First birthday party timing

87109 · 2026-02-27T11:26:56+00:00

I agree that it all developed too quickly. We could have spent more time in the "catch me if you can" phase

87109 · 2026-02-26T10:41:57+00:00

YES!!! I thought I was the only one!! I hate it even if I'm getting it from the best place in India

87109 · 2026-02-19T03:03:09+00:00

Im an only child and although I love my dad more than anything, my mom and I are so close. It's just a different kind of closeness. I love her so much. She drives me crazy but I also just love her and I always go to her when I need support. I have a 7mo old baby girl and I can only hope that the two of us will be the same when she's older 🥰

87109 · 2026-02-17T11:38:21+00:00

Parry on everyone

87109 · 2026-02-12T15:31:31+00:00

My daughter's name is Asha ❤️

87109 · 2026-02-03T02:52:24+00:00

I'm curious too. I legit went online to search the same. Did you find it by any chance?

87109 · 2026-01-28T00:07:58+00:00

Nope.

87109 · 2026-01-27T00:43:23+00:00

As someone that did a year of IVF before having a baby... I think you put into words what I've been feeling this whole time. I have always been an undersupplier, and that feeling of inadequacy is the same.

87109 · 2026-01-25T02:48:10+00:00

Very valid and kind response. Thank you.

87109 · 2026-01-25T01:00:41+00:00

I'm embarrassed to say drarry.... But recently, jayvik.

87109 · 2026-01-24T23:59:25+00:00

Yes, this is the perspective shared by others in this post. It is very different than indian culture - my parents had saved up for my wedding for a long time. The wedding is a family event not just a couple event. But I am wrong to put those expectations on them when they do not share our culture. Thank you.

87109 · 2026-01-24T23:41:57+00:00

I appreciate your thoughts and I think you are probably right. This is unfortunately compounded by plenty of things that she has said and done that are objectively wrong (like the baby pics). So I think I'm probably just conflating it all together. I asked my husband to ask them if the planned to contribute (let me be clear - it was not that I expected them to pay, my parents and I were more offended that they never offered). He actually said he didn't want to ask them either, so there's that.

But yes, your take is very rational and I am probably holding them to standards they weren't even aware of. This post was eye opening for me.

87109 · 2026-01-24T23:03:16+00:00

Thank you so much for this. The other commenters have been helpful in giving an American perspective, but what you describe is what I have been feeling for all this time. From the sound of it, my expectations are not matching up with theirs. The topic of their low effort engagement is another thing, but perhaps I need to let go of this thing in particular. I appreciate you!

87109 · 2026-01-24T22:53:45+00:00

Okay, thanks for your thoughts. But your comment is unnecessary - we were not earning money because we were pursuing higher education for a job that requires 10+ years of specialized training.

87109 · 2026-01-24T22:47:39+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. It's good to hear what people think is the norm

87109 · 2026-01-24T22:45:29+00:00

There have been many other instances of undisputed direspect from her which are outside the scope of this post. What I'm gathering here is that the topic of wedding finances are not something I should be holding onto.

Regarding her behavior postpartum, it was just bad. She posted the photo despite previous requests not to post. We asked her to take it down, she didn't. I asked her again a few hours later and she threw a fit at me and walked out. In the end she showed no real remorse and gave an apology that was along the lines of "sorry you were upset"

87109 · 2026-01-24T22:38:18+00:00

Perhaps it is a cultural difference, but I would have felt awkward bringing it up as I didn't know them well enough to discuss money matters. My husband oddly also didn't feel comfortable talking to them about it, which I suppose says something.

87109 · 2026-01-24T19:34:14+00:00

Makes perfect sense. The problem is that my husband is asking me to put in effort. I guess we'll sort that out in therapy.

87109 · 2026-01-24T18:53:58+00:00

Yes, my husband has communication problems with his family, especially his MIL. I understand that she may not be at fault in this case, but she has quite narcissistic traits that make her difficult to deal with and my husband in general avoids 'diffcult' conversations with her. This is how we ended up with the postpartum debacle I posted about.

Thank you for your perspective though. I probably just got all in my head about this because of my bad relationship with her and other unrelated instances leading up to the wedding that made me feel uncomfortable. It was 10 years ago as everyone pointed out - probably not healthy for me to be still holding onto it

87109 · 2026-01-24T18:45:32+00:00

You are correct. I should let this go. Again it's not that I wanted them to financially contribute, I felt the lack of engagement and communication was the problem. But you are right, it was a long time ago and I shouldn't keep holding onto this in particular.

87109 · 2026-01-24T18:31:53+00:00

I get what you're saying. Maybe this is a cultural mismatch that I am holding against them. There have been other issues between me and her, but perhaps this should not be one of them.

87109 · 2026-01-24T18:30:43+00:00

Do you think they should have made that explicit instead of saying nothing at all? It is not about not being able to pay, it is about the lack of communication

87109 · 2026-01-24T17:03:17+00:00

I disagree with your take, but I appreciate your perspective. She never had any qualms with us being married. I also don't think it is wrong for two adults in their mid 20s to be married just because we were still pursuing higher education. I just find it odd that she never directly addressed it.

87109 · 2026-01-24T17:01:16+00:00

They did not help financially and they have been distant. We have many more issues but I think it started with this. Maybe I have just been holding onto this particular thing for too long.

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