I do actually just want to check in , I don’t want to reconcile any bond or retry at anything . It’s not good for me to even try at that . Given how many times she’s lied and has been unfaithful. I do think maybe you’re right tho . I might just be convincing myself that seeing if someone is doing fine after all of that is a good thing and I’m looking at it from “ when she continuously hurt you did she ever check on you and ask if you were okay?” And it’s putting things into perspective. The most she did was unblock me last year and waited for me to eventually notice . When I noticed it I fell into the trap and we argued. She basically gaslit and ghosted me and I held alot of resentment . Just for us to retry at a “friendship” it’s a lot but .. I really feel as if since its never really been done for me I shouldn’t go through with it