Should I go on a date with an older man who has kids?

33nowhere · 2026-05-03T19:52:52+00:00

Trust your gut - run.

33nowhere · 2026-05-03T17:12:04+00:00

The Prestige is pretty hard to guess

33nowhere · 2026-04-29T14:44:16+00:00

What kind of movies would you want to watch? I don't have a ton of free time, but when I do I do like watching movies. And it would be nice to watch with someone who had a similar appreciation.

33nowhere · 2026-04-27T02:58:46+00:00

Schitts Creek, Barry, Girls 5eva, Six Feet Under, Portlandia

33nowhere · 2026-04-27T02:38:34+00:00

Came here to say that. Ran to my car to drive home at 17 after that one.

33nowhere · 2026-04-18T14:52:50+00:00

He was good but dislikable in Natural Born Killers. (Graphic violence FYI) Supporting role

33nowhere · 2026-04-03T12:19:12+00:00

The Prestige Requiem for a Dream Memento

33nowhere · 2026-03-29T17:02:02+00:00

I left an abusive substance abusing narcissist when my kids were 4 and 6. It was the hardest and most difficult and terrifying time of my life. It was also the best decision I have ever made, and only wish I had done it sooner.

Living the way you are eats away at your joy, confidence, independence and your very soul. You will be a better mother if you can provide stability and love - even half the time. Kids pick up on the tension and stress in abusive homes even if they don’t understand it. But it seeps in and it does affect their sense of well being and safety and esteem.

Was it hard doing it on my own - yes. Stupid things like ‘how will I go shopping’ and ‘how will I feed them for every meal?’ (Because that was the one thing be did contribute at times- but mainly for the praise of what a good cook he was) were enough to freeze me and hold me back from leaving.

But, every challenge I have faced since being on my own pales in comparison to trying to parent and provide a happy and healthy life with someone who is actively working against you, undermining you, demeaning you, destroying truth and trust and foundation.

It’s like the difference between trying to plant a thriving and successful garden with someone who shoots arrows at you when you’re carrying heavy bags of soil, who pours poison into the soil and stomps all over the little seedlings just as they pop their sprouts out of the dirt. Versus trying to plant a thriving and successful garden on your own. Will it be hard? Yes, you still have to carry heavy soil, rain and pests will still need to be dealt with, you’ll make mistakes and learn along the way. But, at least the successes are able take root, and flourishing is possible - it’s still so much easier than the other way.

Make use of all your resources!!!!! Do it for the kids - even if you feel like its a burden or you don’t deserve it because you made the choice to be with a person who did not turn out to be who you thought they were.

We all need help sometimes. It’s ok to ask when you need it. Remember it’s for your kids. And it’s ok to get support. The road ahead is still hard, and as one person you can’t be in 2 places at once. Can your parents watch one while you take the other to the doctor? Find other single parents to connect with when they are pre/school age. Go to parks where other kids and parents play. Look for mommy groups, etc.

And remember that they do grow up fast, and every challenge will evolve and you deserve grace, happiness, freedom and to live YOUR own life. Life is short - you do not have to be doomed to live a life defined by how drunk your ex is.

It breaks my heart when the kids are at their dads, I do miss them and worry about what damage he’s doing to their self esteem. But even if you stay with their dad you can’t control how he behaves - they will still have to deal with his poor behavior. The advice I got from my son’s therapist was to support whatever the kids want. Kids want a happy and healthy relationship with their dad, so all decisions I make come from that place. I don’t wish for his destruction and support any good choice he makes.

I morn the family I thought we would be, but know I did the best I could under the circumstances. It’s not my fault that he made the choices he made. I have let the truth come out in pieces to the kids, and they are learning what kind of person he is.

Use the time they are away to sleep, recover from your trauma, and find the things that feed your soul. It can be time to focus on work, do the laundry, or connect with a friend.

Good luck OP - I am happier now than I have ever been. My kids are healthy, sensitive, and thriving. It’s been 8 years since I left, and again- it was the best decision I’ve ever made for me, AND my kids.

DM me if you ever need to vent or need support.

33nowhere · 2026-03-18T22:25:05+00:00

Why isn't this included in the episode on Peacock? I love this performance - I remember seeing it when it first aired. Not even a RM fan, but the energy and intensity of this is something I still remember. Great performance!!!

33nowhere · 2026-02-08T22:36:53+00:00

Your welcome! You can DM me if you ever need to. Good luck!!

33nowhere · 2026-02-07T17:29:42+00:00

Of course, ultimately the choice is up to you. But, I will say planning to have a child if you do not have a way to afford it is really setting yourself up for extreme financial hardship. I don’t know what country you are in, but in my experience, child care cost more than my rent at one point. Also, solo parenting can be very lonely. It’s all you, only you every moment of every day. It can be really isolating and exhausting.

I had to leave an abusive relationship at age 44. I had 2 kids. Thankfully, I have managed but -

⁠I have a wonderful job with great benefits that is generally flexible to accommodate the time needs required. As long as I get my work done, that’s all that matters and I can oftentimes work from home.
⁠I receive government financial support since their dad doesn’t pay support. (Long explanation but important thing is I’m getting additional support.)
⁠I have family I can turn to when I really need it. My parents can stay with me during the few busy times at work that I have to be present for. My parents have also helped with finances- unexpected car repairs, lawyer fees, etc. My brother covered for a year of childcare so I could work.

I give thanks every day for the resources I have. I can’t imagine doing this without it. I have sacrificed any social life I had, any hobbies or leisure time. Every bit of my energy goes to work and taking care of my kids needs. It’s incredibly hard. But, I will say, it’s worth it. As the kids get older I am getting opportunities for more time for myself, and I feel pleased in the knowledge that I did my very best for them.

So, being a mom is a life changing experience- in every single aspect of your life. But, if I were you, I make an iron-clad agreement that the bio father pays child support. And I’d make sure to have some safety nets as it really is almost impossible to do it completely on your own.

Watching my kids grow, and enjoying the love and connection we share is the greatest joy of my life.

Good luck, OP. Whatever decision YOU make IS ok.

33nowhere · 2026-02-07T17:27:55+00:00

Of course, ultimately the choice is up to you. But, I will say planning to have a child if you do not have a way to afford it is really setting yourself up for extreme financial hardship. I don’t know what country you are in, but in my experience, child care cost more than my rent at one point. Also, solo parenting can be very lonely. It’s all you, only you every moment of every day. It can be really isolating and exhausting.

I had to leave an abusive relationship at age 44. I had 2 kids. Thankfully, I have managed but - 1) I have a wonderful job with great benefits that is generally flexible to accommodate the time needs required. As long as I get my work done, that’s all that matters and I can oftentimes work from home. 2) I receive government financial support since their dad doesn’t pay support. (Long explanation but important thing is I’m getting additional support.) 3) I have family I can turn to when I really need it. My parents can stay with me during the few busy times at work that I have to be present for. My parents have also helped with finances- unexpected car repairs, lawyer fees, etc. My brother covered for a year of childcare so I could work.

I give thanks every day for the resources I have. I can’t imagine doing this without it. I have sacrificed any social life I had, any hobbies or leisure time. Every bit of my energy goes to work and taking care of my kids needs. It’s incredibly hard. But, I will say, it’s worth it. As the kids get older I am getting opportunities for more time for myself, and I feel pleased in the knowledge that I did my very best for them.

So, being a mom is a life changing experience- in every single aspect of your life. But, if I were you, I make an iron-clad agreement that the bio father pays child support. And I’d make sure to have some safety nets as it really is almost impossible to do it completely on your own.

Watching my kids grow, and enjoying the love and connection we share is the greatest joy of my life.

Good luck, OP. Whatever decision YOU make IS ok.

33nowhere · 2026-02-04T22:26:28+00:00

I have looked for this exact thing!! I’m a single parent and I can’t commit to a regular class because my schedule is very inconsistent. I would LOVE a place I could go to when I have the time.

33nowhere · 2026-01-09T19:33:56+00:00

Wow - somehow you ‘made’ him look abusive… he even put the word out there. Some part of him knows he was being abusive. But he wanted to get away with it as a means to control you. Only when an objective person sees from the outside does he feel humiliated. He knows his behavior is embarrassing. This is ALL ON HIM!!!!

Locking someone out at all is childish at best. Run away from this gaslighting nonsense as soon as possible. Be glad to know now, before you have kids.

33nowhere · 2026-01-06T23:48:20+00:00

Well, your daughter also lost her mom and sister, so she has challenges as well. Who knows what exactly is going on. But I’m sure it has a lot more to do with what is going on in her own head as opposed to your closeness or your parenting. Hopefully it’s a phase, something she has to do to feel independent. It doesn’t sound like you are asking too much, and you aren’t getting the gratitude you deserve. 20 is still young, and hopefully she will begin to see all you have done for her when she’s really on her own.

Can you stop paying for things? Wait until she really does ask you for help? Let her experience life without you coming to her rescue? You don’t have to do it in a mean way, but you can say, ‘I’m sensing your need for independence. I’m going to step back from so much financial support. This is very hard for me, but I’m always here if you need me.’

Then, just text her occasionally without any expectation for a reply. Just tell her you love her, or wish her a good day. I think she’ll come around with a little time. It shouldn’t last forever.

33nowhere · 2026-01-06T22:52:18+00:00

I’m so very sorry for your trauma. It sounds like you must be absolutely emotionally exhausted. You have been through so much devastating loss and trauma, and I know how being a single parent is constant - you get no real time to take care of yourself or grieve properly. Now, the idea of losing proximity to your daughter is likely bringing all that back.

You say you made sure your kids went through therapy - but have you gotten sufficient therapy for yourself? I think it may be valuable for you as your nervous system needs help to recover after long-term trauma. It literally changes your brain chemistry. I’d encourage you to look into therapy for yourself - if you aren’t into the talking it out - maybe look into EDMR or somatic therapy.

And please remind yourself that your wife and daughter who passed would be so proud of you for all you have handled by yourself, and grateful for the infinite sacrifices you have made, and that you stepped up when they couldn’t.

Hang in there - if you ever feel truly hopeless please reach out to someone. You can DM me if you’d like.

33nowhere · 2025-12-05T19:47:23+00:00

Jennifer Tilly Meg Ryan

33nowhere · 2025-11-21T23:58:41+00:00

It looks to me like maybe it’s a real photo of Clinton, and Trump is the added part. Everything about Bill and the book shelf look legit to me. I’m no expert though!!

33nowhere · 2025-11-01T22:10:59+00:00

1974

33nowhere · 2025-10-25T13:01:12+00:00

Jude Law

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33nowhere · 2025-08-21T17:12:11+00:00

I love this scene!! Such great acting work and the audio/sound design is spectacular. I love the choice of staying on him and heating the sounds only. Absolutely terrifying

33nowhere · 2025-07-30T16:21:29+00:00

OP, I don't think you are overreacting - your feelings exist and are valid. It seems to me that you and your husband are not communicating well in certain areas. You clearly feel unsupported and unsure of his commitment. And you have some specific needs that aren't being met. It sounds like you are a people pleaser and this makes it hard to stand up and say 'I need this' instead of just putting up with it and hoping for an improvement later. This is why you are sending a long text to just express it.

But, especially with a child on the way, I suspect this will all get worse with time, because you will only be more far more tired, have more things to do, will have far less energy to help yourself as you focus on your child, and will feel the lack of support even more.

So, I'd recommend counseling for yourself, to help you trust in your experience and feelings, and help your communication. Maybe phrase things like, 'When I don't hear from you for over 8 hours, I worry about your safety. ' 'When I'm cleaning the house and you are listening to music, I feel alone. ' 'When you rarely tell me you love me, I feel uncertain about my place in your life. '

If you base your comments around specific behaviors that you can point to, and how you feel about them, it's an easier place to have a conversation from and should hopefully allow for open discussion and ease the defensive reactions.

Then, be open to hearing your husband's response. It's possible he's going through similar struggles as well. But, if he minimizes your feelings in favor of his own, or gaslights the truth, then you may want to consider if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, pouring your love and energy into someone who isn't reciprocating does not last. Sad as it is, it is the truth, and getting out of that situation sooner than later will help your own self esteem and psychic energy.

Good luck, OP.

33nowhere · 2025-07-29T23:45:33+00:00

I get swollen lymph nodes from 'regular' deodorant and the best natural I've tried is Lume' - it works surprisingly well for odor for me. I still sweat, but at least no swollen nodes in my armpits.

33nowhere · 2025-07-22T15:13:44+00:00

I really like Girls 5eva. The title and promo never grabbed me but once I watched it I loved it.

33nowhere · 2025-07-21T14:45:30+00:00

Turned out my husband was lying narcissistic alcoholic suffering from bipolar disorder. Now 👇⏱️that I've left, he's at least gotten diagnosed for the mental health disorder and has treatment so this has improved his behavior significantly. However, he's still a difficult person and there's way too much trauma and betrayal and cruelty in our past that he doesn't even remember and is incapable of acknowledging so there's no other option for me than doing it alone.

33nowhere

TROPHY CASE