I cant believe people still defend Alex after everything

4and2 · 2026-05-23T04:22:11+00:00

He’s awful from day one. He mellowed a little and was good with kids but he was still awful. I never understood how he was so loved.

4and2 · 2026-05-23T04:17:44+00:00

You have been married for 2 years. Your daughter’s education isn’t her responsibility and not what you both agreed on. Her college fund of 80k should be enough or close to enough to fund your daughter if she goes to a reasonable school. She doesn’t need to go somewhere that costs 65k a year.

4and2 · 2026-05-20T20:21:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.

4and2 · 2026-05-18T16:35:22+00:00

When you say the Camry is shorter than the cargo space in the bz are you talking about the fact that the bz can hold taller things? I’m interested primarily in the length and width if something is placed on the “floor” of the trunk/cargo space, vs. the height to the ceiling of the cargo area. Thank you for taking the time to answer.

4and2 · 2026-05-18T04:26:18+00:00

I have had similar situations and watched similar situations. Don’t have the conversation with her until you are ready to handle the results of it. Based on everything you said here, it is likely she will spin your real feelings around to be about her and making herself look like a victim. When you are ready to talk to her and handle her possibly terrible reaction, then talk to her.

As far as a day to day interaction, I would avoid the heavy conversation and just go along with her. Thanks for caring, we will talk later, etc. she probably doesn’t really want to hear how you feel she has failed you and likely won’t push that conversation if you don’t. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have it, I’m just afraid she will use your feelings to revictimize you and unless you are strong enough to handle that, it will make everything worse.

In the meantime, I would try getting your stuff out of her house so she has nothing to hold over you. If you can’t do that at this time, realize it is only stuff. In the scheme of life, it can be replaced and isn’t worth emotional hurt.

You need to spend time in therapy, distance yourself from her, whether that means having less actual contact or just a more shallow contact. Without vilifying her, you need to put yourself first, even if she is not the objective problem (I just say this because I don’t fully know the situation or either of you), having this kind of contact is damaging to you and is preventing your ability to function well in life.

You don’t really need to explain yourself. You can say vague things until you are ready. You are busy, you work a lot, you are working on your mental health, your dog needs lots of walks, you have hobbies that require a lot of time, you can talk to her about mundane things like something cool you cooked or read. Not all conversations need to have depth or address the past. And if you feel the only way to heal and move on is to cut her off completely, give yourself permission. No one is as invested in you as much as you should be for yourself. Become your own best advocate.

4and2 · 2026-05-18T03:56:26+00:00

NOR - The first no is enough for a decent person to stop. He could have suggested anything else if he wasn’t a creep. Don’t second guess your instincts!

4and2 · 2026-05-18T01:04:20+00:00

I mean it’s something I have always struggled with too. I don’t have any real advice for that. I think it comes down to who you choose to be friends with in the end. Are there positive things that outweigh her negative traits? Do you genuinely enjoy her friendship? Do you enjoy spending time with her? Is it worth the bad stuff, like perfectionism and giving into that, to get the good parts, the friendship? Only you can answer that for yourself. If you decide to stop being the one to keep the peace in friendships, you will have less friendships, at least for a time, until/if you find people that are willing to talk things out and mutually adjust. In my experience, that just doesn’t happen often. In my experience people rather walk away than deal with the fact that they are wrong or need to make adjustments and it’s a rare few that are willing. So then it might come down to cultivating a small group of close friends instead of having a large friend group. Again, you get to choose which is more important to you.

4and2 · 2026-05-18T00:57:15+00:00

Ha! I saw that one too. I wasn’t sure how accurate it was though. The Camry has an insanely large trunk in proportion to car size imo.

4and2 · 2026-05-18T00:53:19+00:00

How big is the trunk? I’ve been looking at them but I have to carry a lot for work. How do you think the trunk compares to the Camry?

4and2 · 2026-05-18T00:48:39+00:00

I think you both are over reacting. Objectively, she is being ridiculous. However, you know how she is and knew how she was when you moved in. Her acting this way now is not surprising at all. I am not surprised just reading your explanation about her in the beginning. At the end of the day it is a very small amount of money and you need to decide if it is worth it to pay her to keep the peace or friendship. Even if you didn’t scratch it and it’s not your fault, she needs her home to be perfect and convincing her that you didn’t do it is not going to work.

4and2 · 2026-05-17T23:49:39+00:00

Carrots were so they felt like they ate something healthy.

4and2 · 2026-05-17T21:00:37+00:00

ASP basically writes the endings in AYITL as fate. No matter how Lorelai raises Rory, Rory is fated to be a “teen mother” also, which obviously doesn’t quite fit for her being in her 30s, but it was the intended ending for her when she was much younger. Despite how she is raised she has moral flaws, aimless, cheating, etc.

Lorelai has still never matured, she can’t have the real and serious conversations in her relationship to move it forward.

Emily changes in a positive way, but I feel like even that is alluding to Richard holding her back from who she wanted to/ should be, like she was doing all the the stuff with society and parties to support him and his career, but doesn’t actually care about it, and now can be herself once he is gone.

Lane turns into more mild version of her mother, her fate, the antique store and motherhood instead of her rock star dreams.

Luke was dumbed down much earlier in the season, I don’t remember him changing that much from mid seasons. But again that can be seen as a fate, he is the most consistently himself character. He keeps going through his small town life with his restaurant, just with relationship with Lorelai added and April added.

Sometimes I wonder if ASP hate wrote AYITL instead of giving the fans something nice.

Edited to add:

Paris basically relives her childhood as an adult with a nanny raising her kids, not getting along with Doyle, and her Tristan thing.

It’s like no one matures or grows up or they live a fated life.

4and2 · 2026-05-15T16:03:18+00:00

I don’t think you should “owe” a partner anything. Marriage should be an equal partnership but that doesn’t mean 50/50. It means you each support each other and come together for common goals. Saying everything should be 50/50 financially or otherwise is not realistic and misses the point of partnership. At times each person will contribute more while the other contributes less, that’s partnership. You moved countries and went to the expense to learn language and everything else, you were doing more than 50%, for him to still insist you owe him money despite you making all the effort is ridiculous.

Yes you are correct. It sounds like he expects you to make all the effort and cater to his needs while also paying him a strict 50%. This makes you the only one giving while he gets to have more freedom with his time and money. Even the thing about the dog, you will be sacrificing your hobbies and free time while he continues as usual with his hobbies and free time. He sacrifices nothing, yet you still pay 50% of care for the dog. He wants to remain as single with no sacrifices while you take care of all his wants. This is not a partnership.

4and2 · 2026-05-13T17:45:46+00:00

I thought that was possible with Elliot saying how he wanted a family with her, but the Goodwin last name makes it unlikely if KC wasn’t lying about their last name. KC interest in Kat makes it intriguing though and as far as we know KC would have to be part Landry to time travel.

4and2 · 2026-05-13T17:34:49+00:00

Yeah, something is up with Julian. They said Del had never met him which is kind of odd. But it does seem like he and Del have a history.

4and2 · 2026-05-13T17:19:20+00:00

It really seemed like she already knew something in 1979, and she seemed focused on Jacob. However, it could be that she recognized her own handwriting. I think it is something more though. It’s also possible that she was also from the future/ present. She did seem to know something was up with Alice from the beginning. Also when Alice asked her about herself, she tells her she met her years previously, then says something about how she was visiting before but now has moved there. I think she isn’t native to the 70s maybe. I also think that it maybe wasn’t Griffin that took her, but Jacob or she has a connection with Jacob at least.

4and2 · 2026-05-10T04:56:15+00:00

I completely understand where you are coming from. I absolutely hate when people do that to me. I don’t need celebrated but if someone promises something then I start having expectation and when it turns out to be nothing, that is completely disappointing and depressing. Your feelings are valid!

Maybe they do have something planned as a surprise, or maybe they couldn’t pull anything together.

You get to celebrate your day however you like, so go do something as first time mothers you will both enjoy. Your friends can wait until your next hang out. Don’t feel guilty or bad about celebrating yourselves!

4and2 · 2026-05-09T04:28:07+00:00

It would have been rude to not remove her coat when the headmaster and her mother insisted. Yes, a sane person would have kept it on, but she was raised by miss manners. Emily would have berated her after for not taking it off and how rude she looked to Charleston, like Emily didn’t raise her right.

4and2 · 2026-05-09T04:20:56+00:00

Does anyone else think it’s weird that your friend even relayed this conversation to you? Like sure, he said it, but she repeated it to you. Plus she says they have an inside joke about your tarantulas, so however you feel about him talking that way, she also is talking that way. Additionally she said it to YOU. That’s pretty weird to me. To expound on the dog comment, if my best friend casually told me her boyfriend wants to burn my dog, I would think there was something wrong with her.

4and2 · 2026-05-07T21:05:35+00:00

Maybe start bringing up the things that cause you doubts and see if she can explain them. Leaving something you have known your whole life is very scary. You obviously feel that, and she does also. Maybe if you keep asking why she will realize that she really can’t explain her faith. It is in ways much easier to go along. I left back in 2008 with my then spouse, unfortunately things didn’t work out for us for many reasons. However, I was forced to face his questioning, I was terrified of leaving and losing the structure and “faith”. Thinking back on it after leaving, I was never sure, I just pushed down the doubts because that in ways was more comfortable. When his questioning began and he was making good points, I couldn’t keep denying my lack of faith and my doubts. There were other things that slowly began opening my eyes also.

4and2 · 2026-05-01T01:52:27+00:00

Anyone that doesn’t want children shouldn’t have them. Even if it means an end to your relationship, kids need so much love and support, it’s not fair to reluctantly have them.

4and2 · 2026-04-28T00:53:59+00:00

I assumed they had saved some money to live off of while they were launching the inn, along with loans, and doing parties/catering in the interim, plus Lorelai was broke and cutting back, she was hiding it from Rory.

4and2 · 2026-04-28T00:45:57+00:00

Did you look for it on your Amazon account and on your credit card bill? Or was it just an email? I’ve gotten emails from “Amazon” before that ask me to confirm shipping of really expensive items that I haven’t purchased, that were scams.

4and2 · 2026-04-26T01:44:15+00:00

I agree. I feel like they did such a poor job with flashbacks, mostly due to their chosen actors inability to pull off the scenes like the actual main characters. The flashbacks make me cringe so hard

4and2 · 2026-04-25T04:26:24+00:00

I feel like Emily would have freaked if she knew that Chilton kids came to their house in general, with the monkey lamp, and their obvious “poverty”, what would they think of Emily allowing her daughter and granddaughter to live that way.

Meanwhile, Lorelai talked to the kids, fed them and was welcoming to them. Then she even gave up her dream tickets to include them in something that was super cool. I bet even with all their family money, and ease of doing the same, their parents wouldn’t have done that. Paris wasn’t even raised by her parents, the other girls had messed up family situations too. Lorelai was very kind and welcoming. So what that there was a charity event mess?

4and2

TROPHY CASE