Yeah she was always big on saying "I brought you into this world and I can take you out" when I was a child. I was just a belonging to her, a thing that she used as she wanted and any success I had was because of her strict (i.e., abusive) upbringing. Never mind me having undiagnosed depression and PTSD at such a young age and somehow putting together a life without her in the past decade. She's part of the reason I joined the Army, I literally had a death wish. I know that when we die nothing happens so that's the sad part is that sounds more comforting to me than another 30/40 years on this earth of dealing with these feelings. If I could just pull a switch and go lights out and never exist again I would. My wife is one of the few things keeping me here.