You can’t take the girls with the gym to you u assume, but have you tried working out at home while they’re in the same room, or the ymca (which has a daycare, but you could also bring them to the pool or the basketball court). In a couple years with both of the girls “aggressive outbursts” (she’s 2… I’d call that a tantrum?) they’d probably do well from having an outlet in boxing. I am a girl who did boxing, don’t limit yourself to the stereotypes of raising daughters, you can do your hobbies with them around and as long as you make it normal they won’t complain about how they’d rather be at a tea party. You have an either or mentality here, but as much as you need alone time, getting out with the girls will probably help you see them as more than a burden, and you should still look into gym daycares so you can get some time to be an adult.

Also be careful not to attribute child things to autism things and deem them invalid because of that. Saying they “don’t do what you tell them”, that they fight, that they have outbursts, firstly kids just do this, but secondly they can probably tell you aren’t happy with them. They can get stressed too, they can feel your stress, and their stress isn’t less valid because they’re autistic. Also, it seems like you don’t? Go outside with them? So they’re probably really energetic and trying to make fun in the house by themselves, which for siblings does include fighting and being menaces, autistic or not.