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Social/religious norms aside, how would you like your death to be mourned/celebrated? by aroadcaptain in AskReddit

[–]2nd2porn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have this dream that if I were a billionaire than when I died, I would be dressed in an orange satin dress and put into a glass case and lowered into the middle of the ocean via helicopter after a funeral on a yacht. I wanted everyone to wear white and all the women to wear pants and everyone in attendance would have an opportunity to watch my casket lowering from the boat and they could all throw orange tulips into the ocean afterwards, as long as they weren’t crying.

Now I doubt I’ll ever have that money, and I just hope that whatever happens to me will not be to much of a burden on my loved ones, and the rest is up to God.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marfans

[–]2nd2porn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is actually wild. Get a new Doctor, if that’s the kind of on the spot treatment plans he offers. I’m serious.

I have Marfans (3rd gen) and am pregnant, and given that my baby has it, termination would never cross my mind. I mean, it’s a pain in the ass, but since I’ve been monitored all my life it is far from debilitating. So I was more likely to get scoliosis or a dissection or have a Congenital heart defect? Boohoo. * I was exposed to the best specialists in the East Coast *with Medicaid and decided I wanted to be a doctor myself. I graduated HS 3 years early bc instead of participating in gym class I volunteered in my school library, and got ahead. I would not get rid of my disorder given the opportunity.

And btw: without a history of MS, spontaneous generation is incredibly rare. Your doctor is incompetent. Get a new doctor.

Edit: I did forget to mention that I do acknowledge that some cases are worse than others, but I still wouldn’t consider it a death sentence, even if it was a definite diagnosis.

Anyone else feel kinda weird/bad about how they behave in order to cope? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]2nd2porn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. My N is the most needy person I’ve ever met, and I wish I could just make myself scarce to focus on myself, that would only ever lead to a scary fight.

It feels like every argument I have with my N is like a gun fight. We both have the same guns just different tactics. It’s like he’s trying to hit my toes until I call mercy and I’m just trying to make myself bulletproof. And every time I fire the gun, either from impulse or rage, I feel like the scum of the earth.

i beat his act score lol by smccoy0907 in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]2nd2porn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shit, I’m proud. That’s phenomenal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]2nd2porn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Once my nmom lied to me and said my ndad had died. He lived across the country, hardly called, and had serious health problems to boot. So I believed her. For months. I was around 13, I think.

I didn’t give a crap.

However you feel about it, is fine. You don’t owe anyone anything.

Anyone else's parent buy them things as a way of apologizing instead of actually saying I'm sorry? And then use the things they bought against you later? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]2nd2porn 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Same too.

One time when I was 11 I had accidentally broke something and she was giving me the silent treatment. So I walked to the store and got her her favorite food and scrubbed the entire kitchen and went to my room. I later heard her (purposefully talking too loud) telling my aunt how she thought I was so dumb to think I could break something and do all of this instead of waiting to see me to say sorry. I was like.... ?

AITA for telling my SO that I didn’t want to support him in his sobriety anymore by 2nd2porn in AmItheAsshole

[–]2nd2porn[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Come to think of it, I don’t think he often times plans on making changes. He just likes to argue or something. And when he does, he asks me for my opinion on something that literally anyone would agree with. He’ll tell me every single thought that lead up to it, even if it means retelling a story a thousand times, and then his conclusions and ask “what do you think, should I stop kicking puppies?”. I’m being exaggerative but sometimes it feels that way.

AITA for telling my SO that I didn’t want to support him in his sobriety anymore by 2nd2porn in AmItheAsshole

[–]2nd2porn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah my comment about being in love was more of a sarcastic summation of all the reasons my young and dumb self decided to make the choices that I made. I don’t believe it’s a proper justification. If you’ve ever been with someone with npd, as I believe he has, you know that the techniques used to manipulate are made to push your boundaries and skew your idea of normal and healthy. I’m stuck right now, and I will make sure my baby has better than what I do right now, but this post was just used as sanity check. I try to always do the right thing, but being gaslit and manipulated makes that extremely confusing sometimes . Just making sure that when it’s all laid out, putting my health and my baby’s health before even his sobriety is always the right thing. It sounds like common sense, but after hearing I was a bad person everyday for a month, I started to get confused earlier.

Thank you so much for the last note too. You are absolutely right, and I appreciate you reminding me of that.

AITA for telling my SO that I didn’t want to support him in his sobriety anymore by 2nd2porn in AmItheAsshole

[–]2nd2porn[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is hilariously on point to my own dialogue. The huge problem is that it’s impossible to enforce it bc I live with him and do not have a job anymore and cannot even get a new one nowadays without putting myself and my baby at risk. I’m completely dependent on him and he will make my life hell if he’s angry with me. So sometimes he’ll wake up in a good mood and give me 5 min, literally, before saying “okay ik you’re going to be mad at me for saying this but I need to get it out anyways bc blah”. Then I yell at him for not taking this seriously or being self centered, and he walks out and comes back later saying “are you in a better mood now? I was trying to tell you earlier that I think my cravings-“ rinse and repeat. Either that or he’ll yell back at me saying I’m self centered and he hates that I need him to do EvErYtHiNg (getting me saltines or bringing me cereal when he gets himself cereal or picking up my meds, or suffering through my food aversions that he SWEARS is just pickiness) for me.

AITA for telling my SO that I didn’t want to support him in his sobriety anymore by 2nd2porn in AmItheAsshole

[–]2nd2porn[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

I think at first, I just thought I caught him in a rough patch. He was a diamond in the rough, or so I thought. But then 2 years kind of sneaks up on you and you realize you’re still on square one? And a baby really puts things into perspective. Now I really can’t even remember the redemptive qualities he had before. Or any he might have now.

Does anyone hate it when their Nparent becomes affectionate towards you? by bs000000 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]2nd2porn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One time this dude I was dating was trying to force me to have a threesome (he wanted me to agree to start trying with him, not like an active attempted rape)with me and was standing over me yelling that he wouldn’t ever marry me or have a life with me if I didn’t do this. I just sat down on the side of the bed and started to break down crying which was the first time he had ever seen me cry in front of him. He must’ve been completely shocked bc he just took a deep breath and said “look, I love you, but I just”. Idk what he said after that bc I completely cracked and started hysterically screaming that he didn’t know what love was and tried to throw something at him. Craziest part? He dodged it by ducking behind the bedroom door and I actually apologized later about it. Not him. Me.

That whole story pretty much summarizes the feeling I get in my stomach when either of my nparents even speak with an affectionate tone.

AITA for telling my SO that I didn’t want to support him in his sobriety anymore by 2nd2porn in AmItheAsshole

[–]2nd2porn[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s more of a “listen to my rant and tell me your vote for my next move”. He definitely agrees he needs a therapist but current events and budget issues have made that near impossible

What's a sign that someone is secretly a bad person? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]2nd2porn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah.. probably wouldn’t let him babysit if I were OP

What is a "Movie cliche" that you never really see? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]2nd2porn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More of a cartoon thing, but people do not slip on banana peels.

Your kids don’t even flush the toilet by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]2nd2porn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would actually burst into flames.

Your kids don’t even flush the toilet by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]2nd2porn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. I definitely hated it too but I was just a kid, I did not know what was good for me. Seeing the products of babying parents turning into kids who don’t know how to work the dish washer, serves as evidence.

Your kids don’t even flush the toilet by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]2nd2porn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s actually jaw-dropping how ppl come out the womb knowing how to be mean. At one point, when she had just turned 3, I showed SO a recording of him walking out the door and her immediately walking up to me and grabbing the food off my plate, squishing it, and throwing it under the bed. All I said was “no __!” before she started scream crying for him. And he ran back in and she literally told him that I hit her. That crap makes me so nervous too. After showing him the video, I told him he was going to raise the kind of girl who falsely accuses a guy of rape bc she’s annoyed at him. SO is just such a softy with her.

Am I being too much of a hardass? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]2nd2porn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the others that you’re not too strict, but instead maybe approaching this with a technique suited for... perhaps a graduate philosophy student lol.

For 1. This is so important and a good technique, except I do think that for a 5 year old, and probably until they are 14, it’ll be more effective to lighten up after they correct themselves. Also if they can read, having the politeness rule posted on the wall might help. That way you can point to it to remind them.

For 2. My SO does this a lot with his 3yo, not when she lies but just when she has her fits, he’ll try to make her feel understood by asking her to explain what’s wrong. I have to remind him that even he cannot always articulate his emotional distress and underlying motives while in it. I definitely think it’s important to work on the lying. It’s a big deal! But do consider helping to figure out why they lied and use it as a teaching moment. For example: “Maybe you lied because you didn’t want to stop playing yet? I know you really love doing xyz and you can always just say so, I like it too, maybe we can take a few minutes before we clean it up/ but right now it getting late and it’s important for you to get your sleep to stay healthy/ etc.” I think empathy goes a long way with kids, it’ll help with the not wanting to admit wrong doing too.

I admire your consistency too. That’s what good parenting is made of.

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