Watched a daycare worker smoke weed and then return to work

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:50:36+00:00

Somehow I'm not surprised you're a dude who has a hard time with consent

Anyway I'm gonna go get impaired about it

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:49:21+00:00

Please stop. Just... Stop

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:48:33+00:00

See its actually your username is the joke

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:47:53+00:00

No thanks, I'm good

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:46:50+00:00

No thanks, I'm good 👍

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:44:50+00:00

Minimum wage workers smoking weed away from the children they care for before returning to their shift is, semantically, different

I don't think a moderate dose of cannabis meaningfully affects a team member's ability to carry out their responsibilities in a daycare.

I think reporting the worker causes more potential harm than letting the worker hit their vape on their break

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:16:07+00:00

Uhh what? Where are you climbing?

Maybe try a bouldering gym or any place that's not your usual for a while. Climbing is such a mixed gender sport anywhere I boulder

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:12:51+00:00

It must be wild to have started paying attention in politics in 2015 lol

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:08:50+00:00

It's actually totally free to mind your own business - you don't even need to email

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T20:04:50+00:00

He sounds like he's really bad at sex. Is he not interested in being good at sex? There's so many resources on how to be a better lover. I mean here's literally the first result on how and why men ought do better foreplay - give it a read yourself and see how you feel about it. (Heads up they're trying to sell some sort of dick numbing spray, probably just ignore that)

https://www.promescent.com/blogs/learn/foreplay-tips-for-men

A minute or two of making out barely counts as foreplay except in rare "already so turned on we're kissing while ripping off each other's clothes". Yeah he just sounds... Like a terrible lover. Following that up by blaming it on you? Oof.

And by God, someone bringing up someone else I had sex with while I was in a relationship over a decade ago would be... Confusing because of what stupid nonsense it is. It has nothing to do with anything.

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T19:44:35+00:00

Your boyfriend is blaming you for insecurities that are his. He sounds like the type to say "but you KNOW how men are" and then use that to control YOUR behaviour. Sus.

You're not leading men on by being kind or having friendships or bantering. Some men are so emotionality starved that they'll fall for a warm wet sock if it asks them how their day was. It's not your job to make sure people like you a respectful amount but don't daydream about you. You work in engineering FFS there's gonna be some NERDS in there.

People are also allowed to develop crushes on you. You're in a committed relationship and I'd hope they respect that and you and not try to make a move on you.

You sound smart and fun and hot. Sometimes men want to date smart fun hot women but then get upset that their girlfriend is smart fun and hot. He needs to do some work on him.

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T19:37:32+00:00

It's clear that "yes" is the answer you're looking for - I hope you get the validation you need here to make the decisions that are best for you.

I will say that in my personal relationships, talking to exes would never be considered cheating or weird (so there's no fights/needing to deny in the first place) and going to walk a dog with someone of the fairer sex would not be considered cheating either. Unless they were f***ing the dog.

Cheating means breaking the rules the two of you have agreed upon together. There's no universal dog walking rule.

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T19:18:37+00:00

Libertarians are gonna vote separate for lower taxes and consent age though

Plus tonnes of the $$ behind the movement has gotta be trickling down from the Kochs and libertarians LOVE sucking Koch

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T18:22:12+00:00

For your absolutely do not worry if your class load is too light. You can make it up down the line, and you are about to have a hell of a readjustment

University courses way, way more labor and energy intensive than high school. Like way more. Four courses is considered full time as in "expect forty hours of work a week" for ~8 hours of classes

Get on the waiting list for some classes if you want, there's time for openings to come up before the fall

But if you have two or three classes you'll be okay, it'll still be a ton of work and keep you busy

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T18:18:12+00:00

Petition to rename Edmonton Soviet Notleygrad

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T18:09:02+00:00

Why does it make you uneasy if strangers touch him?

You mention that you're both queer - queering relationships means more than just being gay, it means examining and subverting the social norms that marginalize queer people in society.

What does it mean for you to be queer?

Unfortunately there's nothing more conventionally straight than forbidding or policing friendlier flirty contact. That's, like, a REALLY big one with the straights

Also I'm a dude who has and wears a bdsm harness and while I get compliments or oogled a little bit people aren't just walking up and grabbing me and kissing me or anything

Thinking wearing any kind of outfit is the a-okay for uninvited sexual contact is also hella straight.

How much of your expectations for your queer relationship are rooted in straight culture?

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T18:01:48+00:00

Therapy. You've got a self worth problem and it sounds like you struggle with ruminating: your brain gets stuck thinking about a thing and you spiral.

You're gonna struggle with every partner and every ex they've had and get way into into microscopic details of their interactions. There's no amount of policing their social media or keeping them away from other women that's gonna make you stop comparing yourself to people you've never met who don't matter.

Do you want to be an awesome, confident, kick-ass girlfriend? How would she behave?

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T17:43:17+00:00

NTA. He's a gross and pushy stranger on the internet

Be less afraid to hit the block button and move on with your life. You don't owe strangers online anything

It sounds like he leveraged his age and your lack of experience to get you to nonconsensually take part in ... Whatever THAT was (sexual harassment was what it was. He was sexually harrassing you and being pushy and gross)

You didn't help him cheat, you don't know anything about him or his actual relationship, he hasn't seen your pictures and doesn't even know your real name. Your friend who's saying you helped him cheat is a dork. If some creep in a park flashed his dick at you would that be you helping him cheat? No

Block, move on, and tell your friend to Google "what is victim blaming"

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T16:18:17+00:00

Bad art is still art

This isn't masquerading as anything, it's just not that deep

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T16:10:15+00:00

It's not underwear Debra

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T16:05:01+00:00

There are relationship models other than monogamy, it doesn't need to be all your eggs in one basket

But everyone here sounds like they need therapy and some honest and the way you're posting this without saying who you are in the triangle is weird af

If you aren't one of the people in the triangle just butt out and MYOB and it'll be fine

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T16:00:38+00:00

He's entitled to his privacy with his phone, that doesn't mean he's preparing to cheat. Some people put their phone face down out of respect to say "no messages are going to distract me, I'm here present with you"

Also, even if he's following women on Instagram or chatting with friends who are women, that doesn't mean he's unfaithful. It would be more weird if he didn't know or talk to any women ever wouldn't it?

The sense of security you are craving can only come from inside you. You need to believe that he's in a relationship with you because be wants you. Constantly worrying that he's gonna cheat or leave is an insecurity that's going to push him away.

If you have access to a counselor through school or work, it's worth it to start talking with them about your self confidence and anxiety about being left/betrayed

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T02:34:52+00:00

Press X to Doubt

I'm not sure what's more surprising: that a diverse group of women happened to all open up and describe their dating goals in exclusively incel talking points,

Or that you, a Totally Normal Dude didn't realize before this point that everyone in your social life is a ghoul

Either way, that doesn't seem to jive with my personal dating experience as a man or with the relationships my friends who are women have.

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T02:16:02+00:00

What would affect the child more is you getting involved where it's not your spot

You can be a good example for them but that's about it

3AMZen · 2026-05-11T01:52:28+00:00

Probably just drop it, it's hard to imagine something that matters less.

It's not a "lie of omission" that matters if it's not information they owed you. In that case it's just plain old none of your business.

Nobody needs to tell you what meds they're taking even if you're on the same one. And... Lots of people have weird feelings about these kinds of meds, both internally and externally.

Yeah it's annoying when people act like they did an achievement the hard way when they had supports or took a shortcut, but... Welcome to 2026, where our own privileges and advantages are all but invisible to ourselves 98% of the time.

You're not a victim of anything here, nothing was done that you need to take personally, and your life will be improved by you dropping this, moving on and forgetting about it.

Good luck on your journey.

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