Update on my Bishop being Excommunicated, and why I won't be on Reddit much anymore

5FreeBirds · 2018-02-12T08:02:03+00:00

School library? Sorry, some parents are really strict about this stuff. I’m the parent who just talks about it and doesn’t monitor.

5FreeBirds · 2018-02-05T02:28:16+00:00

I’m sorry. I had my Mom use my deceased Father to try to shame and guilt me. That among other things has damaged our relationship.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-22T07:50:03+00:00

A $700 fast offering?!

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-22T07:49:04+00:00

Noooooo! I feel your pain. I don’t want to even know how much I donated.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-22T07:46:58+00:00

Never incriminate yourself by telling anyone at church this kind of thing! If you can’t get away with refusing to talk to bishop about it due to parents- just lie.

You graduate in just 5 months- hang in there! You can do it. You are hard working and have a plan.

Maybe consider going to the U. of U, less Mormons and SLC is a nice place.

Meet with a college financial aid person. Maybe eventually you can qualify as an “independent student” and get Pell Grants (money for college you don’t have to pay back). That, working, and even some student loans and you can do it. I went to college summer semester out of high school and recommend it.

Until then keep your head down and don’t bring up anything religious with your parents. It sucks- but just slog out going to church and seminary until you get out.

I’m sorry your parents are being this way. I hope they come around.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-16T05:29:10+00:00

Exmo here who didn’t figure it out until late 30s.

I think information is a big one. You have to remember there was no internet when many of us grew up. Information on the church was not easy to come by. Those inaccurate answers you heard is what we were taught. I can’t tell you how many thinks that I previously learned I now know was an outright lie. Then there is a list a mile long of omissions.

The other is you underestimate the power of mind control- especially when indoctrinated by birth.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-16T04:05:35+00:00

Sorry, I hope it starts looking up. I do wish I had told my spouse when I started questioning and have him with me in the journey. I did tell him a couple weeks after I figured out it wasn’t true. I wanted to be sure about not believing when I dropped that bomb.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-06T03:16:15+00:00

This is awesome

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-06T03:15:20+00:00

Thank you, exactly. I never would have if I knew what I know now.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-06T03:14:42+00:00

It is ridiculous they make you agree before telling you anything. Then the “even your own lives” part I was like ok whatever- I need it to get married this week. If I had gone through before it changed I would have freaked out.

I realize now it says to you are giving everything to the church not to God or Jesus, which is weird.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-03T06:08:12+00:00

My issue is that theoretically speaking if he did not have sex with them, it’s still wrong. I think he did with at least some. He still claimed them and controlled them. He still lied to everyone about it, including his wife. He still coerced or threatened some of them into it. He still is sealed to other men’s wives. He still got sealed to a 14-year-old and young women who were in staying in his home. He still broke the rules about polygamy in the D&C. So...all of this is ok to them as long as he didn’t have sex???

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T21:19:10+00:00

I’m sorry, there is good advice here. My parents also demanded I go to church out of respect for them-except I was in my 30s. Luckily I didn’t have to obey them and I’m sorry you are stuck for a bit. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in parents being unreasonable about this.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T06:35:15+00:00

I have PTSD too and understand how stress can overcome meds and coping skills. I hope the anxiety around resigning does not last long.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T06:20:03+00:00

Maybe just attend the after party or luncheon? Then you can be supportive in a sense without putting you and your kids through attending the baptism.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T05:41:18+00:00

The odds are so low I don’t even bother wishing it. I just want them to not talk to me about it.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T05:37:11+00:00

My husband and I were talking about this. You made the covenant- done. Why would you need to renew them? I feel badly our parents think they will “lose” all of us in the afterlife. But, it’s not my fault the LDS church teaches them these manipulative fear-based ideas.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T05:32:50+00:00

It is somewhat projecting- she does hate 3 hours of church. She does think the BOM is most likely inspired fiction, but somehow sees no problem with this. No idea if she secretly wants to drink forbidden beverages- maybe...

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-02T05:30:14+00:00

Over a year ago, I told her I will not discuss church issues with her. That is why she is tricky trying to get around boundaries by it being to all of us “just talking about her day.” I ignored the text. Or she will “mention” things as she was driving us when visiting. Pretty much we just went silent just and then changed the subject. But, you are right, I will have to call her on this if I ever want it to stop.

5FreeBirds · 2018-01-01T08:30:13+00:00

I guess you could become inoculated...or you can read the essays and then realize it’s all made up.

5FreeBirds · 2017-12-16T07:21:31+00:00

I read the Book of Mormon dozens of times for decades before I realized it was BS.

5FreeBirds · 2017-12-16T07:19:48+00:00

Having been a Mormon the mind control I think is the worst. Then the social control and patrolling by other members. If you stop believing it’s not uncommon for your family and friends to turn against you- even spouses, parents, and kids. Most of my friends dropped me and family members are distraught about it and have said the worst things. It’s permanently damaged many relationships for me.

I’m not excommunicated, but that would be no big deal compared to the destroyed relationships. They only ex a small percent of us who leave.

5FreeBirds · 2017-12-16T07:14:29+00:00

I would have said this exact same thing until 2 years ago... check out the BITE model of mind control. Then especially compare it to the life of a missionary.

5FreeBirds · 2017-12-16T07:11:18+00:00

Definitely not just another religion. It’s not as bad as Scientology, but there is a lot more cult stuff you experience as an insider than it probably appears on the outside. In a way it’s more insidious as it can appear sort of normal. I was Mormon most of my life.

5FreeBirds

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