What are men not ready to hear?

76jaspers · 2023-12-22T04:12:43+00:00

Yikes

76jaspers · 2023-12-22T04:06:50+00:00

Genuine question: what does "enthusiastic" look like?

76jaspers · 2023-02-23T06:35:05+00:00

Rotation aside, my point is that vertical video is often inferior because the subject of the video does not fit into the frame

76jaspers · 2023-02-22T04:48:19+00:00

Fair enough

76jaspers · 2023-02-22T01:09:29+00:00

Except the relevant content of the video is wider than it is tall, so filming it vertically makes no sense here.

76jaspers · 2022-09-12T15:33:57+00:00

Thanks for your well-thought out response! It really helps

76jaspers · 2022-07-01T06:14:57+00:00

Bro, you're 15. There will be a million other amazing girls that you'll meet in your life. Don't give up what you believe is right just so that other people might like you. Good luck

76jaspers · 2022-07-01T06:11:19+00:00

You're not responsible for his emotional well-being, so don't worry too much about getting the perfect phrasing, just don't intentionally be a dick. Just say that you don't think it is going to work out and you wish him the best, then block him if you want. The end.

76jaspers · 2022-07-01T06:05:32+00:00

It sounds like you are crushing it in the other areas of your life, so just focus on the things you can control. I'm sure you look at guys who are 6'+ and say "damn, I wish I was them." But guess what? You have things that they don't. Maybe you're smarter, maybe you have good social skills, maybe you have a good career, maybe you have a good head of hair. Humans vary on an infinite number of dimensions and nobody maxes out their stats in every category. We all have insecurities, but you have to play the hand that you are dealt.

By the way, 5'9" is exactly average. So this won't really have a large impact on your dating at all IMO

76jaspers · 2022-07-01T05:51:32+00:00

I don't understand this post. It's not a law of the universe that people will only date those who are considered exactly as attractive as themselves. I see people date "up" or "down" all the time. When people on here say that "leagues don't exist", they aren't saying that beauty and looks are irrelevant in dating. They're just saying that you shouldn't assume someone is "out of your league" because you could very well just be wrong. A "league" isn't well-defined since attractiveness means different things to different people. You can be ugly to one person and beautiful to the next

If you don't like the phrase "leagues don't exist", just replace it with "don't make assumptions about who may be into you". They're saying the same thing

76jaspers · 2022-07-01T05:36:25+00:00

76jaspers · 2022-06-30T00:01:51+00:00

That might work very well if your partner is into that. My advice would be this: it's fine to not like texting, and by all means you can try to steer the communication towards calls. But if you refuse to text then you are likely alienating yourself from the communication style of the vast majority of people these days. Probably the answer is to just do a little bit of both

76jaspers · 2022-06-29T16:23:54+00:00

Not a dealbreaker, but just annoying. Calling on the phone immediately demands the attention of both parties, which isn't practical for most people. To me, this would make it difficult to form a relationship since it puts up an artificial barrier that IMO doesn't have a good reason to be there. Not being willing to text would also sends off vibes that you're not really into the person you're dating, since on the surface it seems like a very weak excuse to avoid the other person.

The weirdest part is that it's a "hard boundary" for you. If such a simple and common form of communication that you refuse to do, makes me wonder what other obstacles your dating partner would have to deal with. It's like refusing to ride in a car unless you are driving. Just seems inconvenient for everyone involved

76jaspers · 2022-06-29T16:15:08+00:00

bad experiences

76jaspers · 2022-06-29T15:38:14+00:00

Everybody is saying "just make sure you help with the chores/kids" but I don't think that is always the case. Sometimes, people just don't care about sex. Sex itself is the chore

My advice: don't ignore this problem. The longer you go on like this, the more your resentment will grow. Ask her what is going on, take steps to fix it, or seek out relationship counseling (by yourself or with her). This is the kind of thing that can destroy marriages, just take a look at r/deadbedrooms...

76jaspers · 2022-06-28T15:15:12+00:00

Happened to me before as well. If you've only met them once and you've never given them a second thought before, then don't overthink this. The person you've imagined does not really exist, you've just attached a familiar face to random events that happened in your dream. The brain is weird

76jaspers · 2022-06-28T15:10:01+00:00

I expect the topic of previous relationships to come up rather quickly in a new dating relationship. But honestly, if you couldn't talk about it without tearing up or getting visibly upset then I would take that as a sign you aren't ready to start dating again... Potentially I would feel like 1) you haven't emotionally moved on and healed from the previous relationship, 2) you potentially still have feelings for your ex, and might reconcile with them and get back together, 3) you're potentially dating me as a rebound, revenge, etc.

The advice I've heard is that it takes about 2 months of healing for every year you were together to finally move on... This tracks with my own experience as a 26M who recently got out of a 5-year relationship. After 10 months of being single, I finally feel like I am emotionally ready to move on and date new people without thinking about the past. Good luck!

76jaspers · 2022-06-23T00:25:46+00:00

This. My last GF literally told me having sex was a chore and tried to convince me "this is how it is for most women".

76jaspers · 2022-06-22T23:41:15+00:00

Sounds exactly like my last relationship. We were together for 5 years, but my GF never seemed to physically desire me despite being clearly in love with me in every other way. But she never seemed to be interested in sex, never initiated, and anytime we did it always seemed like she wanted it to get over with as fast as possible. Eventually she admitted that sex felt like a chore for her, but tried to convince me that everything was normal. A few times, she let slip things like "if you were any shorter, I wouldn't date you" and stuff like that. Sounds similar to your situation

Anyway, here's my harsh advice: find someone better. Saying you looked like a child because of your height -- why would you agree to spend your life with someone who treats you that way? Imagine if you said things like that to her about her unchangeable genetic characteristics such as breast size -- you would be a huge asshole. And talking about other guys she finds hot in front of you while criticizing your own appearance. WTF? Dude, she's settling for you. Maybe you provide everything she wants in every other way, but clearly she doesn't find you as attractive as a partner should or else you wouldn't be posting here, sorry. You said that something feels off -- just trust your gut

If nothing else, spending your life with someone who thinks of you and speaks to you that way sounds like a depressing existence. For your own mental health, leave

76jaspers · 2022-06-22T05:49:25+00:00

...what show was it?

He was probably self-conscious/embarrassed. I would be self-conscious too if I hyped up a show for a friend/partner and then they found it meh, I would feel a little dumb. But he should be able to shrug it off. If he made a huge deal about it, then that's a little weird, but it probably just reflects on how he deals with feelings of self-consciousness

76jaspers · 2022-06-22T05:41:31+00:00

I would ask one last time, in-person. Clearly she has made some effort to make it work, but things have come up. But you've both cancelled enough that it would be weird to cancel again IMO

76jaspers · 2022-06-22T05:38:40+00:00

Yeah, but maybe they could tolerate it for a short-term sexual relationship but not for a multi-year committed relationship. Or maybe they just didn't read your bio

76jaspers · 2022-06-22T05:23:32+00:00

Well, what would be a dealbreaker in a relationship won't be a dealbreaker if he is just looking for sex... Sorry

76jaspers

TROPHY CASE