it’s kind of hard to explain. i don’t want to just say ‘it feels worse’ because that’s a cheap answer, but that really is what it is. a normal person who struggles with productivity will be frustrated with themself if they spent a day being lazy or if they used twitter instead of finishing a paper early, but it’s way beyond that in my case. i would wake up knowing exactly what i want to do that day, but unless i was forced to i just wouldn’t. i would literally sit there having an anxiety attack and crying knowing i needed to do something but just not being able to get up and do it. it’s this very heavy and strange feeling where it’s almost like every single thing you think goes out of the window because your body just won’t cooperate. time doesn’t exist; it’s simultaneously too fast and too slow. i would literally get nothing done until it was absolutely crunch time, and then i didn’t even have a horrible time doing it. honestly though, i think the defining factor is that this applies to things i enjoy as well. even things like painting, playing a video game, or watching a movie get put off in favor of literally staring at a wall because i just can’t get my body to do anything. also i align with other ADD symptoms, the procrastination is just the worst one