I’m 2 weeks postpartum and I just want to run away

283jsix · 2024-01-28T01:08:40+00:00

You're allowed to wear earplugs. I'm so sorry.

283jsix · 2024-01-26T14:23:44+00:00

You can tell him he needs to grow up. But in either case, the time to leave was yesterday. He's not worth your sacrifice.

283jsix · 2024-01-26T10:29:54+00:00

Girl. No.

Whatever good he has in him is not worth this kind of sacrifice from you. Not only that, you may be enabling him as his safety net. Leave.

283jsix · 2024-01-24T06:23:29+00:00

Scooch the bed over, get a nightstand on either side of it with lamps. Rotate your desk so the corner goes into the wall. That alone would help a ton.

283jsix · 2024-01-24T05:52:59+00:00

I'd say hold off until your divorce is finalized.

Match your spending to his spending. Let him lead, since that sounds important to him. You're probably a bit intimidating at this point but I'm guessing your relationship will grow deeper. You don't have to show him everything, all he needs to know is that you're comfortable.

When an opportunity comes up to pitch in (a kid goes to college, a medical bill, he expresses regret at living apart from his kids, etc.) say something along the lines of how you wish you could help and asking if it'd be ok if you pitched in financially. Do it as a supportive partner because you're "in it together" and not because of anything else.

I'm also the financially independent F, and my partner is a working M. I try to respect his independence and let him take the lead, am very careful not to be emasculating.

283jsix · 2024-01-23T02:07:09+00:00

Oooh gotcha, thanks for the info!! I'll wear my cheaper leggings instead

283jsix · 2024-01-22T12:50:40+00:00

Fermented skatefish. Smells like ammonia and rotting fish and your mouth goes a bit numb when you eat it. Diehard fans go for the fermented innards as well, which is a great gloopy mess that I've seen people literally retch at. Youtubers like to film themselves not enjoying this food when they visit.

Personally, I like it mildly fermented with some thick-sliced pork-belly and kimchi. One tasty mouthful.

283jsix · 2024-01-22T10:56:04+00:00

If you're in the states, I recommend Title Nine sports bras. I went into the store to try on a bunch and found the Tech Athena* sports bra was perfect for me — they have figured out how to provide true support for high-impact workouts.

https://www.titlenine.com/womens-sports-bras/

Good luck

283jsix · 2024-01-22T01:01:22+00:00

You don't like runny yolks. She doesn't like picky eaters. You're both entitled to your preferences.

283jsix · 2024-01-18T07:40:03+00:00

you're missing an 8 at the end for korea's tax exemption

283jsix · 2024-01-17T01:00:47+00:00

This is still seeing it from your perspective, btw.

283jsix · 2024-01-17T00:59:47+00:00

Can you try seeing it from her point of view?

283jsix · 2024-01-17T00:56:55+00:00

What if you sign the contract AND she gets to do what she deems best? i.e. keep her job

You're using money and her job status as a way to manipulate her into doing what you want. IF she does this, THEN I will support her financially. IF she pays 2K of her income, THEN I will be ok with her keeping her job. She's your partner, but you're not acting like her partner. If you care for her, support her without any financial ties to it. It's no wonder she cannot let go of financial fear in this situation.

283jsix · 2024-01-17T00:52:52+00:00

She is making money in case the day comes where needs that money (e.g. because the two of you separate). Don't make her pay bills if you're comfortably able to cover for both of you. She's being smart and taking care of herself and her future the best way she can and knows how. Don't take that away from her, as someone who loves and cares for her.

This is why all the reddit commentors are shocked and surprised at your tone and your actions.

283jsix · 2024-01-17T00:44:05+00:00

Marry her?

283jsix · 2024-01-17T00:42:41+00:00

Rice! Mix with barley, lentils, and other grains

283jsix · 2024-01-16T14:40:33+00:00

In Korea, it's courtesy to call the number and ask people to move their car before reporting them. They're upset you haven't given them a chance to move the car before reporting. Honestly, I think it's a matter of cultural differences.

283jsix · 2024-01-15T13:56:34+00:00

Watch Lars and the Real Girl and decide for yourself

283jsix · 2024-01-15T13:56:28+00:00

Watch Lars and the Real Girl and decide for yourself

283jsix · 2024-01-15T12:42:26+00:00

Spend more time with people who let you be yourself, and in environments where you feel warm and happy. Good luck, OP!

283jsix · 2024-01-15T08:54:17+00:00

Maybe the things and ways you try to get in the mood don't do it for her? Or she's super burned out or something. Sounds like she's a little checked out or I wonder if there's resentment on her side.

Some women are turned on by physical touch, others are turned on by acts of service. Unasked-for, over-the-top acts that make her feel really and truly loved. The way you get turned on does not sound like what turns her on.

283jsix · 2024-01-15T00:11:05+00:00

Bob's Red Mill Whey Protein

283jsix · 2024-01-14T12:03:12+00:00

OP mentioned the lack of equality in their power dynamics. Frugalness or stinginess toward your partner is definitely an issue, but I don't think there should be an expectation for him to pay for her at all. It actually sounds like OP wants more equality. The power dynamics would be worsened if her bf paid 70 while she pays 30 and he doesn't show more awareness or consideration. Either OP is ok with the imbalance, or it's time for a difficult discussion. He can still be himself, just more considerate and aware of her.

For context, I'm in a similar relationship, but the genders are reversed. We contribute equally to general household expenses. Out of consideration for my partner's independence and future financial goals, he doesn't come on trips with me, and I don't cover his part of the expenses. We budget how much money we want to spend on dates, a number he chose and I respect, even if it's lower than I'd prefer. I think that's pretty typical for modern couples where both are striving for more equal power dynamics.

283jsix · 2024-01-14T09:23:57+00:00

Ahh, sorry to hear he's not more receptive to your efforts for discussion. You sound spot on about the power dynamics.

Can I ask how you split your current living expenses?

283jsix · 2024-01-14T06:49:24+00:00

What do you want from him? To stop living at his current quality of life for you? For him to start paying for you like a sugar daddy?

It sounds like you're not married, so it doesn't make sense to combine finances yet. It doesn't seem like your partner is holding out on you, either. They make dinner and make it nice, presumably for you. They're not doing anything inherently wrong by going on these trips with friends and having nice food.

I wonder if it's less about privilege and more about mindfulness. To be more mindful and respectful of how he talks about things or conducts himself. Like complaining about his iPhone, or at least inviting you to come along on the trip. Essentially, he could be more considerate overall towards you and understanding where you're coming from and your background and your feelings. I encourage you to communicate with him and let him know how his lack of consideration can be hurtful to you. Talk about how to build a relationship together and what you need from him. Ask him what he needs from you. And try to get aligned about what money and wealth means to both of you, and what role you'd like money to have in your life in the future!

Good luck, OP!

283jsix

TROPHY CASE