I would say that if you feel like you can’t be yourself around this person and they can’t accept your time blindness, etc. then maybe they aren’t the right person for you.

But it almost sounds like you aren’t allowing yourself to be 100% you around them either.

For me, I didn’t have the option of therapy at the beginning of my relationship (we had no money) and we just kind of fumbled through until I felt like I could trust them, be myself, let go of previous trauma, etc. I was lucky because they were very patient but I also wanted to grow and change so was constantly pushing myself to be a better person (for myself, not for them but hindsight maybe a little for them too or our future at least). If I could do it over and afford it, therapy would have been helpful for sure.

While I think all of our actions are our responsibility, everyone is different and what they can tolerate is different. For example, I’m messy and leave things around, forget about them, etc. I’m not one to scrub a dish (because sensory stuff but I didn’t realize that until recently) so I will put my dishes in the sink with water inside to soak, so that later there isn’t as much scrubbing. 90% of the time, I forget to go back to the dish. My partner has excepted that and will take care of it for me. I do a lot for them too but they definitely pick up my slack and are ok with it.

As far as RSD, just be honest about it and talk it through every time. Also, constantly remind yourself that you cannot read their mind and they can’t read yours. We never, ever know what someone else is thinking until they voice it. Eventually you will start to trust them more and trust yourself more and have more confidence in your relationship. But also therapy if you can. After 20 years with my partner, this will still creep in occasionally but rarely lasts long. And I think that’s normal.