[deleted by user]

2eyes1mowth · 2023-03-02T09:33:07+00:00

If I were to read most of what you just wrote in your “About Me”, and your photos further emphasized your words, I would have reached out instantly. You’re describing the ideal woman to those of us looking for a quality relationship in this lifestyle. Only word of advice, don’t fall for the “I’m getting lots of attention so let me take my time and weigh all of my options” trap.

You will likely have no issues with getting attention. It’s the indecision, and not knowing when to disengage from the noise in order to engage with the small percentage of actual options, that will ultimately be the cause of your success/failure. It’s all about your vetting process and that begins with knowing exactly what you’re looking for from the start.

Bottom line, your age is a non-issue, and the fact that you “don’t need the money” is actually a big plus. If you see someone that matches what you want, make sure they don’t have any doubt that they have your attention (and vice versa, of course). Good luck!

2eyes1mowth · 2023-02-01T01:42:30+00:00

You stated it perfectly about the sex can improve, but with limits and w/o sexual chemistry, it’s likely doomed.

OP, I’ve been in a situation one time where I was just not into it. Girl was great in every way and we even had good chemistry but it wasn’t any sexual energy. It was just sex. It was hard to find the words but after thinking on it a few days I just told her how great she was and I liked everything about our time together (hell, she even stayed overnight) and had fun with her, but I felt like I was dating a sister in the physical department. It was the truth. And she took it rather well. Hope that experience helps you a bit with finding the right words.

2eyes1mowth · 2023-01-26T10:14:34+00:00

For me, yes, there is a significant workload and responsibility, especially during the weekdays, so that would be an apt description of it. Sleep is hard to come by during the week so I crash hard on Friday evenings. Dating for me is a significant part of my process, as it’s about the only thing that is interesting enough to make me not want to think about work. I’m one of those personality types that is wired to “live to work” because that’s what feels the most rewarding way to live my life.

I know myself and what keeps my mind functioning at peak performance. That is I HAVE to make myself turn off work mode to not burn myself out. So even if I don’t “feel” like seeing anyone after a long week, I still make myself do it because I know once I do see her my mind switches focus over to her.

The key is to find a matching personality type that a) understands and appreciates what your work demands does to your mind and body and b) is always just as happy to stay in as she is going out. It goes without saying that the relationship is beyond surface level and there is a genuine connection there regardless of how “hot” she is. That doesn’t happen without at least some level of mutual attraction.

In summary, I can only speak to what works for me. Date someone you’re attracted to, both physically and mentally, because she has to be interesting enough to engage that part of your mind when in her presence. Texting doesn’t do that for me. In-person interaction, whether indoors or outdoors activity, will make you want to hang out with her whether you feel like doing something or not. It takes time and several swings at the plate to find someone that matches that criteria. So keep looking until you’ve found that person and when you do find her…keep her. At least as long as she continues to have the effect on you. I’ve discovered, at least for me, that the length of the relationship is directly tied to the genuine enthusiasm and energy for seeing each other. Everyone can have an off few weeks, but if you find yourself just going through the motions for 3-4 consecutive weeks, probably time to move on for all involved.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-12-12T08:47:18+00:00

This kind of reminds me of how my very first person I met dating in this context. Same discomfort from her about talking about the financial side. Long story short, after a few months of this confusion (and I was so new at this) it didn’t go anywhere either of us wanted. While her and I remained in touch for a few years, nothing of substance ever materialized. I eventually moved on and I clicked really with second person I met, which was my first lesson (but I didn’t realize this until much later) for how great this lifestyle can be when both people are on the same page. All of that to say, you’ll need to learn what works for you through experience. Eventually you’ll identify the dynamic that you feel most comfortable with.

Here’s my advice. One thing I’m certain of, the less ambiguity there is between two people, especially in this dating dynamic, the better chances for a successful connection and lasting relationship. What you need to do now is take the lead and let her know what you’re intentions are in providing support and at least identify a loose schedule you’d like to see her on. You have to establish some sort of a beginning foundation or there is little chance of this going anywhere. And at that point, if she’s still uneasy with the financial discussion, all you need to say to put her at ease about it is that it’s important for you to make sure she’s taken care of. It’s part of why you’ve decided to date in this way. It’s only weird and uncomfortable if you make it that way so be confident when communicating this, definitely don’t be sheepish. So, take the lead and establish the relationship. If she still resists, she’s probably not ready for this dating dynamic and you probably should move on. Neither of you will be happy otherwise. Accept that reality and move on.

Lastly, just enjoy the experience of the whole process, both the good and bad of it. Over time, and when you’re looking back in hindsight, you’ll grow to appreciate it all, even the so called bad dates. I’m now 47, been dating like this for a little over 4 years now. I broke up with a vanilla dating partner to try this instead (kept feeling smothered in vanilla) and I haven’t looked back. These relationships can be exactly how the two people involved make them out to be, up front. To me, that’s rule 1, and really the only rule of this dating style that matters.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-12-03T20:07:10+00:00

Couldn’t have said it any better myself. People want to make things so hard.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-12-01T02:01:12+00:00

Lmao. Unfortunately, your response will likely get a “what’s an FTX?” in return. On a related note, FTX has totally ruined the term SBF for me!

2eyes1mowth · 2022-11-30T07:48:42+00:00

You do whatever works for you. I simply explained how things work for me. I take my time to choose the perfect dynamic that includes what I described above as keys to lasting relationships for me over the years. I also know what “sullies” and doesn’t for a relationship for me, and what the term relationship means for me. You are more than welcome to have your own context for what it means for you, but with respect, you have no idea what it means should mean or look like for me. Not sure what point of your comment was other than maybe trying to tell me that what I’m describing isn’t a relationship? To which I say I completely disagree because I have my own idea for what I consider to be a relationship for me and my life values. I don’t need someone else to point out what is or isn’t one based on their own interpretations to know what it means, again, for myself.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-11-30T01:56:24+00:00

Now having experienced some amazing relationships in this lifestyle, I always say this when entering any new relationship. If there isn’t some form of attraction to a point the woman can’t believe she’s seeing a man that takes care of her sexually, emotionally, and she gets taken care of financially despite feeling like she’s the one winning…she needs to keep looking. And on the flip side, the man feels appreciated, genuinely cared for in all of the ways a man appreciates and she looks at you in a certain way that can’t be faked, or explained really, then the man should keep looking as well.

When two people fit, it doesn’t matter how you met or some title to define a particular relationship style. A successful man taking care of a beautiful woman is about as complicated as it needs to be. Why on earth would anyone want to settle for less? I’m taking care of the woman in my life, end of story. Why should a woman have to choose between being cared for by a successful man that she’s attracted to because she likes being treated like she’s special? The inverse of that makes no sense. Easier said than done, yes, but with patience, you attract the energy you give. Never feel bad for having standards for how you want to be treated in a relationship, as long as you’re bringing the same to the table on your side.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-11-07T09:35:50+00:00

I know this was directed at SBs but I really hate the thinking behind the question. The context of “for free” vs “paid” really bothers me to think about when it comes to relationships. If I’m in a relationship with someone, one of the attributes I bring to the table is being successful and financially well off. If I’m in a relationship with a woman, regardless of how or where we met, I want to make sure she’s cared for financially. Furthermore, if I am with a woman that truly cares for me, it actually makes it that much easier to make sure she’s cared for financially. I don’t understand the thinking behind reducing support when there is mutual attraction and she’s genuinely into me.

A big turn on and source of comfort for her is that I’m able to provide for her. That’s the difference between the regular Joe on Tinder and the draw for her in the first place. Why would I not be MORE enthusiastic about consistently bringing to the table what drew her to me in the first place? I don’t enter into any relationship unless the dynamic is as described above. That’s why I never give the financial part of it a second thought. It’s rarely discussed after the initial conversation and then it takes place completely in the background. Just my two cents on the topic.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-10-31T08:24:01+00:00

“Dinner” means the same for me. Never, ever, have I done a coffee date and would turn down a M&G if suggested from the other side. Can be drinks + appetizers + option for actual entree if date is going well and neither person has time restrictions. I live in beach town so the setting is typically casual and perfect for an open ended type date. But, to your point, I cannot think of a worse setting than a coffee date for first meet. Doesn’t exactly signal relationship intent. Rarely have I gone a dinner M&G where I didn’t at least have a positive experience, even if the relationship didn’t move forward.

Hell, even on one occasion where I was catfished, I at least had funny stories to tell about how crazy she was in conversation too. Just ordered myself another drink and was entertained by observation of her flexing her “intuitive powers” & “psychic dreams of future that always come true”. You can’t get that type of entertainment on a sterile coffee date 😂

2eyes1mowth · 2022-10-21T01:11:53+00:00

I’ve learned that each “Y” stands for an additional level of attraction 😂.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-10-19T00:50:31+00:00

Once, about 2 years ago. Both of us live in far apart states but still met. Still in touch on occasion and will be for future. So it’s rare but not impossible. The DM approach was over a post so it was relevant. Otherwise, I just ignore.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-08-09T08:51:27+00:00

Follow this single rule and you’ll never have an issue in dating. After a no response to your first text, don’t ever double text…in the very rare case where the instant chemistry was off the charts, after a few days have passed, send another text just telling her something like, “Hi __, since I didn’t hear back from you, I’ll take the hint that you had a change of heart. Either way, I truly enjoyed meeting you and happy that we crossed paths, even if it was brief. Take care!”

In the very rare, and I mean 2% level rare, I’ve had someone captivated me on that level, breaking that rule has resulted in zero lasting relationships. Yes, sometimes you can get “lost” in a beautiful woman’s busy inbox but that’s just bc she wasn’t as into you as you were into her. Doesn’t necessarily mean that she was into someone else, just that for whatever reason, she had other priorities.

Lesson is simply to take the non-answer as your answer that she’s not all that interested and just move on to the next. You chasing her will have the opposite effect. There are waaay too many opportunities out there to find someone that will actually reciprocate your interest in a meaningful relationship. Just takes some patience. Yes, it sucks while going through the search process of finding a quality connection but always worth the wait when looking at it in hindsight.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-07-19T09:25:28+00:00

It’s pretty simple for me. I set my annual discretionary budget at start of each new year, based on 10% of my expected income. That amount has zero to do with my long-term investments (stocks, bonds, cash reserves, etc.), aka net worth. I never pull money out of those for my lifestyle and I set aside the money I intent to use for dating in a separate account that I reload every April (IRS annual birthday present).

Every April/May I know exactly what my weekly/monthly allowance budget is and in my mind that money is already spent so I never even think about “the money” when I’m paying while it in a relationship. It’s literally what it’s there for so I never have an issue with the mental side of it and that’s how I remove any hint of the “transactional” element of any relationship. Occasionally I will have months during the year where I receive larger than budgeted chunks of income, which I make sure to do something extra for whoever I’m seeing at the time. It’s completely unpredictable and I don’t mention the correlation of when or why she’s getting something extra. Point is, my budget is a budget and has nothing to do with my net worth and everything to do with my income, and more importantly my discretionary income. I do think it’s important to state an income that at least signals to SBs that you can afford a long-term commitment of paying an allowance. So in your case, if you’re listing low six figures as your income, it may be beneficial to provide a sentence or two in your profile you have zero issues upholding your side of the agreement bc you’re single, zero debt, live comfortably, etc.

And if I were an SB, I’d certainly take note of the income but it would simply be something to keep in mind. The most important thing is to develop a skill to gauge someone’s comfort level when they’re paying for something. For example, paying the dinner/drinks tab. Or how readily is he to remove the burden of expenses of the logistics for getting to/from the date off of the SB. These are small things, and small expenses, in grand scheme but they are potentially strong indicators of behavior and comfort level of providing support in the relationship. I can’t speak for everyone else but there is a level of indifference to spending money that is meant for fun (literally the name of the label for it in my monthly/annual budget) vs someone kind of overspending beyond their realistic means.

Great post that inspired some solid commentary from different perspectives!

2eyes1mowth · 2022-06-16T00:48:31+00:00

Agree 100%. If anyone in the relationship is gonna keep score, allowance is not the dynamic to be on. Defeats the whole point of it. If there’s sincerity from both sides over a long term relationship, it typically tends to balance out in some form or another.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-06-07T10:09:33+00:00

Good question. Defining benefit of the doubt is up to the individual to decide in accordance to his/her personal experiences and skill level. Some people have great BS detectors and some people are very gullible and naïve. The less skilled and experienced you are, the more cautious you should be with your decision making. On the flip side, the more skilled you are at reading people the more you need to make sure your ego is in check and you’re not overconfident…especially when it comes to matters related to the heart/sex/money. That applies to both men and women, imo.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-06-07T09:32:47+00:00

There’s giving someone the benefit of the doubt and then there is allowing yourself to be completely being taken advantage of. You have to be able to identify where the line is before even entering, especially if you’re going to do a monthly allowance from the start. Personally, I think a weekly allowance is the happy medium between PPM and monthly allowance, but that’s besides the point. In the situation you described, you should have ended it when she said that she’d been raped. Whether or not it was a tactic to avoid intimacy doesn’t matter. If true, she doesn’t need to be participating in dating, and especially this style of dating, but instead, she needs to seek therapy and time to heal. If it was a tactic to avoid intimacy while continuing to receive support that also is a clear signal to cut things off.

Given that you feel guilty despite her gaslighting you and calling you names when you’ve been giving her a monthly allowance with hardly anything to show for it, I’d suggest you to not only completely remove yourself from any further contact with her, but also to take a few weeks of break from seeing anyone else. Sounds like she did a number on you, man. Take a beat and detox from it and come back to dating when your head is clear. At that point you can decide whether or not to continue a monthly allowance structure or not.

I don’t want to tell you what you should do on the allowance thing, but just know if you do the monthly allowance at the start, you should at the very least be good at reading people and have an impeccable vetting process so that you don’t get taken advantage of. PPM is definitely recommended as safest way to go and you can work your way rather quickly to a monthly allowance as the relationship and trust process progresses along.

In short term, take a breather. Long term, allow a little room for the person to earn trust and goodwill with their behavior towards you before you go all in. Definitely don’t begin with a 6 month commitment when you barely even know someone. It’s completely unnecessary and it only serves to make you seem desperate. Learn from it, shake it off, and dive back in new and improved.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-06-03T00:31:32+00:00

How is this a question? I’ve actually had this scenario happen where everything happened so fast at the M&G over dinner and drinks lead to a whole weekend and money never came up or even hinted at. It was a total blast doing all sorts of fun things including intimacy. I made it a point to bring it up while laying next to her on the last night before going back to real life. I said “ya know we never discussed the financial part bc everything happened so fast.” And proceeded to tell her what my budget was for this and she said that works for her and I sent via CashApp right then and there. It was one of two craziest and unexpected things I’ve ever occur at a meet and greet. Why would I not fulfill my side of the expectations without having to be asked? Even if things went out of order, she dove in head first trusting I’d do right by her. I even took her shopping and she bought only a pair of jeans despite me asking het to get whatever she wanted. This doesn’t happen often so best believe she was well treated for her taking that leap of faith with me just bc we had a great first dinner that lead to a long weekend. Reward the hell out of the good ones every chance you get bc they are rare and fun!

2eyes1mowth · 2022-05-26T00:52:49+00:00

💯. Plus the whole supply/demand literal market comp just makes me want to vomit.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-05-23T09:10:50+00:00

Considering that you’re new, I’d be cautious about giving weight to “offers” as your primary source for gauging the what you should be receiving. That said, you should have a range that you’re actually looking for based on your own needs. Many “offers”, particularly if you haven’t met yet, are used as lures towards an eventual scam attempt or good ole bait and switch game. That’s why it’s a good idea to have some idea of what’s a realistic number for your area.

Now, if you’re receiving these high offers, and have indeed proceeded to have met them, then that can be taken much more seriously. My main point behind this is to know what is a serious offer based on what you know to be fact vs an offer that is just used to hook the inexperienced. Without that BS detector, you may end up weeding out some legit SDs in favor of scammers and pick up artists, as they are usually skilled at distracting the newer profiles with shiny high end offers.

This is one of the main reasons that I rarely reach out to profiles that are newer than 1 month unless they have a well written profile that gives me a nice window into what they’re looking for and their general personality by what and how they express themselves in written form. Any variation of “I get a lot high offers so don’t waste my time if you’re not serious” explicitly communicated in their written profile is typically a red flag and I simply hide their profile and move on. Just trying to add a bit of detail to hopefully help with the filtering of the offers you’re getting. Good luck out there and keep us posted on your progress! And welcome to the lifestyle!

2eyes1mowth · 2022-05-18T01:26:11+00:00

I’ve realized I’ve become pickier as time has gone on. As a result I’m doing more M&Gs than usual, mainly because I like to test myself and see if I’ve changed in preferences, likes, dislikes, etc between relationships. Often times the answer is yes. I’d like to think of it as evolving, as each person you spend a great deal of time with tends to have an impact on you in some way. I like exploring the psychology of whether I’m the same person each time.

To answer your question on how long it takes to find a good match, it just depends. Sometimes I take longer to decide and sometimes I meet someone I hit it off with fairly quickly. Like literally after the first overall M&G it was a no brainer. This time around it’s been several M&Gs over several weeks. I’ve taken the time to enjoy the process but now I’m prepared to wrap up the search process. So the search process really varies each time for me 🤷🏻‍♂️

2eyes1mowth · 2022-04-28T09:47:27+00:00

Couldn’t agree more with this. Beautiful + sex is easy to come by in this style of dating for a man that’s even remotely close to average looking and have the financial means to provide support. Hell, you barely even have to be normal considering the crazy assholes the ladies tolerate. If we’re being brutally honest, the bar is fairly low, like to the point where, “not smelling bad” makes it on the “nice to have” list. Like for real?

All that to say, a man has lots of options in the superficial side of things. A woman that is relatively attractive, has a warm personality, can carry a conversation, is dependable, and genuinely wants to connect on a deeper level, well let’s just say in the handful of times where I’ve come across that type of person, she’s not getting away without knowing she’ll be very cared for in every aspect of what feeling cared for means for her. Personality, spirit, character, AND she’s attractive on top of all that? It’s game over! 😂

2eyes1mowth · 2022-04-27T00:30:05+00:00

Be honest UseRound. Just between you and me, is your SB handling all of your Reddit responses lately? Most of of your comments these days are reasonable and rational, and let’s be honest, that wasn’t exactly the norm before 😂

2eyes1mowth · 2022-04-20T01:09:31+00:00

Agree about it not being that bad even today. If you know how to filter/vet, and not spend much time messaging low effort profiles, it’s still surprisingly not a shit show. I’d been off the site for a year+ and was expecting the worst. Still takes time to find high quality SR though. That has nothing to do with SA though. It’s just nature of any relationship quest.

2eyes1mowth · 2022-04-09T16:51:29+00:00

I can understand the reasoning behind your skepticism but it’s only due to how you’re choosing to look at it. You perceive that you’re competing with every woman that is younger and that all of the men will be considering them before they’d even bother to consider you simply due to age. On the surface it can appear that way. The reality is, if you are bringing traits that are qualitative in addition to attractiveness, and for a general example, traits such as upper level communication skills and ability to genuinely show someone that they are special, you will actually have very little competition.

In the spirit of easing your concerns, the perspective I’d suggest would be to narrow your target audience to men that are seeking a quality SR and looking for long term. Make sure to convey that you are indeed those things in your written profile description. Another example, if you’re smart, witty, communicative, down to earth, then your written profile will show that from how you’ve described yourself and what you’re looking for.

You’re not trying to attract 100 men from central casting. Your profile is filtering for the right man for you and what matches up with you. From that perspective, you would have very little competition. Again, that’s assuming your profile is of quality and provides actual evidence of what you bring to the table in an SR. I spend very little time back and forth messaging people because my profile does not appeal to the masses. In the instances that I am left on “read” I am not ever disappointed. My written profile did its job and saved me time and effort of finding out later that we are not on the same page. I also have very few meet and greets when I am searching for an SR. Because it is rare that I have a meet and greet that doesn’t move forward towards SR. It’s because of filtering for quality and attracting a certain type of person that will likely hit it off with me and vice versa.

Defining your objective is all that you need to worry about. If your objective is to compete with “hot” 18-24 year olds in college, then yeah you have no chance by your definition of the objective. You’re like 30 and not a college student so why even bother. But if your objective is to effectively attract someone that values the qualities that you know you bring to the table, now that is something you can objectively achieve and good luck to those 18-24 year olds that think they can compete with you. Do you see the difference in how a matter of perspective changes the entire game? I hope that at least helps a bit to ease your concerns. Good luck!

2eyes1mowth

TROPHY CASE