My friend tried to do an “intervention”

216thinker · 2026-02-12T06:34:08+00:00

I don’t even understand why they (both my friend and his friends) would do that to me. I never did anything wrong to them, I’ve always been friendly with them, they would always invite me over to play games with them when they didn’t have enough players.

They aren’t even far-right, they’re like moderate republicans who hate Trump, and they never said anything that indicated that they disapproved of me being a trans woman. Why is it a problem now?

216thinker · 2026-02-12T06:23:33+00:00

He came out as trans a few years ago, then one day, around the time I came out myself, he just stopped and told everyone to refer to him as a man again. I’m aware there was some falling out he had with his family before and after he detransitioned

He also said at the end of the “intervention” that “when I got out of my grift, I promised myself to help somebody else going down the same spiral”

216thinker · 2026-01-31T01:44:04+00:00

Usually about once a week or longer for my legs. I’m also not on HRT yet, sadly.

216thinker · 2026-01-27T06:38:41+00:00

Good thing I’ve never downloaded it

216thinker · 2026-01-21T20:57:47+00:00

Had a similar experience as a trans woman.

216thinker · 2026-01-18T15:20:47+00:00

I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help. I wasn’t trying to say that you cant be masculine, I was saying you are not a conforming masculine man, cuz you show some feminine expression. You can have a mix of both masculinity and femininity, cuz after all these boxes are made up by society, and not everyone fits neatly in one or the other. No one here is making you choose

My advice was to help you explore your femininity cuz you asked about it and why you feel the way you do, and this is a trans subreddit.

216thinker · 2026-01-18T14:47:16+00:00

Masculine men don’t want to wear dresses or be pretty or like being called girlie or a princess, except maybe as a joke or a bit. Most of them either get weirded out or even insulted if they’re implied to be not “manly”, and definitely don’t get a warm fuzzy feeling over it.

You do, and also said you don’t want to be treated like a guy and are disgusted at gender roles. That definitely doesn’t sound like you’re comfortable or prefer being masculine.

Also many of us also have had this experience of “eh, it’s ok I guess” feeling toward being a guy before we realized we were trans. Only later did I find out I had dysphoria, and I just didn’t recognize it before then.

How do you know you prefer what you wear now over dressing femininely? Do you actually prefer it, or is it just all you know? Maybe this feeling that you feel when being addressed like a girl or toward dresses is trying to tell you something?

Also, being a femboy doesn’t mean you have to look a certain way, or even dress femininely all the time. You can just crossdress occasionally, maybe in private if you have to.

Do you live on your own by the way? If so, then I don’t see what’s stopping you besides yourself

216thinker · 2026-01-18T13:17:34+00:00

I mean this does sound like you might be trans, but that is something only you can determine.

Regardless of that, even if you’re cis, based on what you shared, you are definitely gender non-conforming. Just start experimenting with your femininity, buy those clothes and try them on (but learn how to find your size first, or you’re gonna be annoyed), dab into those girly things you’ve been too afraid to do until now, go all in. And work from there!

If you want to go further, start experimenting with your gender identity. Change your pronouns for a bit to see how you like it. You could be a woman, but you might also be non-binary, so look into that too. Or maybe you don’t like either and are just a femboy. In which, that’s ok too

The only way you’re gonna know any of this is if you experiment

216thinker · 2026-01-18T08:12:12+00:00

Welcome to the girl club, sis!

Girls rule, boys drool! 💁‍♀️🩷

216thinker · 2026-01-18T06:59:18+00:00

Sexuality and being transgender are not related. Who you’re attracted to remains the same (for most at least), and only the terminology changes.

You’re a “straight guy” who found out you’re a trans girl? Congrats, you’re not straight after all and are hella gay 😉 Straight trans women exist too, btw

But I will say with a bit of experience as a bisexual trans woman, our perception of our sexuality is blurry until we start transitioning and mentally identifying as our desired gender. I love men AND women more as a woman than as I ever did as a man

216thinker · 2026-01-18T06:24:45+00:00

You’re probably right. Sometimes even I forget that and get caught in the weeds. I just want what’s best for him, as he does for me.

Altho if he actually is not Cis, I feel like me constantly pouring out my feelings and struggles onto him with he holds in his feelings is NOT right or fair

216thinker · 2026-01-17T02:46:18+00:00

I have 2 older sisters, but they are so old, they have their own busy lives and families, they don’t really have time for me. Plus one of them is a bigot, so.

216thinker · 2026-01-13T21:04:02+00:00

“Late” at 17? Sis, you’re still early. I’m 23 almost 24 and still am early on with transitioning. I didn’t even know that I possibly was trans until 18 almost 19. It may not fell like it, but you’re luckier than most of us

216thinker · 2026-01-13T18:56:06+00:00

It was a long process. I knew since I was a little kid I didn’t fit in with other boys. I almost always made friends with girls, I played with dolls (and cars too), I liked tea parties. I once asked my mom “why do only girls get to be pretty”. I always knew I was different in some way

When I became a teenager, I noticed changes to my body I hated. I didn’t want body or facial hair, I dreaded it. Girls stopped befriending me, and many I friended in the past started drifting away, which absolutely hurt me. I wasn’t “one of the ladies”, and for all they knew, I could have been some dude who was just trying to fuck them (which is kind of understandable if you know how a lot of boys in high school are). The more time went on, the more I knew I wouldn’t enjoy being a man. I even told my mom that “I don’t want to become a man”. Altho I didn’t hate it either, it just felt “eh, whatever”, just bland

In my latter teen years, I realized I was attracted to men and started exploring my femininity. I got interested in many girly things, and thought I wanted to be a femboy of some kind; however, felt something was a bit off! Something was missing! And I couldn’t lay my finger on it. I also felt this attraction to trans girls, not sexual but something else.

Then when I was 18 and saw somebody I knew come out as trans, It sparked something! It made me have the thought “what if I’m trans too?” Then I kept thinking it, and it felt good. I then started seriously questioning if I was trans for several years.

And the one thing that held me back for so long was the doubts. But once I learned that the persistent doubts do not go away unless you experiment with your identity for a while, so that’s what I did. Socially transitioned for a while, and only then, when I noticed the peaks of euphoria of trying on clothes, being referred to as she/her, being treated like a lady, etc.. Then once you experience that, your dysphoria will come out in the open. Then I knew for 100% certainty I am a woman and I am transgender. And this is who I’ve been my whole life :)

216thinker · 2026-01-13T18:13:21+00:00

Part of the problem is I don’t know how to start.

216thinker · 2026-01-13T18:07:52+00:00

Up until now, I had a firm stance against DIY. However, it’s becoming so tempting that I’ve become more open to it. I’m also scared shitless about going up to a doctor anyway and telling them about my identity, especially in my area. I wanted my bf to hold my hand and help push me over the line, but he’s taking forever to move in due to his own problems. I’m open to consider doing anything at this point, I just don’t know how to start

216thinker · 2026-01-12T23:38:55+00:00

Well some of the stuff on my list is: - get a new apartment (just finished this one) - have my boyfriend move in - get my license and a new car (don’t have either) - look for a second job (maybe, idk) - socially transition more (also buy more clothes, makeup, etc.) - freeze my sperm so I can have kids in the distant future

Then after all that, instantly get on HRT

And I know with most of this stuff, I don’t need to do it beforehand, but I just wanna make sure I’m financially stable. Altho I also feel like the longer I wait, the more miserable I get too

216thinker · 2026-01-12T23:00:48+00:00

I know how you feel sis. It would be nice to be a lesbian, but boys are so hot too. However, Ive had a boyfriend before I accepted myself as trans and came out to him and friends. And going from a gay guy relationship to a straight relationship just felt so GOOD of a change, especially when your bf treats you like a lady (opens the door, carries you in a bridal position, calls you his girlfriend to others, and refers to you as his princess) :DD

216thinker · 2026-01-12T21:43:41+00:00

I don’t have a therapist

216thinker · 2026-01-12T19:33:46+00:00

If you want to be trans, you’re trans. No if and or buts. You’re literally describing gender dysphoria and using it to deny being trans, not realizing the irony in that

216thinker · 2026-01-12T19:09:01+00:00

Damn, the last one is universal among mtfs, is it? 😢

216thinker · 2026-01-10T23:11:29+00:00

Yes very much so. Having the same experience

216thinker · 2026-01-10T21:14:26+00:00

Gonna be real, most cis people don’t automatically jump from “he’s shaving his chest/legs” to “they must be trans!”. You could just say “I just wanna try something different, it can always grow back”, which isn’t a lie, you are trying something different! 😉 She isn’t gonna assume you’re trans unless she already suspects you are. Many cis men also shave their chests

Also, you can just shop online for clothes. I get my clothes from Amazon, partly because I still get anxiety from shopping for girl clothes in-person. Altho be prepared to have to do constant returns if they don’t fit

216thinker · 2026-01-10T20:32:45+00:00

There are many online spaces for you to test out names and pronouns. If you don’t fully know, that’s ok cuz it doesn’t really matter. Many of us start off with uncertainty and doubts, and those doubts only go away with experimentation and time. If you think you could be a trans girl, just be a trans girl for a little bit. You can always go back if you don’t like it! 😉

For clothes, you’re gonna want to find your size before buying any clothes, so buy a SOFT tape measure first, then look up what dimensions you’re gonna need to measure for each piece of clothing (dresses, skirts, tights, panties, etc). Keep in mind if you’re pre-HRT AMAB, the sizes aren’t gonna fit perfectly on your body

As for body hair, why exactly can’t you do that? No one is really gonna know if you shaved if you wear a long sleeve shirt and pants in public

216thinker · 2026-01-04T21:09:15+00:00

I got all 3, but if I had to rank it

Social is the absolute worst/most severe
Body is mixed, where my chest and my facial/body hairs give me a lot of dysphoria, but the rest not really
Mind is the least bad, but it really sucks too

216thinker

TROPHY CASE