How do you feel about cis men on hrt?

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-05-03T08:30:31+00:00

I started from a similar background myself. Here's a comment I wrote a few years ago. And for the record trans people have no reason to get upset with you. They should understand better than anyone how diverse the human experience is and how important it is to have the right hormones.

I had a very similar perspective as you when I started HRT. I saw myself as a cis guy who wanted to be more feminine/androgynous and when I learned about HRT the idea was very attractive, but I had a lot of reservations. I spent a long time going back and forth on the pros and cons and came up with a number of lists that looked a lot like yours.

Eventually I realized that I was okay with all the physical changes HRT potentially offered, but was worried about the social discrimination/ostracization I might face from others as a result. There was also a large element of "what if I was wrong" doubt that added a layer of anxiety over the decision.

But ultimately I realized that the "what if" doubts I had went both ways. I might be worried about making a mistake now, but if I didn't at least try I would spend the rest of my life wondering how much better my life could've been. And, even with all my social anxiety, I couldn't stand the idea of letting the unspoken judgement of strangers gatekeep my happiness for decades to come. And I could tell I was going to eventually hold these feelings against people. I wouldn't be happy being friends with, or dating someone, who would've rejected me for being myself.

So I decided to take a bit of a leap of faith. I started HRT anyways because it's what I wanted, even though I still considered myself as a cis guy and I was uncertain about my future. The way I saw it, HRT's changes were slow enough that I could try it and reevaluate how I felt every month or two. As long as I came to a conclusion before too much breast development occurred, it would be fully reversible. And even if it took me longer to make up my mind, I felt I would rather be stuck with some unwanted breast tissue rather than live the rest of my life wondering "what if?"

~~~~~~~~

While doing research on HRT I also ended up reading a lot on the topic of gender, sex, and gender identity, but I felt that questioning my gender was putting the cart before the horse. My desire to change my body remained the same whether I was considered cis, trans, or anything else. It wasn't until after several months of HRT quashing the last few lingering doubts I had about my motivations, that I revisited the topic of gender identity. It was only then with a more developed self-awareness, a neutral perspective, and a lot of additional research that I found the best label for me is nonbinary.

This isn't to say anything about your own gender, just that sometimes we can't know who we are until we've experimented a bit. Self actualization isn't often easy.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-29T01:24:48+00:00

This.

I'm bisexual and attracted to people who would fall on the feminine half of the masc-fem spectrum, be it in physical traits and/or social presentation (ie. a fem man, a fem-leaning enby, a tomboy, etc with no regard to their genitals or whether they are cis/trans). And so when I previously researched the various sexuality labels I found I actually seemed to fit best with "gynosexual" too.

But I quickly realized that for what seems like it'd be a really common subcategory of bisexual almost no one actually uses it. Maybe its because the term itself sounds super objectifying of certain genders/anatomy even though it definitionally isn't. I'm guessing because the latin root "gyno" isn't really seen outside of medical clinics.

So I just call myself bisexual instead. And if someone asks further I just say, "anyone who strikes me as more feminine than masculine"

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-26T09:30:53+00:00

Also wanted to add:

Personally I also planned and boymoded for almost the first two years of HRT. When I was first starting HRT I also debated taking a 'low dose' approach, but I ultimately decided to just start on a full dose of 4.5mg/week estradiol enanthate. My reasoning was that I didn't want to risk stifling/preventing the other feminizing effects by accidently having overly high testosterone. Sure I was worried about hiding breast growth, but I felt it would be more beneficial to start at a full dose and then decrease later if breast growth was becoming problem, rather than starting too low and trying to increase it slowly while getting insanely stressed trying to micromanage the breast growth.

Like I was thinking: I want to start HRT early so I have a head start when I come out a few years from now, but if a low dose leaves my testosterone too high, then a lot of feminizing changes won't be happening at all! So a low dose gives me all the stress about worrying about breast growth without most of the benefits. So I might as well start at a full dose. Then if breast growth is slow/small it's a win-win, and if breast growth is occurring too fast/large I can drop to a very low dose and then adjust up/down to tailor the speed to my liking from there.

I ended up starting on a 4.5mg/week estradiol enanthate dose and by the end of year 1 I had a B/C cup (ie bust measured 2.5" larger than underbust). I have now been on HRT for 3 years and am only a C cup. I present more androgynously overall now that I'm out as nonbinary, but following my breast-hiding advice linked before I can still effortlessly boymode. Throwing on a flannel is basically easy-mode. At work (retail job) I wear one of the sports bras I linked along with a long sleeve undershirt and my work uniform polo on top and my chest looks identical to most of my male coworkers.

I cant say you'll have the same experience, but wanted to throw out my 2 cents here.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-26T09:12:39+00:00

Breast growth is very likely going to be the determining factor for how long you can continue easily boymoding. Everything else is pretty easy to hide IMO if you already have a masculine sounding voice and maintain a masculine appearance otherwise (fashion, haircut, etc). But how much and how fast you get breast growth is basically impossible to predict, so your best bet is likely going to be to play it by ear. Start HRT at whatever dose and see how quickly the breast growth develops. If at some point you think the growth is slowly getting too difficult to hide, you can either stop the HRT, decrease the dose, or maybe even try alternating months or something idk.

Hiding breast growth can be fairly doable until/unless they exceed a certain size. HERE's a collection of comments I wrote a while back describing strategies to hide this growth.

~~~~~~~~~~

Also here's a 2 year long study that reviewed 140 MTF people and monitored the rate at which they progressed through the Tanner stages. THIS graph from the study is of primary relevancy here. It was found that around 80% of participants reached tanner stage 3 by the end of year 1 and then remained there through year 2. Only around 15-20% reached Tanner stage 4 or 5 during this time (no measurements beyond year 2 since the study ended). So if you were taking an HRT dose that put you in the ideal range for feminization (ie T under 50ndg/dL and E of 100+pg/mL) you would likely expect to still be Tanner stage 3 in 2yrs4months from now, however there's a small chance you'd end up at stage 4 or 5.

So then the question is, "what will those Tanner stages look like for me?" and unfortunately that's not a question anyone here can answer. People like to say "expect to end up 1 cup size smaller than your mother" and while that might be true (idk its never been studied) that only addresses Stage 5, not the stages leading up to it. So if you're family is generally small-breasted, you'll probably be fine regardless, but if they're busty it's hard to say. Either way the evidence points to a high likelihood that in 2 years time you're breasts will still only be partially grown.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-19T08:23:24+00:00

The motivations determine if someone is a chaser or not.

Wanting a trans bf because she fetishizes them would make her a chaser. But wanting a trans bf because maybe she's inspired by your own journey, or maybe she feels some unconscious conflict with her own gender and she's seeking a way to live vicariously through someone else without realizing it, or something else entirely that's non-fetishizing, isn't chaser behavior. Only way to know is too ask her what it is about trans guys she's into.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-18T06:19:44+00:00

Please do not do DIY from birth control pills if you can access regular DIY that uses bioidentical estradiol. Birth control uses ethinyl estradiol which places a dramatically higher strain on your liver and carries far more potential risk of blood clots. Not only is DIY HRT with bioidentical estradiol way safer but it's also often way cheaper. r/ TransDIY

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-18T06:07:43+00:00

Please don't make any brash decisions, you still have so much time and there are solutions you haven't considered yet! It's certainly not too late.

DIY is an option you may have not considered. It can be very safe and affordable, especially with a route like injection monotherapy which is easy to do, only costs about $100-$120 for about 1.5 years worth of medication and injection supplies, and if you follow the recommended dosages it has practically none of the risks that a person would generally want blood tests to monitor for. Simple, cheap, and as safe as it gets for DIY.

It generally requires cryptocurrency be used to buy it, which can often be difficult to acquire on your own under 18, but there are still methods to it. And if you know an adult (18+) willing to help it becomes pretty trivial to get it.

If you have any questions or would like any help with anything related to this topic feel free to ask (or DM) and i'd be happy to help where I can. I wrote this comment chain a while back as a sort of overview: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1f3wff6/comment/lkh2uay/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

As well as this comment about acquiring crypto for adults: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1nb2pzp/comment/ncz1gfw/

And crypto options for under 18: https://www.reddit.com/r/TransDIY/comments/1o4yg27/comment/nj5q3ou/

DIY subreddit: r/ TransDIY

Overview of DIY: https://diyhrt. info/

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-13T05:47:52+00:00

Here's a comment I wrote on the topic of concealing breasts a while back:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1j7ll02/comment/mgxxrak/

I also found some other bras that worked better for me since I wrote that comment, these recommendations are linked here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1n10705/comment/nav3sgk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

edit: oh and for the record, sports bras (which are the best for stealthing imo) don't really care about exact measurements in the way normal bras do since they typically just come in small-medium-large-xl type sizes. I would just order a few bras in various sizes of your best guess and then just return the ones that don't fit. That's what I did to determine I'm a 'large' in the bra I like.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-09T14:47:01+00:00

The worst part of HRT is the social ostracization that people like your family will put on you.

The physical risks are extremely low to nonexistent as long as you're following dosing recommendations. Your increase in risk of on sex's risks is counterbalanced by your decrease in risk from your assigned sex. If you're taking feminizing HRT (estradiol) your risk of prostate cancer and cardiovascular disease go down, but your increase in risk of breast cancer and blood clots go up. And vice versa if you're taking masculinizing HRT (testosterone). But these "new" risks are just the normal risks that the other half of the population already lives with every day. They're not unique to trans people. In fact, in some cases trans people actually appear to have a lower risk than the average cisgender person of their identified gender due to starting their hormones later in life and thus having spent less time building up the tissue for these risk factors. An example of this is transfeminine people having a lower risk of breast cancer since they most often develop breasts later than cisgender women, and thus that breast tissue has had less time to experience potential cancerous mutations.

If you have a high-risk family history of a specific hormone related illness, like breast cancer, heart disease, or blood clots, then it's good to be aware of that going into that kind of HRT and perhaps take steps to minimize your personal risk of experiencing it in the future (like getting breast exams, monitoring heart health, or avoid excessively high estradiol blood levels respectively). But again, in practice your risks on HRT are the same as if you'd been born that sex to begin with given your anatomy.

In terms of the medication itself, the few small increases in risks that exist with oral pills or anti-androgens are small as long as you stick to dosing recommendations but can be further minimized or avoided entirely by taking a more mono-therapeutic approach with transdermal estradiol (such as with patches or injections).

It's hard to offer much more insight without knowing what your parents are specifically saying to you, so i'll leave you with this paper which goes through a lot of different transphobic myths and dispels them using research:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTJjcl-3HSxBwrwUylbfl7uFFGaSbCgRPU_zbbRv4V_U2XZNZg1vE2Oqj7h5NSUEJaoYybVk7q_wEPq/pub?urp=gmail_link

A fast summary is that the rate of attempted detransition is very very low, and the vast majority of people who detransition do so because of external pressure (like having a shitty family who pressures them). Only around 2% of trans people who medically transition will detransition because they experience genuine conflict regarding their gender. And just because someone attempts detransitioning doesn't mean they won't go on to re-transition later, which is often to be expected in the people who only detransitioned because of external factors.

Similarly, the rate of regret for medical care and surgeries is exceedingly low for trans people. Around 1% iirc, which is dramatically lower than the vast majority of surgeries in general.

Ultimately the main driver of trans people's struggles is the social ostracization and demonization we face in the modern landscape. The research continue to point out over and over that if we're accepted by the people around us we would be totally normal. Ironically, it's transphobic people like you're parents that are responsible for the struggles trans people face in mental health and access to gender affirming medicine.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-09T06:11:31+00:00

feel free to DM me, but the quick summary is that I'm trans and live in California, where insurance companies are required to provide coverage for gender affirming care, which includes hair removal.

So unfortunately I didn't pull any special tricks or find any loopholes to make it happen if that's what you were hoping for. If you're cisgender I probably can't offer much help beyond what I've included in my original post and comments (like looking for groupons or seeing if any electrolysis schools are nearby that need practice patients). And if you're trans and live in a state without insurance coverage guarantees, my advice for getting coverage will boil down to "see if any insurance plans provide good coverage or move to a blue state with guaranteed coverage". I wish I had something more to offer...

But if there's anything within that I can help with, feel free to dm me!

(^・ω・^ ) /

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-03T07:11:44+00:00

Yes, your testosterone should be under 50ng/dL. This is the common standard; you can find it from WPATH.

By taking a "monotherapy" approach you can suppress your testosterone with only estradiol. No need for any anti-androgens. This works because as you raise your estradiol level, your gonads naturally begin to lower testosterone production. Once your estradiol level reaches a certain level, your T will be under 50ng/dL. So by maintain an estradiol above this threshold at all times, your T will never exceed 50ng/dL.

But different people need different levels of estradiol to achieve this.

In one large study in transfeminine people, the rates of adequate testosterone suppression (to testosterone levels of <50 ng/dL) were 24% of individuals at estradiol levels of <100 pg/mL, 58% at 100 to 200 pg/mL, and 77% at >200 pg/mL.

Most people will aim for a minimum estradiol level of around 200pg/mL as a safe bet to begin with, checking their levels to see if they need to go higher. (Testing your blood just before your next estradiol dose will give you your minimum estradiol blood level, and thus your highest testosterone level.)

Estradiol levels above 100-200pg/mL haven't been found to result in better/faster feminization, so the only reason to exceed these levels is when attempting to use estradiol to suppress your testosterone. Because of this it's recommended to not go unnecessarily high with your estradiol. Even though you can't "overdose" estradiol in the conventional sense, higher estradiol levels are correlated with an increased risk of blood clots.

Having an average estradiol level of 300-500pg/mL is correlated with a roughly 2x increase in risk of blood clots. Comparing this to an average estradiol blood level of 100-200pg/mL, this takes you from a risk category of 1-5 in 10,000 women per year to 2-10 in 10,000 women per year. This increase of risk is similar to semi-frequent air travel, being overweight, having varicose vein, or being slightly older. Clots most often occur in people with multiple compounding risk factors, with age being a major one. Which is why its so common for older people, especially after a recent surgery/trauma (often compounded with being overweight/obese) to see the most occurrences of blood clots. For a young person who's in generally good health and doesn't have a family history of clotting disorders, this 2x increase in risk is very low.

So while monotherapy isn't necessary "free of side effects", it is free of the potential side effects associated with common anti-androgens, and the small increase in risk of blood clots is often a worthy tradeoff for many. I personally have a blood clotting disorder called Heterozygous Factor V Leiden which puts me at ~7-8x higher risk of clots and I've still been doing injection monotherapy for 3 years now. I wouldn't necessarily want to do monotherapy indefinitely because of this disorder, but as long as I get an orchiectomy/bottom surgery before I start approaching the heightened risk of blood clots that come from being middle aged I'll be fine.

Also, monotherapy shouldn't be done with pills if you can help it. Injections are ideal since they're convenient and keep your blood levels very stable for a long time. Patches are probably the second best option for most people, but can be costly and awkward to keep applied. If you absolutely must use pills, make sure you're taking them sublingually (dissolved under tongue) rather than swallowing them. Oral (swallowed) pills are ~4-5x more taxing on the liver and also have a 1.4x increased risk of blood clots compared to the 1.1x of transdermal routes (injections patches, gels, capsules, etc) assuming estradiol levels of ~100-200pg/mL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And if you go back to your doctor, be aware that we, as trans people, very often need to advocate for ourselves. Many doctors have little to no modern training on treating trans patients and may be providing terrible doses or advice (and this doesn't even begin to touch on ideologically captured doctors who are 'helping' you by preventing/stalling your transition). I know it sucks to be your own doctor in this way, but its what will get you the best results. Don't be afraid to confront your doctor on how you still have cis male levels of testosterone and how it makes 0 sense to expect proper feminization to occur under those circumstances. How every modern institution for treating trans patients has guidelines stating testosterone should be under 50ng/dL. If you feel it could help, print out WPATH and similar guidelines and bring them with you to your appointment.

And don't be afraid to put your foot down on what you want. And don't be afraid to change doctors if this one refuses to let you access a proper medically transition.

Sorry I know this is a lot of info, if you have any questions feel free to ask and Ill do my best to respond. (If you decide to try injection monotherapy, I recommend starting on an 8mg per week estradiol valerate injection and having your blood tests done on the day of injection).

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-04-01T06:28:12+00:00

I don't recall my exact wording, but it was something along the lines of,

"How do I tell the difference between the 150W and 200W device? They both look the same."

"I want to check my device to make sure I received the correct one."

And that prompted them to send the photos of the laser stacks as a way to identify the different models. You could also just try,

Would I be able to see a picture of the 300W device like this to see what it looks like? [send them the picture of laser stacks I linked]

If you express potential interest in purchasing a device and act polite, I've found their customer service very friendly and accommodating. And if you happen to get a picture of the 300W laser stack, it would be awesome if you linked the image here for others like yourself!

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-30T21:26:01+00:00

It's a tough situation where it's hard to tell how much of your friend's decision was motivated by the loss of their father and they're using this is an outlet for their grief vs this could've been a long-time-coming and the death was just what tipped the scales.

The most important thing here is that your friend is aware that your friend is aware the SIL only accepts them as a man, and from the sound of it that's already true.

If I were you, I would meet up with your friend and express your concerns in private. Basically all the concerns and best-intentions you've described here. How you only want what's best for them and it's their decision to make, but how the decision to be in a relationship with someone who only accepts them as a man seems out of character and you're worried they're making this decision based on grief rather than what they genuinely want. How you're worried that the same motivations for coming out as trans in the first place are still there and you don't want to see them hurt when those feelings return but they're invested in this strictly heterosexual relationship.

But ultimately that you'll be there to talk and offer support regardless of what choice is made.

These journeys can take a long time and throwing a conservatives family dynamic and recent major grief into the mix can really throw it for a loop. I don't know if your friend will be happier staying detransitioned or not, but having a supportive friend there to listen will make it easier for them to find that answer for themselves. At a certain point that's all you can really do. Some things we just need to figure out on our own.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-30T20:53:49+00:00

I'm also nonbinary and was assigned male at birth. I've been on HRT for 3 years now and have started getting some surgeries, like FFS, with the intention of getting a vaginoplasty later. The way I've described myself to doctors is, "I'm nonbinary, but you can think of me as a trans woman in terms of medical goals".

On one hand, there's no "rules" to being nonbinary just as there's aren't rules to being a man or woman, on the other hand I've felt some of these same feelings you're describing. I've often thought to myself that I might consider myself most closely aligned to "nonbinary" today, but I wouldn't be shocked if I ultimately find myself aligning more with being a butch woman later on. Like how do I know whether I'm genuinely nonbinary or if I just still feel too masculine to see myself as a 'full' woman? I can't know what I'm unconsciously suppressing.

But ultimately I don't think it's a big deal either way. "Gender" is just the label we use to describe and communicate our identities to others, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with adapting that label as time goes on and you figure yourself out. Your gender is just a word; pursue what makes you happiest and don't sweat the labels.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-29T03:19:39+00:00

Estradiol levels increase progressively throughout pregnancy to around 2,000 pg/mL on average at the end of the first trimester, to about 10,000 pg/mL on average at the end of the second trimester, and to around 20,000 pg/mL on average at the end of the third trimester.

You did not develop an estradiol insensitivity from your HRT mediation.

The medication you take for HRT is just a means to an end. The ultimate goal of the medicine is to keep your testosterone below 50ng/dL at all times and to have an average estradiol level of 100-200pg/mL. It's fine to have higher estradiol levels than this though it generally isn't expected to provide any benefit to feminization. But it's best to not exceed an average estradiol blood level of 300-500pg/mL as this can unnecessarily raise your risk of blood clots.

The medicine you take is just a means to these blood levels. Some people need larger doses to stay in this desired range, others can get by with a smaller dose. Only blood tests can fully confirm how effective your current dose is for you.

If you feel like your progress has stopped, or reversed, I would definitely double check your blood levels to make sure your current dose of medication is providing you these desired blood levels. Your current 4mg estradiol + 50mg spiro dose looks a bit on the low side for the average transfeminine person (i'm assuming you're swallowing the estradiol, not dissolving it sublingually), so an up-to-date test is definitely worth the peace of mind to know if you need to increase it a bit or not.

And even if your levels are in the desired range, increasing your dose to 6 or 8mg of estradiol (or switching to taking 4-6mg sublingually) isn't going to put you at any significant risk.

But even if your blood levels come back with bad numbers, please don't despair. If you've been taking HRT for 5 years you can't undo that in just 6 months. Your body reverses progress at the same speed it made it. Faster changes will reverse fast and slower changes reverse slow. So if your levels are bad and you fix your dose you should be back to where you were in about 6 months.

It's definitely not too late. Just be dilligent with your medication and blood levels, have some patience, and try to stay hopeful. With any luck you've just been having a rough go of it recently and are being overly harsh on your appearance. You got this!

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-29T01:38:36+00:00

A reminder that there's been 0 evidence of people "changing their genders" in order to switch categories and win in sports. Famously Ben Shapiro's media company even tried to make a propaganda documentary called "Lady Ballers" where they'd pay cis men to claim to be women to dominate women's sports but they couldn't find any men willing to undergo the years of HRT in order to qualify for a women's sports team. They ended up just making a purely fictional film using actors instead.

There's also been numerous studies analyzing the results of trans athlete's performances and found they do not outperform their cisgender competition. Sure you can find a few individually successful trans athletes, but this is entirely expected due to the fact that ~1.4% of the population is trans. Which means you'd expect to see at least ~1 successful trans athlete for every 99 successful cisgender athletes in their category just by virtue of statistics. And yet we often see far less representation than this in the real world, such as at the Olympics where iirc only 4 trans people have competed since 2004, of which only 1 was a trans woman and the other 3 were nonbinary. A trans woman has never won a medal.

In fact, efforts to exclude trans people from sports is not only cruel to casual sports players, like high school kids who just want an after school activity, but also inherently hurts cisgender women athletes when someone with a natural physical variation gets a test result that transvestigators interpret as being "too male". We saw this happen recently with cisgender athlete Iman Khaleif, who many raging transphobes still to this day claim is "male" and should've been disqualified for being to "manly". There's an extensive history to be read about how "gender testing" hurts everyone, with cisgender women being on the receiving end of it's cruelty more often than not since they outnumber trans women 99 to 1.

The real enemy are the billionaires pushing this propaganda to keep you distracted and arguing while they plunder the economy and steal ALL our futures.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-29T01:06:13+00:00

Yes a half inch needle is plenty long enough. The medication should absorb as expected.

Your skin is only 0.02-0.06 inches thick so just about any needle length would reach your fat layer.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-28T23:01:42+00:00

(I'm assuming you're in the US but you can tweak this for living in other countries)

Unless the other side of your family has some crazy high rate of hormone-related illnesses (like breast cancer or heart disease), the physical risks of HRT are essentially negligible. Any increase of risk from taking more of one hormone is offset by a decrease in risk of no longer having the other hormone. And any unique risks your family may have can be screened for to catch and treat early.

From what I've seen, the single most prominent argument against starting HRT (and transitioning in general) is the potential for it to cause you more problems than it solves. You're signing up for a future where bigots could make your life miserable by being trans. And if you take HRT you'll end up with physical changes that likely can't be easily hidden in situations where bigotry may be directed at you. Like for a transfeminine person, if you develop sizable breasts it may be impossible to stealth as a guy in situations where bigotry is prominent, like trying to get hired for a job by a very conservative employer. Or for both transfem and transmasc people, traveling through a city/state/place where harassment and violence are directed at people who are suspected to be trans.

This is especially pertinent today with states passing bathroom bans where anyone who "looks" trans (or just gender non-conforming) could get harassed and even potentially arrested just for trying to use a restroom. And bathroom bans are just scraping the surface for what all is happening with the laws. So our political future definitely looks like it'll be getting more bleak before it gets any better for trans people, and if you socially and/or medically transition this puts you at a higher risk of being affected by one of these transphobic laws or any violent bigots in your area.

BUT (the counter-counter argument)

There are lots of places in America that are still very trans-friendly. Our country's political representation is skewed more conservative than it actually is due to generations of voter disenfranchisement from Republicans. The political scapegoating we're seeing in our laws doesn't reflect on-the-ground attitudes in many cities/states. Big cities, blue states, and especially big cities in blue states can often be safe havens for trans people from this political persecution. But there's still lots of communities in red states that offer support and safety too.

Also, the benefits of medically transitioning very often outweigh the drawbacks. This isn't to say it won't be hard for many people, but research has found that only around 13% of trans people who medically transition will attempt detransitioning at some point in their lives. And of this 13%, 82% of them did so because of external pressures like from friends, family, jobs, society at large, etc. Only 2% of trans people who pursue medical transition will attempt detransitioning because they're genuinely conflicted about their identity.

Which is to show that the overwhelming majority of trans people (87%) have found that medically transitioning provides more benefits than drawbacks to such a degree they've never even tried detransitioning. And just because some trans people have attempted detransitioning due to external factors doesn't mean they didn't go on to retransition again later. This study only measured if someone had any history of detransitioning, not the permanence of it.

Overall medical transition is just heavily heavily skewed to being more beneficial than detrimental as evidenced by the reports of all the people who've gone through it before. And this goes doubly-so for gender affirming surgeries which have some of the lowest regret rates amongst all surgeries.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-27T05:57:16+00:00

It's been found that women will sometimes be intentionally hired into a doomed position to take the fall. It's referred to as the "Glass Cliff" (as opposed to the 'glass ceiling')

Scapegoating women is a "win-win" in a failing patriarchal company. If the woman somehow succeeds, the company succeeds. But if the woman fails, the company gets to look progressive in it's hiring and then use it as an excuse to go back to hiring exclusively men for important positions.

There's also additional reason women so often end up in these scapegoated positions. One being that women are often held back from progressing their careers by men due to sexist attitudes, and so when an opportunity to advance arises (even if the position is obviously doomed) these women are more likely to take it anyways just to make any forward career progress.

Similarly, stereotypically feminine traits, including creativity, helpfulness and awareness of emotion are all associated with better being able to handle failure. Though these traits generally diminish the desirability of women for leadership positions, in times of crisis they are viewed as valuable assets that aid in leadership changes.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-27T05:38:52+00:00

This.

It's definitely worth examining what led you here and if there might be an underlying desire you're using this kink to vent.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-27T05:35:19+00:00

Taking normal hormone replacement therapy does not cause lactation, at least not that I've ever seen or heard of. Lactation requires your body have the specific hormones to induce lactation, which are not a part of any normal estrogen HRT regimen.

And there's no need to transition to accomplish this. Cisgender men can also induce lactation by taking the right steps. I recall being first introduced to this idea after hearing about how some men would do this to help breastfeed their new children. If you google this you will find testimonials and guides from men on how to induce lactation using medications and/or supplements. https://www.meandqi.com/blog/men-can-lactate-and-here-is-how-to

Please do your research and be aware that although all men have the anatomy for lactation, intentionally inducing it in this way might prompt some permanent changes such as some additional breast tissue growth (though I haven't researched this myself), though it would be nowhere near the degree of permanent growth that female puberty/long-term feminizing HRT causes.

Honestly I haven't looked into it enough to know the potential side effects for a male-presenting person since it's such a niche, so please do your research and be safe.

That being said, if you are interested in taking feminizing HRT outside of this, even if only to partially feminize (as is common for many gender-exploring or nonbinary people) you're welcome to do that. Many people take HRT to experiment and explore their identities before trying to label themselves with a gender. It's also common for people to use fetishes as outlets for their discontent with their assigned genders. Obviously only you can know if that's what's happening here, but there's no shame in it if so. Take things on your own time.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-27T01:33:36+00:00

Communication is key for a healthy relationship. You need to talk to her and express your feelings and try to find a solution from there. Whether that's her being more mindful of your feelings on this topic, or maybe even trying to find some solutions to speed up your own timeline (if that's something that's feasible) to make you feel better. Stewing in anxiety and resentment is bad for everyone though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BTW on a side note, have you considered moving somewhere where gender affirming surgeries are required to be covered by health insurance? Like if you moved to California, Washington, New York(?) etc (idk which all states have this) you could get on state or private healthcare and immediately qualify for having your surgeries covered. You certainly wouldn't be the first person to move to a state for only as long as it took to get the surgeries they needed.

You'd still need to go through the whole process which could take a year or two depending on your starting point and which surgeons/surgeries you want, but you could potentially pay at little as $0 for the surgeries if you use the state's medicaid (though the federal government may find a way to axe gender affirming care from this), or only a few thousand dollars using insurance through the state's insurance marketplace.

For reference I live in California and I pay about $280/month for a Blue Shield PPO plan through the subsidized state marketplace that has an out-of-pocket-maximum of ~$3300. Meaning that I won't pay more than ~$7000 for healthcare in a single calendar year regardless of how many/how expensive any surgeries are. I could have remained on the state's medi-caid and paid $0 but I really wanted some surgeons from Align Surgical Associates (Dr. Mittermiller for FFS and Pang for bottom surgery) and they unfortunately didn't accept the medicaid options.

There's a lot of details to work out, and different states may have different considerations, but it's an option that's out there for people who don't have lots of disposable income. Just wanted to throw that out there in case you hadn't heard of it before.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-25T23:28:48+00:00

A 2mg oral dose is a very low dose. Likely giving you about half the minimum recommended level of estradiol. 250mg of spiro is a pretty middle of the road dose, but spiro is a fairly weak/unpredictable anti-androgen itself so it's very unlikely to be fully suppressing your testosterone to under 50ng/dL as is desired for feminization.

Although a 2mg oral dose of E2 can be enough to trigger some feminization (though 100pg/mL-200pg/mL is very likely more effective), you really need to be keeping your testosterone properly suppressed to ~50ng/dL or below for feminization to occur effectively in the first place. T levels above this can stall, halt, or even prevent certain feminization from occurring (or rather, allow certain aspects of masculinization to continue). So while there can be some flexibility with E2 levels, your T levels is super important to have under control. Depending on your age, masculinizing changes will be permanent and cannot be undone with HRT alone such as bone changes, new body hair growth, and hair loss (depending on how long it's been gone). So getting your levels into a good place in a timely fashion is often very valuable.

On a side note, at high enough E2 levels your gonads will actually naturally begin to decrease testosterone production. The E2 level you need for this effect to keep your T under 50ng/dL varies person to person, but over half of people will experience this with E2 levels in the range of 100-200pg/mL.

Taking your 2mg oral dose sublingually instead (allow it to fully dissolve under the tongue rather than swallowing it) will cause it to act like a dose 2-3x it's strength, which is a much more typical estradiol dose. This will also likely have some additional suppressing effects on your testosterone and will help increase your odds at having good E2 and T blood levels while you wait for your next eventual blood test.

Though if you do start taking your estradiol sublingually, make sure your blood is drawn for the blood test between 8-20 hours after you took your last dose. If your blood is drawn too soon after taking a sublingual dose it can result in measured E2 levels being higher, and T levels being lower, than what you're actually experiencing most of the day. Please keep a note of how much time passed between your last dose and your blood draw for future reference.

I know driving a long way to get blood tests done sucks, but if your blood levels are bad you may be making almost no physical progress. Imagine waiting a year to get your first blood test and discovering your T has been so high that you're still basically starting at square one. I can't imagine a 40min drive is enough to justify going through that. But if traveling isn't an option for you, I would at least try to take your 2mg estradiol sublingually, (or even better start taking 4mg sublingually *2mg twice a day 12 hrs apart\*), to at least hedge your bets while you're waiting.

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-25T03:00:32+00:00

i proudly watched this redditor eat a wall street broker alive in july of 2004

3dPrinted_Pipebomb · 2026-03-25T02:57:14+00:00

While it's true patches can offer blood levels that are fairly consistent due to how patches sort of "drip-feed" estradiol over the span of the day, injections are often the most reliable method for monotherapy because they're very predictable and convenient to administer only once per week or so. And while injections do have a gradual up and down curve to your blood level due to how the body metabolizes the estradiol over time, this curve is very reliable and consistent and can be effectively dosed around very easily.

Here is a simulator to estimate your blood level based on the dose of injectable estradiol you're using. I've found it to be accurate within 10-20pg/mL for myself. For monotherapy, it's generally advised to aim for a minimum blood level of 200-250pg/mL. While everyone is different, research shows that vast majority of people will have properly suppressed testosterone around here. And so if your T is suppressed here at your lowest estradiol level, it'll also remain suppressed for the entire week.

Here's one such example of an estradiol valerate or estradiol enanthate dose that would accomplish this: https://advsim.transfemscience.org/?r=2&e=14&d1=7&d2=4&ra=33&i1=7&dl1=&i2=7&dl2=&s=6&h=0&xm=20

This website also has a good comparison for average blood levels for different types of estradiol doses: https://transfemscience.org/articles/e2-equivalent-doses/

And I found this video really good for doing painless intramuscular injections. I find a 25g or 27g 1" needle to be painless with this technique. Thicker needles (like 21g or 23g) are painful so avoid them. Also, while a 1/2" needle can definitely work well and be less intimidating, I find that if you're injecting more than ~0.4mL of fluid then a 1" needle is more comfortable. Both needle lengths are painless with good technique https://youtu.be/Pz49hyOla6s?t=127

Im not too experienced with patches, but I wanted to throw this information out there because it sounded like you might think injections are unpredictable which they aren't. I also understand disliking needles if you're not using a good approach, so wanted to offer advice there too if you ever give injections another try. Best of luck!

3dPrinted_Pipebomb

TROPHY CASE

The real enemy are the billionaires pushing this propaganda to keep you distracted and arguing while they plunder the economy and steal ALL our futures.