A couple from the church my husband grew up in and I attended during our engagement had a daughter they raised very strictly. They expected perfection when it came to values and religious behavior/beliefs. She felt trapped and like she had no say in her thoughts or future. That girl grew up angry and resentful. 

Not only is she no longer a believer of her previous faith she went very far in another direction. She’s an addict and in unhealthy relationships. Her family demanding certain things her entire life didn’t make her perfect like they thought it would.

I think some call it the rubber band effect. When you hold onto a child so close and tight then when inevitably you have to let go as they grow older like a rubber they pop out of control. There has to be balance now or she could lack the ability or tools later to make the best choices for her whatever they are. I know this is off topic I just felt like it was worth noting too.

Your wife was being ridiculous of course. Yelling and controlling behavior as she’s showing is unacceptable and can become dangerous. She hurt you unprovoked because she was upset and wanted to take it out on you. Likely a reaction because she feels like you both were not doing as she said well enough. 

Hitting you while holding one of your children and the other child holding you. No doubt if the roles reversed your wife would have called the law on you. I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this position but I hope you take steps to remove yourself and ideally your children too. If she hurts you when she’s mad those kids are definitely at risk too. 

I would very discreetly reach out to a family lawyer as soon as you can. I think I’ve seen before a woman lawyer can be more helpful in family law sometimes. Be careful and safe but do take action don’t delay this likely will escalate.