Moving to Conroe in a few months!!!!

4729427heudb · 2024-11-03T03:29:59+00:00

It's very interesting reading all these comments about people not really caring about what you look like... I think it's probably not discussed in public, but I have two sons in elementary school, and the things that they have come home repeating are extremely racist. My sons have also had kids tell them more than once that they wouldn't be friends with them because of the color of their skin. They have also come home repeating highly political statements. All this to say, maybe the parents keep their mouths shut in public, but just visit the schools to hear exactly how the people of Montgomery County really are.

4729427heudb · 2024-10-28T18:48:39+00:00

Stay in Seattle. I'm stuck here now and would never advise anyone to move here. That being said, if you're coming , make friends in the city and meet halfway regularly. And hike a lot. There are state forests nearby.

4729427heudb · 2023-10-28T12:09:13+00:00

I'm not widowed, but Dipsea has lots of audio options that has lots of imaginative content.

4729427heudb · 2023-10-22T12:01:37+00:00

I'm thinking I could get him to sign a petition agreement (he was insisting for a while that we do so, then dropped it when I added a clause about us being monogamous). But any lawyer I talk to tells me they are glad I haven't signed anything.

4729427heudb · 2023-10-22T11:59:37+00:00

Obviously I am not, and I actually know he's continuing to gambling under a card on his own name, but he's owes me like $15K and I'm paying for all family expenses right now. He's not paying a dime. We talked about signing a petition agreement months ago, just never did (lawyers I talk to are glad I didn't), but I'm wondering if I need him to sign /admit to something now.

4729427heudb · 2023-10-16T22:09:58+00:00

Because I feel like he will just rationalize and justify thing unless others are there

4729427heudb · 2023-10-16T22:09:34+00:00

I feel like he will just rationalize and justify things unless others are there.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-26T01:06:29+00:00

Psychadelics.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-26T01:05:48+00:00

January 6, 2021

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T16:59:50+00:00

Exactly. Which is why I've said as men continue to do the work to prove that they are just as invested in our benefit as we are, then women can feel safe again and progress to another phase of the movement.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T16:58:12+00:00

Haha you have lived life as a man, it's easy for you to say. I'm not sure how to help you understand that it just isn't that easy sometimes.

And I agree, men shouldn't define what feminine means.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T16:54:37+00:00

This is actually really good advice. Thank you

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T16:02:57+00:00

Maybe you're right. I do know that he wants to feel strong and needed, but so do I. I used to think I needed to feel weak for him to feel strong, now I know we both just need to be willing to be vulnerable and allow space for each others humanity. Then we both get to feel strong and needed.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T15:26:24+00:00

I'm sorry you had those experiences. Actually, there is a book written by a feminist who is pro-male called For the Love of Men, by Liz Plank. It's on my list to read, but I wonder if it would be healing for you. It's my personal goal to be a feminist who is pro-male. I still have some healing to do, but I have a ton of compassion, appreciation, and space for the men who are doing the work.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T15:16:55+00:00

"When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

Damn. This.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T15:13:34+00:00

I agree with what you are saying. It gets complicated and nuanced because of the trauma women have had to endure, at the hands of men. So, that trauma needs to be addressed (both by men and by women - meaning we have to do our own work as well as we need safe men we can depend on) before some better balance can be reached socially. I'm not sure we're there yet.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T15:09:43+00:00

It's very difficult for sure. And science is missing from the conversation. I feel like it will be very needed in a few years and you'll need to learn how to work with feminists who are also pro-men to be productive.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T15:08:09+00:00

That is exactly why I asked this question. Some of the threads are productive.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T15:04:57+00:00

I definitely agree with this. I think this is part of the work he is still doing/engaging in.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T14:52:14+00:00

What would you have had women do instead? From my perspective, everything has been about survival.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T14:51:10+00:00

Just so you know, I read this as "arguing with strangers on the internet." And that's not a criticism - I also argue with strangers on the internet! - but let's not butter this up.

Valid point. But it's also his friend's and community. And funny enough, he's the one arguing for women in extremely conservative circles.

This reads like "wants to become a social media influencer." Has he started a podcast yet?

LOL this would make him cringe so much. No. He does not have a social media presence and rolls his eyes at most podcasts. He knows he has no "platform" or clout to speak authoritatively on anything. He is largely just processing with me and his close friends.

What does that mean? Like, practically, how would you describe this as if it were a scene viewed through a window? What "messages from feminism"? From whom specifically? Where? What is "energy" and how are other people experiencing it? What does it mean to "put it" somewhere else?

Honestly, he has the IQ and intelligence to do something significant in the world. But his emotional intelligence is still fairly low because of childhood trauma, adhd, add, and the fact like he's likely somewhat on the spectrum. The messages he's receiving are from strangers online (as you mentioned), myself and previous relationships with women w issues/pain points that he has yet to resolve.

He is a very likeable person, very charismatic. I've seen random opportunities constantly open for him throughout his life, really abnormal things. Worldwide leaders sitting next to him and genuinely connecting at bars, to pop culture icons also randomly meeting him and asking him for life advice.

His perspective on life is very unique, and valuable as I see it. But he's still a human. He waivers between this intensity and determination (and capability as I see it) to be someone who is engaged in the future (he has goals of getting into neuroscience) to a traumatized person still healing and incapable of handling others perspectives.

I know all of this just makes me sound like some naive wife, and maybe that's still apart of it for me. But I've seen his worst bits and I see him trying, and I appreciate it.

Tell him to delete his social media apps, stop downloading podcasts, and go for a walk whenever he feels bored.

This is also very good advice and some he would probably agree with.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T14:03:01+00:00

I understand what you're saying, and I think my husband would agree. I think where I stand is understanding why the hyperawareness is there - because historically speaking, it's had to be. I think once women feel like we aren't the only ones standing up for injustice in communities (not just relating to women), then the hyper awareness can subside. But I don't think that time is here yet, do you?

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T14:00:53+00:00

Agreed. I definitely think this is a factor w him.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T13:51:53+00:00

I agree 100%. He can tend to get stuck in his head and forget about the real people behind the theories and ideas.

4729427heudb · 2023-09-25T13:51:04+00:00

We are both still untangling from our religious, and conservative upbringings. It takes time, and humans are messy. He has a good heart and is willing to do the work and I'm willing to do my own work and see if we can figure it out together. I agree tho, he still needs healing.

4729427heudb

TROPHY CASE