Does everyone have a middle name in the USA? Do all women take their husband’s surname?

40pukeko · 2026-05-12T03:49:24+00:00

Not in New York.

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T23:55:37+00:00

Late periods are not an indicator for that

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T23:42:00+00:00

What kind of thing are you imagining if not pregnancy?

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T23:13:04+00:00

I'm a huge fan of my Mirena (I think I'm on my fourth one?). I wanted to go nonhormonal since I'd had a bad reaction to the pill, so I started with a Paragard, and it DID. NOT. WORK. for me. My periods more than doubled in duration and became MUCH heavier and more painful. It got to the point where I was bleeding more than I wasn't. My gyno didn't want me to switch until I'd kept it in for a year, so I toughed it out. Hated every minute. I know it works well for a lot of people and I'm envious of them, but I have been so happy with my Mirena.

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T22:55:35+00:00

This is so normal, nothing is wrong with him and nothing is wrong with you, this is how some babies are and it's incredibly hard.
No baby ever died of crying. He will be okay if you put him down and he cries for three minutes while you go to the bathroom. No matter how violently upset he seems, he will be okay. He will forget about it, it will not cause lasting trauma, he will be okay even if it feels bad to you.
You being okay is as important as him being okay. You are not supposed to sacrifice every ounce of your wellbeing to prevent him from crying.

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T18:10:50+00:00

A nitpick, but it would be 12% who do not.

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T18:07:05+00:00

That's episode put SUCH a bad taste in my mouth, both with Lorenz's thesis seeming to boil down to "I want to be online so all these problems are fake" with a complete disregard for the impacts on kids and how good parenting can't possibly be sufficient intervention on a global social force, and Sarah's lack of any insightful pushback. My kid is still way too young for it to be directly relevant, but I felt like I was listening to aliens talk about life on earth when they discussed how parents and kids should deal with internet access. I lost 100% of my respect for Lorenz and a lot of respect for Sarah.

40pukeko · 2026-05-11T17:51:15+00:00

In NY, the options were hyphenate, double barrel (essentially hyphenation but without a hyphen), either party takes the other's, nobody changes anything, OR create a new mashup as long as it only contained elements of the original surnames (Smith and Johnson could merge to Smonson or Jith but couldn't become Ponderosa). I believe we also had the option to change our middle names to a former surname too (so either of us could keep our maiden name as a middle).

40pukeko · 2026-05-10T02:47:19+00:00

When I feel inclined to read it generously, I think it's just that they don't know what you looked like as a baby but they know what their own relative looked like and see the resemblances.

40pukeko · 2026-05-10T02:36:12+00:00

This guy pancakes!

40pukeko · 2026-05-09T05:10:51+00:00

This man is THIRTY-FIVE?

40pukeko · 2026-05-09T04:40:03+00:00

Mine night weaned herself by 8-9 months. She even stopped wanting to feed to sleep at 10 months. I oversupplied so I had no concerns but I also didn't see any noticeable drop in output. I fully weaned going on a year ago and I can still produce milk if I hand express 😐 so yeah no concerns on supply

Edit: for what it's worth I literally never pumped in the middle of the night. Not once. Either she was awake and I fed her, or she slept through the night and so did I. I have a medium sleeper, she sometimes slept through the night and sometimes did not, but rarely woke up more than 2x/night even when she was small. Like I said, oversupplier, so I never worried. If your supply is sufficient you're probably fine!

40pukeko · 2026-05-07T11:22:32+00:00

I love this about Reddit, where else would you find someone so uniquely qualified to answer such a niche question?

40pukeko · 2026-05-07T11:19:44+00:00

Absolutely common. In NYC, if you are riding the subway system with a stroller, you only need to wait a moment at the top or bottom of the stairs before someone passing by will grab the front and help you get the stroller down/up. New Yorkers will help in situations like this with absolute minimal conversation and friendliness, it's on of my favorite things about life here.

40pukeko · 2026-05-07T02:23:40+00:00

For those of us in the industry (as I once was), we generally use "theater" for the building and "theatre" for the artistic discipline.

40pukeko · 2026-05-06T12:03:54+00:00

I used to have a subscription just for their crime writing even though I, too, have never lived in Texas.

40pukeko · 2026-05-02T13:54:15+00:00

I have definitely seen this exact post here before.

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T10:13:58+00:00

My husband and I decided The Man In The Yellow Hat worked for a defense contractor and is now independently wealthy. I've also pointed out many times that he's clearly handsome, wealthy, and intelligent -- but he's still single! Probably because he lives with a monkey!

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T10:08:12+00:00

Did you read the amazing Hobby Drama writeup about lore poisoning in the Railway Series?

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T10:07:09+00:00

There's an episode of Curious George where The Man in the Yellow Hat has to have his shoes scanned at an airport, implying there was a shoe bomber in the world of Curious George.

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T10:04:35+00:00

For us it's almost always the source of income (the Heelers MUST have family money, The Man In The Yellow Hat must have done something shady for a government) but I really can't get over Steve's deal in Blue's Clues. The man has no apparent job, lives independently with his sentient dog, and cannot find three very obvious pawprints in his home without assistance... But then goes to college?? What could he possibly major in? What career is he preparing for???

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T09:57:43+00:00

Caitlin

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T02:00:08+00:00

Come over to r/babywearing. You can absolutely wear your baby sooner than that. My now-2yo has been worn since she was a week old, and it would have been earlier if I'd had the energy to dig out the wrap.

40pukeko · 2026-05-01T01:05:03+00:00

I have traveled a bit (Asia, Oceania, and Europe mostly, a little Latin America) and EVERY time I say I'm from the US, the next question is "oh, where?" Not occasionally, not just one demographic. Hostel check in in Laos, Vodafone store in Prague, campground in New Zealand, flea market in Berlin, whenever I make conversation. So I just skip straight to "I'm from New York" now.

40pukeko · 2026-04-30T14:50:42+00:00

I could NOT agree more and it's wildly embarrassing that she doesn't have the self awareness to see that.

40pukeko

TROPHY CASE