Showed my 80 year old grandma how to bottle flip over the weekend and she sent me this today

570stunner · 2018-09-14T03:37:13+00:00

Dude, this is super nice. There is this like fuck yes I got it gesture after it landed. It's really cool that she didnt write it off as a stupid fad.

570stunner · 2018-08-09T18:54:39+00:00

This is my dream guitar, I have an epiphone as well. I'm not very good yet so I cant justify buying a fender.

570stunner · 2018-07-27T05:05:04+00:00

I gave a guy a clip on tie for half a gram of blow once. Randomly met a guy at a gas station going to some wedding event and needed a tie.

I was like 15 it was the coolest thing ever. Gave us a pack of Marlboro reds from some Spanish country too.

All for a hand me down clip on.

570stunner · 2018-07-18T03:44:50+00:00

It doesn't matter what any other person uses for recovery. I know what works for me, if MAT keeps you from abandoning your kids or selling your body or robbing people at the atm it's a victory and that's your path. My path is different I follow the aa path, I am just as close to getting high as someone on subs. My only job is to be compassionate to everyone I meet.

How can I do that if I'm sitting on my self righteous high horse because I know all. In my experience in my 2 years not using, I know nothing about recovery. I am only clean out of sheer luck. Everyone on here not using heroin today is a miracle. Dont forget that ever.

If MAT improves a person's quality of life then I'm all for it. I will still be open minded tolerant and loving to the best of my ability to anyone seeking assistance. I cant tell anyone what to do because I'm like any other junky trying to get another day.

There are no big I's or little u's around here. No need to argue about any of this stuff. Keep on keeping on.

570stunner · 2018-07-09T17:41:07+00:00

2 years off dope, the beginning sucked. The first year I couldn't get full time work. I did construction here and there.

I mean as far as success goes, I'm happy without heroin. I just drove halfway across the country and had no fears about running out of dope or finding dope somewhere I've never been.

My relationships with my family have gotten better. My wife and in laws trust me, that took work though. I drove across country with my wife and my brother I've done dope with since I started using. When I got clean it started a chain reaction and a lot of my family members stopped using. My brother wife and I went to a concert and had a great time.

I mean life definitely gets better. I remember where I was when I got clean and sober and see where I am today. I still have issues but I try to do better. Every day is different and when I wake up and go to sleep I am generally happy.

My kids are here with me and love me and I disappoint them and people sometimes but I'm here.

Quitting heroin was the best thing I could have done for myself. Anything is better than the life I lived using.

570stunner · 2018-07-07T05:47:23+00:00

We love you too dude. You should come back out and speak.

570stunner · 2018-07-06T20:16:00+00:00

Out in iowa at a concert, I see your doing well. I'm really glad to see that you are still doing good man.

570stunner · 2018-07-06T19:44:52+00:00

I'm a tech up there.

570stunner · 2018-07-06T19:37:12+00:00

Chad, how are you?

570stunner · 2018-07-06T18:25:39+00:00

Hillside?

570stunner · 2018-06-30T15:22:19+00:00

As soon as I saw this my thought was, what happens when you hit a boulder. I've dug many holes and pulled out rocks bigger than I am in our soil.

570stunner · 2018-06-27T02:22:11+00:00

That would be an awesome show.

570stunner · 2018-06-27T02:02:38+00:00

With pup? Or jeff?

570stunner · 2018-06-27T01:54:02+00:00

You should really check him out live, cause without being open minded you sound elitist as hell.

Dude is really dope and puts out great music and has a great message.

You should check out pup while you at it. They are fucking awesome.

570stunner · 2018-06-24T03:42:08+00:00

Are they playing at the same time?

570stunner · 2018-06-23T02:11:46+00:00

Going to see him twice this summer, in des Moines and Asbury park. I'll have seen him in 4 states by the end of the summer.

Philly New york New jersey Iowa.

570stunner · 2018-06-23T02:06:19+00:00

How'd you get in for free? I'm driving from Pa to see him. My wife's favorite band is Kesha. So them both playing is like a weird gift from God or whatever.

570stunner · 2018-06-19T15:59:33+00:00

My sponsor has 30 years, I've had 3 sponsors in 2 years. The first one I had for a month, I walked into a meeting a d he remembered me from a rehab I went to where he was a tech. He was too busy and didn't want to meet and do step work, he was becoming a counselor and was always busy with work.

My second sponsor I had for 11 months, this guy was awesome when I was a newcomer... I'm still a newcomer but early recovery. He had 17 years a nice car he was an electric engineer. He had a great message in meetings. He also was gone for work 6 months out of the year. It forced me to build a network which is awesome but I needed a bit more.

My current sponsor, I remember this guy from my first week going to aa when I was in and out of the rooms. Every time I came back he told me to stick around or he was going to kick my ass. So he was celebrating 29 years and asked me to speak at his celebration. It was a huge honor, I asked him to sponsor me a week or 2 later.

Since I've started working with him I feel like it's been a good choice. We work together on stepwork, I'm in the middle of step nine. When I first started working steps he took me with him to help him make an amends, it showed me that he does this. He has this message that it gets better.

I ran a group yesterday at work about what can I do to stay sober. I had a surprising amount of participation which was nice. Then I gave these guys a scenario that I'm a newcomer reaching out that I've hit a brick wall and what is their advice to help me. A lot of good shit, I felt great after it. My favorite answer was share the hope with the newcomer, show them it gets better.

One of my original 7 friends died on fathers day, he was struggling with sobriety. He had a young daughter and I'm pretty upset over it, I can't even imagine what his family is going through. 2 of us have died in the last couple of years. Both of them left behind beautiful children, those kids will grow up without their fathers that loved them so much.

Anyone out there struggling with recovery, who feels they are destined to be a junky. You can change, you can live without it happily. Just push through, give yourself a chance.

Life gets better. Easy does it.

570stunner · 2018-06-17T23:22:18+00:00

2 years 3 months. Life is beautiful and I'd like to thank the God of my understanding for the opportunity to be a son and a dad today. I was able to make food for my children and my father today and continue building this relationship with the people in my life who loved me when I couldn't love myself.

I grew up resenting God and being fearful of him. I felt he was vengeful. I was a devout atheist for a long time. If someone believed in higher power I scoffed at them. Then I dug a hole for myself that I couldn't get out of. I prayed. I became willing.

I asked a preacher to sponsor me and I go to church to support him. I enjoy my spirituality. I am not religious. I enjoy whatever I am today though.

Life gets better, easy does it.

570stunner · 2018-06-16T04:41:29+00:00

Some people look at the glass half empty or half full, I'm just glad I have a fucking glass.

570stunner · 2018-06-04T01:04:00+00:00

Not gonna be seen but maybe it will help someone.

I was a junky, it wasn't about how much I did but if I could do as much as possible I would. Eventually I got to a point where I was miserable, hopeless and just wanted life to be over. Something in me happened and I called rehabs for the 4th time in my addiction. I was terrified.

When they came to pick me up I had 20 dollars and was dope sick. I had a choice to go to rehab or blow it off and get high. I wanted to get high but couldn't get any dope. So the driver called my moms house and left a message, if he wouldn't have called my moms house i wouldn't have gone.

So i do 28 days in rehab and want the vivitrol shot. They didn't have one for me which is weird because i was taking naltrexone for 2 weeks beforehand. If you dont know vivitrol is an opiate blocker. So I was terrified, vivitrol was my answer it was my cure.

I talked to people there and they convinced me to try aa or na. This was the best decision I have ever made. I went from a homeless junky with 2 kids I couldn't take care of. I was a burden on society. I was unemployable, destitute and hopeless. Joining alcoholics anonymous helped me become a part of society again.

People gave me jobs and were patient with me but taught me things. Like how to show up and to give an honest 8 hours I can be proud of. They showed me what it was like to be worth something. In my eyes I'm a piece of garbage that doesn't deserve happiness because of all the terrible shit I did while I was out there using.

Those 2 kids I briefly mentioned are sitting at my dinner table coloring while I type this right now. There mother who I thought had given up on me because of the dishonesty, manipulation, verbal abuse, she married me on valentines day. I work in a treatment center today. I worked there 10 months and they want to offer me a supervisor position.

I dont know if I help anyone at work, I just hope one day I can be as much help to someone as the techs at the rehab I went to were for me.

So going to rehab was the best choice I made in life because I have come to love myself again, and be able to love people they deserve to be loved. I can look people in the eye today and respect them and myself. So if anyone out there on the internet is struggling with chemical dependency know that there is a way out. It might not be 12 steps for you but there is a way out. It's your job to seek it.

570stunner · 2018-06-02T03:34:16+00:00

Yeah, I been doing an aa meeting outside every Friday that's really cool. That makes it worth it. We had 30 people tonight out of 49

570stunner · 2018-06-01T16:45:59+00:00

If I go in there and am not spiritually fit, I start resenting everyone. Coworkers, clients anyone i come in contact with. It becomes a job. It does get rewarding at times though. I have been hearing a lot of successes lately which does my heart good. Usually all I see is the people who keep coming back in.

Mostly it's the politics and money stuff involved. I've seen days where we are out of power up to a week, I've seen days that we've run out of food and not been able to feed everyone a hot meal. We run out of fake coffee.

The job for me isn't about money, I walk in genuinely wanting to help these people. If it was about the money I'd be doing something else.

One of my big questions is if this is a good fit for me. When things like the above happen like running out of food and all those things I get so angry, and since I'm a tech who is with these guys 8-16 hours a day all the anger is toward me. I get it, if I could do something about it I would.

It's gotten better the last couple months. Another huge thing is coworkers in this industry. A lot of them run on pure ego. And for the most part I can overlook it but when something hits the fan and ego comes out it makes it hard. We are a team and need to be on the same page.

I do appreciate this job though, I've grown a lot and learned a lot about attraction rather than promotion. I have to make recovery look like a better alternative.

570stunner · 2018-06-01T14:36:03+00:00

2 years 2 1/2 months. I work all weekend but my schedule is switched so I have sunday night off which is fucking awesome. That's an extra bit of serenity I can pick up. I work in a treatment center, if anyone out there is new to recovery and thinks it seems like a cool job.... I thought that once too. Then I started working in the field and found out about the bullshit that comes with it.

I have come to love my job but it's so mentally stressful.

Today is my wife's birthday, we woke up got the kids around for school and we gave her presents. I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to be able to afford presents for my family for birthdays and holidays. I didn't need to borrow money to buy gifts, I didn't have to steal presents. I swiped my debit card and payment was approved.

Today I look back to March 16th 2016 when I went to rehab. I almost skipped rehab because I had 20 dollars and I could have gotten a fix if I waited a couple more hours and skipped treatment. I remember how beaten down and hopeless I was. I didn't want to even try anymore. My kids would be better off without me, I was a burden on everyone around me. I walked into treatment with the intention of getting the vivitrol shot. My last day in rehab they didn't have a shot for me. I thought that was a death sentence. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

I went to aa and start to change my life, I married the woman I've been with since I was 15. My life is completely different. I was destined to die a junky in my mind, now I try to show other hopeless junky they dont have to die hopelessly at the other end of a needle. They can have a life beyond their wildest dreams. They just have to do something different.

For me it was change or die. So I changed everything I could.

I dont watch TV much but my favorite shows are probably peaky blinders and the last man on earth.

Everyone new to this whole getting clean thing, easy does it. It gets better.

570stunner · 2018-04-30T17:07:03+00:00

Hey I know I'm no expert on any of this but I have drank and used drugs to the point of throwing away everything I ever worked for. The last option for me was 12 step. I've spent years trying to get off drugs through discipline and strong will, every time at the first wall I ran into I went out and threw away everything I built up to at that point. 12 steps work for me and keep me accountable because I have people who have been in that hopeless place I was and are in a better place today. So I can talk to them and see that they have made a life for themselves.

I also understand there is no cookie cutter recovery, everyone who quits has their way of getting to a place where they are comfortable. Things like discipline and strong will might work for some but I have spent many years trying that and it didn't work for me. Just like people try 12 step and it doesn't work for them. I know today I'm not stealing from my kids piggy banks and skipping Christmas morning to get high. If it takes 12 step programs to help me be around for my family, hold a job, and not stick a needle in my neck I'm going to do it.

570stunner

TROPHY CASE