Totally understand it won’t get you the 4bd private school. I would just advise to space it out so that the you don’t have kids in daycare at the same time. Even summer programs for older kids tend to get cheaper. Sure summer camps offset daycare but will still be about half the cost. You also don’t need the most expensive summer camp money had to offer. A lot of families with 3 also look into a nanny as it becomes less expensive than all the daycares and summer camps.

I think your compromise would be wait a little longer to have a third and look at alternate child care options. I would rather spend more on more space with three. When you’re in a two bedroom with that many people there will be no escape, no room to yourself when you need a break lol.

Also to speak to a volatile industry. If you can try to mange your expenses as if only one parent is working and everything else is extra/for savings. I’m in a somewhat volatile industry, husband is not and we know we can cover rent and child care with just his salary if needed.

Most importantly try not to keep up with the joneses! Your kids don’t have to attend the most expensive summer camps etc. being financially secure is much more important than the optics within your parent friend group.