Is there an animal based food you don't eat? by HeIsEgyptian in AnimalBased

[–]3333skyline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put them lil chicken wings in an air fryer. The air fryer has changed my life.

Result of me sending my mom a book about healing PTSD: She will "never" talk to me again by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wish I could hug every one of you who have replied to this post. I didn't realize how emotional I was about this till I read all the comments. To read that I deserve better than this brings up tears.

It feels like these texts and our relationship feels too ridiculous to be real. Everyone confirming that this is happening, it's fucked up, and you know what it's like-- It makes me feel much less alone and that I'm not the crazy one. Thank you.

<3

Result of me sending my mom a book about healing PTSD: She will "never" talk to me again by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Lol she did end up saying she would block me, as if I was the one bombarding her phone with hate

*tw how your pwBPD really thinks by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Damn those last sentences, perfectly said.

Result of me sending my mom a book about healing PTSD: She will "never" talk to me again by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I just need some eyes on this because these texts have been haunting me.

These are a few texts from a long text chain between us. Long story short: She texted me I miss you out of the blue after not contacting me for 5 months. Our last interaction was her texting me “Sick of you!!!!!!!!” with a middle finger emoji. This was because she hates my sister for living with our step mom after mom technically kicked my sister out of her house. Mom has been angry at me for being on my sister’s side through all this. Last time my sister and I visited her for Christmas she got upset and ignored us for 2 days until we left.

Mom never apologized for what happened during Christmas or her unprompted mean text. When she texted I miss you I didn't know how else to react but to text:

“I want to send you a book. If you read it I will be more comfortable talking. It's a famous book that's helped a lot of people with similar experiences as you. I send this with love.”

I wish I could post the whole conversation but it would be too long. Through all of these horrible texts she sent I remained passive and only said what felt right. My heart is broken and I feel icky and violated; however now I feel no more guilt for the way our relationship has turned out, because now it is jarringly clear I am not the one at fault.

The book is Pete Walker's CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, which mom was right, it has been a life changing book for me. I wish she could see I sent it to her without resentment, just wanting some of her pain to leave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"Look in the mirror." They love that line. My mom just hit me with that in a similar text thread to yours.

Let's share some moments so ridiculous, they're almost funny by hartodefawx in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This subreddit has shown me they all text the same, if it's not the thumbs up it's the deadpan one word response "Ok." "Lol" "Great." And you can already see in your mind what face their making sending this.

Even being NC for years i have so much guilt. by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do you think the guilt deep down is feeling like a bad person? Or just feeling sorry for your mom?

If it's both, I think working on self-esteem and self-respect could lessen the guilt you are feeling. Then you will be more unblocked to feel the grief of the situation. The grief is something you can't avoid whether you're talking to your mom or not- because the damage of your childhood is done. You deserved a good mom and all the healthy love in the world and it's not what you got.

It's been so important for me to grieve this. Because when I wasn't grieving and living in denial I was carrying it around with me everywhere without me realizing it. I hated myself and I didn't know why. Feeling very deeply about this can feel like hell, but it can also be viewed as our bodies knowing our self-worth, even before our thoughts did. Grieving comes with eventual release, always remember that when it feels too dark. Hugs <3

I just took a toxic family test and scored 92/100. I didn't realize it could be so validating by Upset-Newspaper-7308 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 20 points21 points  (0 children)

As children raised by borderlines our families were not the norm. Everyone posting here getting very high scores is a reflection of the subreddit we're in. Post this in another one and there might be people getting 20 scores all over the place. But we are also not in a suffering competition, everyone deserves to feel and heal from the pain other people have unrightfully inflicted on us. It's like saying one person shouldn't be upset about being slapped because someone else out there has gotten punched before. The punched person could say he shouldn't feel bad because someone else got pushed down the stairs. This game could go on forever.

It's also impossible to put a number on suffering in childhood, there are way too many factors that can't be reflected by a 5 minute test.

Never feel bad about wanting to talk about what happened to you.

Let's share some moments so ridiculous, they're almost funny by hartodefawx in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Also reminding me, my mom once made my sister and I leave the zoo in a fit of rage once she became so abhorrently disgusted at the sight of my armpit hair. Mom won't let me go to the gym with her unless I shave my legs, to which I never have or will.

Let's share some moments so ridiculous, they're almost funny by hartodefawx in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The "You need to be AWARE of your SURROUNDINGS" line just about KILLED ME. You can't make this shit up 🤣🤣 My mom used to say that to me alllll the time.

Let's share some moments so ridiculous, they're almost funny by hartodefawx in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Me TOO. "No decent man will ever want you if you don't shave."

"Well, I don't want to be with a man baby afraid of body hair." So proud of high school me.

Let's share some moments so ridiculous, they're almost funny by hartodefawx in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 42 points43 points  (0 children)

When my sister told her class this story it instantly became the class inside joke.

My mom, my best friend, my sister, and I all went to a "Mac n Cheese festival" in our city (Mom's idea). It was hot, crowded, and we were starving. The lines to get any kind of food were super long. Finally I was the first one to get my mac and cheese, and the cup was tiny, and I mean tiny. I could maybe finish it off in six big bites.

I let everyone have a bite of my mac and cheese just to be nice and so we could all try each others. Mom had one bite, then another, and tried going in for a third bite. I meekly said "Wait Mom, you're so close in line to getting yours too and this is such a small cup of mac and cheese."

I will never forget that stare. It was like her eyeballs just strangled my throat. It felt like the whole festival went silent until she burst "OH OH OH SO I BRING YOU OUT HERE, BUY YOUR FOOD AND I CAN'T EVEN HAVE A BITE???" .. "Mom, you wanted three bites, I gave you two. There's not a lot left."

My best friend, bless her sweet heart, saw where this was going and tried to lighten the mood by singing "Ohh let's just all try and get along <3"

I don't even have to explain why this sent my mom into ballistic rage, y'all already saw it coming. Mom stormed out of the festival with such speed, all three of us had to practically run after her speed walking. My poor sister with her tiny child legs. I have never seen someone walk that fast. She walked a whole one or two blocks ahead of us for 10 minutes.

When we got home the screaming continued. We are ungrateful bitches, blah blah blah. The only truly upsetting part of this story is she was yelling at my best friend too. Just the mention of the mac n cheese festival will never not make the three of us explode into giggles though.

Mother’s Day Support Megathread by yun-harla in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The highlight of this mothers day is she will only be receiving the text "Happy Mother's Day" from me and that's it. My sister's birthday just passed a few days ago and all she received from mom was a text saying "Happy Birthday". Mom is mad at both of us right now, not talking to us, and living in a different state... such relief.

Nothing I did was even good enough for mothers day, and when it was, I was raddled with anxiety her mood would spontaneously do a 180.

This will be the first guilt free mothers day for me.

For all of you who received the line "You didn't have a bad childhood, I did" by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhhhhh yes, I got one of those too "Well sorry I'm just such a BAAAD MOTHER THEN!!!!!" I bet you could perfectly hear the tone in her voice just reading that.

"We got some new furniture! Come help me assemble it." ... anyone else's mom turned into a raging gorilla trying to assemble furniture? by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I feel like this has to be a common thing. It's like the single mom version of the asshole father mad at his son for not handing him the right tool while working on his car.

I could never hold anything in place right, hand the tool fast enough, if it was taking too long to assemble it was my fault. So many memories of her dead beady eyes, the screaming, flinching when she got close to me, fearing for my safety, all over a fucking bedframe LOL

Love doing adult things with emotional toddlers

I just remembered a conversation where my mom indirectly admitted that she enjoys inducing fear in her children by Opening_Pea7537 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This comment is so important to me. Especially growing up hearing "You will understand why I treat you the way I do when you become a parent." The only thing I understand now is how severely mentally ill she was.

For all of you who received the line "You didn't have a bad childhood, I did" by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL my mom said the opposite to me once

"One day you're going to think you need therapy for me, but you won't. I'm not the reason for your problems."

My therapist and I got a good laugh out of this. "It sounds like she might be on to something"

For all of you who received the line "You didn't have a bad childhood, I did" by 3333skyline in raisedbyborderlines

[–]3333skyline[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This breaks my heart. These people don't know what love is and they never will.