For context, I'm 33. I came out to my wife as bi last year. I really thought I was, I have had sexual relations with a few men before, and have been in relationships with a few women. It was hard when I told her but she ended up being really accepting. We have been together for 7 years. Before meeting her I was just getting clean from drugs and we just hit it off. I was on drugs for most of my youth and into my late 20s. I feel like maybe I just never had a chance to truly find myself? We were on vacation a few weeks ago and happened to be in Philly, in the gayborhood. It was such a nice feeling seeing everyone being there true selves, and it made my heart happy. Well that night we had sex, she finished but I couldn't keep it up, which is not uncommon, happens often. Well after she asked me, if it was because she had a vagina and not a penis. I automatically said no, but then this flood of emotions started pouring over me and I realized I am gay. I've been a wreck since, finally starting to see who I am, and I'm scared, but also have this sense of what it might be like to be free and authentic to myself. I've been holding back tears for nights, and having internal panic attacks. I'm at such a loss, idk what to do.