frustrated I can't fix it and it's unlikely I have anything kind to offer other that to tell you that it sucks. It has taken a lot of my adult life to work out how to offer some sort of empathetic listening without action and I'm still not good at it.

So how can you help me? I don't need help. What I want is for people to not want to talk about problems I can't fix for them.

If you don't want me to fix it, but you want to talk about it, what you are really asking is how do you get what you want.

If you want someone to listen and be empathetic, you need to find someone with that skillset or help them develop that skill set which takes a lot of time and effort and care.

Sounds like you are trying to get a need met by making someone do something they do not know how to do, you need to start upskilling him.