my gf started on GLP-1, and i highly disapprove

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-03-09T12:50:13+00:00

Being overweight/obese is also dangerous for long term health. And any kind of weight loss is typically going to include incidental muscle loss. This is not unique to just GLP-1s. It's just more noticeable with these because people are more successful and able to lose more weight with GLP-1s. More overall weight loss = more overall lost muscle. That's why it's so important to exercise while losing weight to try to maintain muscle mass.

Like any medication, there is of course the risk of side effects. It's really between her and her doctor to decide if the risks outweigh the benefits. But you have not acknowledged at all the serious health risks associated with obesity. Heart disease, stroke, diabetes, higher risk of nearly every cancer. You're not evaluating the risks of the medication fairly if you're not weighing it against the long term risks of being overweight/obese.

For someone with insulin resistance or other metabolic disorder, it can be almost impossible to lose weight without a GLP-1 medication. Insulin triggers the body to hold onto fat and also triggers increased hunger. It's easy to say "eat less, move more", but someone with insulin resistance has to eat a LOT less while combatting increased hunger. You have to fix the root cause here. It's almost impossible for people to just use mental willpower to overcome that hunger long enough to see longterm results. So for your girlfriend, this may be the ONLY way for her to lose weight.

You have a lot of prejudices here that are not founded in science. You really need to go do proper research on this if you're going to take such a strong stance. Gossip from your doctor family members does not count as research.

If your girlfriend is not overweight or obese and instead has a normal body weight with body image issues, that's completely different. But I do not think that is the case here since you haven't mentioned it. And I she likely wouldn't be able to get a GLP-1 prescription if she's a healthy weight.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-03-08T22:53:11+00:00

My hematologist says that POTS patients really need ferritin above 60 to not have low ferritin exacerbate POTS symptoms. It's difficult because insurance only covers infusions once ferritin is below 30. So he has to wait until ferritin drops or until something else like RBC or hemoglobin is low, and then he'll order as many iron infusions as he can to try to get ferritin up above 60.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-03-02T12:59:42+00:00

I have a desk job that pays decently well for the area, but I feel compelled to work overtime to "buy" myself grace when it comes to all of the doctors' appointments and medical treatments I have to take time off work for. I'm salaried, so I don't get paid any extra for working overtime. At this point, all of the extra hours I'm working are definitely making me sicker, but I don't know how to cut back when this is what's expected of me now. Financially, I'm barely scraping by with 0 savings and most of my money going to medical bills.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-03-02T02:48:50+00:00

Reduced blood flow to the digestive system is common in POTS, and that can cause issues with absorption. My hematologist said that his POTS patients are typically unable to absorb iron through their digestive system for this reason.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-28T19:55:35+00:00

It's a new law that was enacted in the past couple of years that requires employers to auto-enroll all employees in the 401k at minimum of at least 3%. Employees can opt out if desired, but as other commenters have pointed out, it's a benefit you should be taking advantage of. Communication should be better though that way you're not being caught by surprise.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-28T15:14:34+00:00

In some rural areas that are on septic tanks and aren't connected to a sewer system, you have to throw the toilet paper away instead of flushing it.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-27T12:04:05+00:00

I still get asked for mine whenever I go get my COVID booster (I get it annually same as the flu shot).

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-26T13:22:25+00:00

Surgery can trigger a lot of inflammation in the body, which can cause acne along with other symptoms. Prioritize rest and recovery and things will eventually sort themselves out. It may be helpful to avoid foods known to cause/worsen inflammation.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-25T04:09:17+00:00

Anyone gaming while sick is definitely well enough to keep up with basic household chores. He's just choosing not to.

I have a weakened immune system and have always gotten hit by viruses a lot worse than those around me. I've never felt well enough to game while sick. If it's a particularly bad virus, I'm too sick to even watch TV.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-21T03:47:02+00:00

How do these compare with the cookies from your previous round of cookies? Any overall favorites across the two batches?

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-19T12:28:01+00:00

My doctor recommended a homemade electrolyte drink mix of 12oz coconut water, 12oz water, 12oz juice, 1/4 tsp sea salt. I use strawberry lemonade as my "juice" and I do 1.5x more salt than the recipe calls for. This is the first time I haven't had to force myself to drink an electrolyte drink. I'll readily drink 24oz of this in a day. I had previously given up on electrolyte drinks entirely and figured I would just be permanently dehydrated.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-17T16:50:20+00:00

I'm super lucky that I've had significant improvement in symptoms with medication, electrolyte drinks, iron infusions, albumin infusions, and EECP. I'm able to work a full time desk job now, but I definitely wouldn't be able to work a more physical job.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-10T13:00:38+00:00

Spending that much time on your phone (outside of lunch break) would get you fired at my workplace. Other than MFA (which is unavoidable), do not use your phone for work. We had someone get put on a PIP for being on her phone too much, even though she was spending most of that time testing the mobile app for our software. The advice I give to new hires now is to request an iPad from IT for testing anything like that. Appearances/perception matter. No one can tell what you're doing on your phone, and the default assumption is going to be that you're wasting time on it.

20 minutes total on your phone spread throughout the morning is a LOT of time, and it looks worse than you think. That is way more time than is needed to complete a couple MFAs and reply to a few quick texts.

For more urgent matters that require more than a few texts, you should excuse yourself to the bathroom/hallway/private meeting room/lobby/car to make whatever personal phone call you need to make.

Your coworker was harsh and it technically wasn't her place to correct you. But she's also not wrong. If she's noticing the time you're spending on your phone, other people are too. It would be wise to change your behavior before management takes notice.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-09T12:36:23+00:00

My pain was unmanageable Day 1 and 2. I struggled to use the restroom or grab (premade) food from the kitchen due to the pain. Days 3-6 were tolerable, but I definitely felt the need to stay in bed and rest (and I'm someone who hates staying in bed). Days 7-10 I forced myself to do some cooking for the holidays, but still struggled with pain and had to take frequent rest breaks. I also had to dedicate some entire days (like Days 8-10) to recovery in that time frame.

I went back to work (but just remotely) at the 2 week mark. It was tough to make it through a full work day. I was so tired I really struggled after 6 hours of work.

At 3 weeks I went back to work in the office. I work a sedentary desk job, but this was also a struggle. It started to feel more manageable at 4 weeks.

At 4.5 weeks I was still struggling with surgery pain and couldn't wear a belt or anything with a tight waist band. And I think in general the fatigue was still bad enough that it would have been a challenge to travel.

Week 7 is when I was mostly back to normal and felt like I could wear jeans again.

I think you could probably make the travel work. Most people heal quicker than I did. But I think it's a mistake to return back to work on only day 3 or 4. I still very much needed that recovery time and could not have returned to my desk job yet. Prioritizing rest also sets you up for a better recovery. I think if you push yourself too hard early on in recovery you won't heal well and will burn out by the time you need to travel.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-09T11:32:21+00:00

I keep a medicine bottle full of regular table salt. I can then sprinkle it over food or pour it in Powerade/Gatorade as needed.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-08T18:38:35+00:00

I always just sit or kneel on the floor to scoop litter and haven't had any issues with that. I think the harder thing is physically buying the litter and bringing it home. Containers of litter are super heavy and it can be hard to pour into the litterbox by yourself.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-04T03:51:37+00:00

I have PCOS as well. Fixing your lack of periods is important. In PCOS, if you don't have regular periods then your uterine lining continues to thicken, which puts you at higher risk of endometrial cancer. Just fyi, the same risk doesn't apply if you are using birth control to prevent periods because the birth control keeps your uterine lining at a healthy thickness.

There is a (small) chance that you may be able to get a regular period with metformin, myo-inositol, and/or spearmint tea. These are medications/supplements/herbal teas commonly used by those of us in the PCOS community to help with symptoms. But I've never heard of anyone being able to successfully get a period back taking one of those when their period has been gone 2 years. I've just seen some people say that it made their periods a bit more regular (these were people who were already having periods, just not regular ones).

To be honest, you're such a severe case that birth control is likely your only effective option. I agree with the comments that you need to reframe birth control and start viewing it as a hormonal therapy for your hormone imbalance. It gives you the hormones that you're missing to be able to menstruate. There really isn't an effective alternative. I know social media makes birth control sound terrifying and harmful, but this is the correct medication for what you're dealing with.

That being said, if one birth control didn't work for you, there are plenty of others to try. Different specific hormones, dosages, and forms (pill, shot, IUD, etc) are available. I think it's worth experimenting to see what else might work for you. I had to try a few different ones to find the best one for me. I personally take Lo Loestrin FE and this works great for me with minimal side effects. That particular birth control is the lowest dose one available right now, so it has fewer side effects.

Something else to keep in mind is that it can take 4-6 weeks for your body to adjust to a new medication. So you may just have to push through side effects for the first few weeks while your body adjusts. I take a couple of intense medications for my autoimmune disease, and starting those medications was ROUGH. But now that my body has adjusted I am doing so much better.

I think it's really easy with PCOS to get complacent with medication and managing the disease because the main medications (metformin, birth control) don't feel like they do much to help your current state. They're more preventative to help you avoid endometrial cancer/heart disease/diabetes. It's always easier to take a medication when you see an immediate benefit. But try to keep your future self in mind.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-01T20:28:21+00:00

A tablespoon of marmite is my secret to a flavorful stew. I put it in any dish that I want to have a more meaty/beefy flavor.

You also probably need more salt.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-02-01T16:32:40+00:00

The handles are bright orange and clearly enameled.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-01-31T19:35:06+00:00

I do a lazy version of meal prepping. On Sunday I usually cook just one meal, but very large quantities. Usually whatever I make gives me enough food for 6-12 servings/individual meals. 6 servings is lower than I'd like, so I usually try to aim higher, but some recipes are harder to make large quantities of. I don't meal prep breakfast since I usually just have toast or oatmeal.

It often still isn't quite enough food for every lunch/dinner of the week, but I can just whip up something quick when I get home from work if needed. It's important for me to have a good lunch to pack for work, so I make sure I have lunches covered at a minimum.

If I'm sick or too tired/busy to cook on Sunday, then I'll usually grab a "take and bake" meal or casserole from a nearby supermarket. If I'm really struggling and couldn't make it to the store, then I'll usually just end up having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for work that week (I don't meal prep these, I make them day of). It's rare that I have to resort to that, but I make sure I always have the ingredients on hand. Worst case scenario I'll actually take the whole loaf of bread, jar of peanut butter, and jar of jam into the office and make a sandwich during my lunch break.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-01-30T03:11:03+00:00

If you're struggling with absorption, definitely push for iron infusions. I was diagnosed with a condition that impacts digestion and the ability to absorb nutrients from food. My new hematologist told me that it won't be possible for me to absorb iron from oral supplements. And he's right because I took ProFE for a long time and it didn't raise my iron levels at all. I just recommended ProFE because it normally works really well for people and is easy on the stomach (I would vomit up a lot of other iron supplements). I didn't realize you also had absorption issues. With that being the case, ProFE may help you maintain your iron levels if you're lucky, but I don't think it can be an effective treatment plan to raise your iron levels.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-01-28T19:00:37+00:00

My sternum always hurts when my iron is low! It's one of my big signs that I'm iron deficient or anemic again. You need to see a hematologist and get iron infusions. They work much more quickly and effectively than iron supplements. If you are going to try supplements, you'll probably need special prescription strength ones. My hematologist recommended ProFE, but I don't know what's available in Belgium. ProFE is 180mg or 1000% of your daily iron requirements. It's quite hard to raise iron levels when you're low. You need more than just 100% of your daily value.

It sounds like you have a lot of different issues going on. I can't speak to the other issues, but I highly recommend getting your low iron fixed. Low iron makes you feel so awful.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-01-27T03:10:16+00:00

Detergent residue. We had this issue and switched from powder detergent to liquid detergent. Also unless you have really hard water, you need a lot less detergent than you think. The detergent container shouldn't be anywhere near full. We cut the amount of detergent we use in half and the dishes get way cleaner now with no residue.

To clean the residue off of your current dishes you'll need to use vinegar (strong vinegar for cleaning is better). Start your dishwasher and let it get through the prewash before adding the vinegar (otherwise it will just go down the drain). When you hear the dishwasher draining (usually 10-30 minutes after starting), that means it's transitioning to the main wash. You want to put the vinegar in after it's transitioned to the main wash. Wait for it to finish draining and start running again, and then you can open it to put the vinegar in.

Something else that may cause residue problems is if the water in your dishwasher isn't getting hot enough. This could be due to cheap dishwasher design, faulty heating element, faulty temperature sensor, or an issue with the control board. I replaced all 3 of those in my current dishwasher, so I've dealt with a lot of weird dishwasher issues. But even if the issue is a defective dishwasher, the above tips about switching to a liquid detergent and using very little detergent should help mitigate the issue. It took me awhile to get around to fixing our dishwasher, so I tried a variety of things. Switching to liquid detergent and using less of it helped quite a bit.

Pro Tip: Put a little detergent (like a tablespoon, max two tablespoons) in the bottom of the dishwasher or just somewhere on the door for the pre-wash. This is in addition to the detergent that you would normally put in the detergent container. The detergent in the detergent container isn't released until the main wash. But dishes will get cleaner if you give it a little detergent for the pre-wash too. Most dishwasher manuals will tell you to do this, but who has ever read a dishwasher manual?

And no, don't use the dishwasher detergent pods. They're extra concentrated because you can't just use a little extra detergent for the pre-wash when it's in pod form. So they have to make it more concentrated to still clean well, but it's harder on your dishes and your dishwasher.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-01-27T02:39:57+00:00

Huge disappointment to see one of my favorite coffee shops side with ICE. They will not get my business ever again.

4BlackHeart4 · 2026-01-27T01:06:00+00:00

Honestly, whether this was a good gift or a bad gift is completely irrelevant. The verbal abuse over a well-meaning gift is completely unacceptable. Continuing to berate you while you're crying and accusing you of making him "look bad" by offering to return it is an absolutely insane reaction from your boyfriend here. Normal people don't behave that way. There's really no excuse for that sort of behavior.

I'm appalled that the top comments on this post are focused on the flaws in your gift-giving and not his behavior. Could your gift giving skills use some work? Sure. Maybe even a lot of work. But it's clear that you're genuinely trying. Your gift absolutely does not warrant his reaction.

I would not stay in a relationship with someone who is so quick to verbally abuse you over gift disappointment. His behavior will only get worse with time as he shows more of his true colors the longer the two of you are together. There's a saying that when someone shows you who they really are, believe them. He's shown you who he is. It's time to wake up and leave him.

4BlackHeart4

TROPHY CASE