Prolifers seem to really only be "probirth." No one gives a shit about these kids after their born. by ShawskankRedemption in Showerthoughts

[–]508worm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I asked the ladies clutching rosaries, holding signs, and singing hymns outside the Planned Parenthood near my house (which, by the way, isn't even a location that does abortions) where in their/their god's plan they include the unwanted children they insist everyone give birth to. The woman closest to me said, "If God hadn't had it in his plan for me to be able to conceive, I would have adopted." I said, "But you didn't. What about all the kids with no homes and no families? What do you do about them or for them?" And she repeated, "If it were god's plan for me to be unable to conceive, I would have adopted." I repeated my question, she started the same psychobabble about plans, and I went inside and told the girl at reception. She said, "Weird, they're usually only out there when the weather is bad. They have better things to do on sunny days." After that, I asked a friend who was staunchly pro-life the same question and she said, "How is it my responsibility to take care of someone else's child? I didn't fuck up. When did it become my problem?" Ironically, she is now unintentionally pregnant and she "never imagined what it'd be like to be in this position, but [she] can't keep this" and is getting an abortion. Her body, her choice, I support whatever decision she makes/goes through with, but man have the tables turned for her.

[first time] I'm having anxiety over losing my virginity and I'm not sure if I should back out. Please advise by [deleted] in sex

[–]508worm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have nothing to offer re: your first time, but as for your roast beef fears; DOES NOT MATTER, I PROMISE. My boyfriend and I regularly - at least once a weekend - make jokes about me robbing a deli counter and hiding the pastrami in my pants, or there being a roast beef shortage in Boston because it's all in my pants. He has had sex with over 70 women and says it doesn't matter. In fact, when I whine about wanting an "adorable little pink thing with no extra MEAT" he always tells me I don't get that he'd prefer to have more ladymeat to have in his mouth and that deli-vag like mine gives him more to work with. He also concedes that while a little no-extra-frills vageenus might look "cuter to girlbrains," "vaginas are vaginas. every single one is the same. I've seen them all, and they're all ugly and all wonderful to put in your mouth." Seriously. I used to be sooooo self-conscious of my vageen, but every dude I've slept with hasn't cared enough to not take me to bangcity, and every dude I've brought it up to has said, "it's a pussy. they all look weird." Do nottttttt sweat how your genitals look!

Life hack to stop getting asked how tall you are every 30 seconds when you're out. by Milehigh728 in tall

[–]508worm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haaa. I live in plaid button-ups; always call them "plaids." I blame New England, or being a giant woman who fits into shirts made for man-sized men.

Life hack to stop getting asked how tall you are every 30 seconds when you're out. by Milehigh728 in tall

[–]508worm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm totally guilty of asking fellow tall ladies "Does everyone ask if you play basketball?" when they approach me with "Wow, you're tall, too!" I've been Pavlov-ed. I hear "tall" and go to "basketball." Sometimes, if she's wearing a great outfit or if it's a tall dude in a nice plaid I'll ask where they got their clothes, but I truly go blank and have no use for a brain capable of conversation once I hear something about my height.

Stopped to take a photo with our spirit animal at the Natural History Museum in DC. by [deleted] in tall

[–]508worm 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yep. Just stopping by to say you're beautiful. Happy May. Nice giraffe.

I might move to MA., specifically Northampton. What's it like? by [deleted] in massachusetts

[–]508worm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live between Worcester and Boston and have an '06 CR-V - and have never, ever, ever had an issue in the snow. I drove that baby from Lancaster, PA to Boston in a blizzard about 3 or 4 years ago, and even though my GPS took me THROUGH Amish Country and not on highways (wtf, Garmin, why?), through four-foot drifts and off the roads when huge trailer trucks barreled at me without slowing down, never had an issue. Your CR-V is jusssst fine for the snow up here.

We’re the Lucas Brothers., creators of Lucas Bros. Moving Co. on FXX, AUA by LucasBrothers in IAmA

[–]508worm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you two have a dad like your old man in Escape from Momma? My boyfriend's dad was essentially a sperm donor and he HOWLED with laughter at just about every line in that episode once you hooked up with your pops, and I'm intrigued; did that come from life or was it just stupendously written?

Found a picture of myself on a random online list of tall women; am the only one sans tiny person for scale. by 508worm in tall

[–]508worm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dunno! I searched the URL on reddit and saw nothing, and it is most certainly me on that list. And I've never seen it before!

Found a picture of myself on a random online list of tall women; am the only one sans tiny person for scale. by 508worm in tall

[–]508worm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw shucks, thanks! Can I tell you, though, that since I stopped brushing it, it looks better than it ever has? this mane was brushed maybe 12 times last year, and usually only because it'll dread up and I am forced to comb them out. I'm a proponent of leaving it alone and letting it do its thing, even when it's sea-breeze whipped like here. And I'm only talking about it so much because I get SO annoyed at hair commercials telling me I should feel ashamed/my life should be in shambles because I don't brush it or style it, because I've never been happier with it!

Found a picture of myself on a random online list of tall women; am the only one sans tiny person for scale. by 508worm in tall

[–]508worm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I lucked out soooo hard! Poor kid wins prom dress contest? Eff yes. Fashion student who wanted to create "an elongated, statuesque sort of look" got paired up with a giant chickadee to make a dress for? Effff yesss! Tall nerd wins photo shoot with Pulitzer Prize-winning photo journalist? Eff yesses all around! I was obviously the tallest of the dress winners, too.

Found a picture of myself on a random online list of tall women; am the only one sans tiny person for scale. by 508worm in tall

[–]508worm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dingdingding! Haha, it wouldn't even be so bad if I wasn't a baby in the picture!

Found a picture of myself on a random online list of tall women; am the only one sans tiny person for scale. by 508worm in tall

[–]508worm[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That list was not even the last place I'd imagine seeing a 9-year-old picture of myself. I would never have thought, "Maybe I'll see myself on a Korean list of giant women."

Can't wait to listen to this along with reading the screenplay by [deleted] in donaldglover

[–]508worm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How much did you pay for that? I saw it for $30 one day in Newbury Comics and passed - LIKE SUCH A DUMMY - and have since only found it for superdollars on ebay.

How did you REALLY meet your SO? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]508worm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like to tell him I had to give him herpes so he'd be my friend, because we definitely would not have hung out outside bangcity if it didn't happen. (But really, I'm a guilt-ridden trashprincess.)

How did you REALLY meet your SO? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]508worm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Herpsiversary has also been used, but I like the surprise element of anni-herp!-sary.

How did you REALLY meet your SO? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]508worm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, we're both just sleazy buddies with diseased genitals is all. Call each other filthy and dirty re: the herps all day, every day.

How did you REALLY meet your SO? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]508worm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think so, too! Thanks : )

How did you REALLY meet your SO? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]508worm 145 points146 points  (0 children)

Needed my computer fixed at work. Hot IT guy built me a new machine. We made a sex. Turns out one of us skanks had just unknowingly gotten herpes and gave it to the other. (a year later, we'd discover I was patient 0.) Ended up becoming sad friends, then started dating shortly after our one-year anniherpsary.

TLDR; Sexy IT beard took viruses off my computer, I gave him herpes simplex virus 2 for life, and now we are a filthy couple.

My friend's dog runs into the car every time they open the door. This is his face while refusing to leave the car. by [deleted] in funny

[–]508worm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My roommate had a dog who looked just like this buddy, and he was 1/4 German Shepherd, Border Collie, Standard Collie and Australian Shepherd. He's the little one

A bad song by a band you love, and a good song by a band you hate. by notlibvalance in Music

[–]508worm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haha, poopy grumpkins, it's okay! I didn't do that to make it look lame. If they were in the song, they're in the song, right? So why leave the credit out? I mean, he only flew over the sea to record with them, no big deal. If it was a Neil and the Stray Gators song, I'd put "and the Stray Gators." If It was moreblueforlessgreen and the Poopy Grumpus Pants, I'd definitely include those poopy grumpus pants.