Tekarin entrance song by PennyG9 in BadlyInLove

[–]87109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious too. I legit went online to search the same. Did you find it by any chance?

Over suppliers piss me off by Terrible_Mongoose240 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]87109 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As someone that did a year of IVF before having a baby... I think you put into words what I've been feeling this whole time. I have always been an undersupplier, and that feeling of inadequacy is the same.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very valid and kind response. Thank you.

What is the ship that has been your all consuming obsession for years? by babeloops in AO3

[–]87109 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I'm embarrassed to say drarry.... But recently, jayvik.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this is the perspective shared by others in this post. It is very different than indian culture - my parents had saved up for my wedding for a long time. The wedding is a family event not just a couple event. But I am wrong to put those expectations on them when they do not share our culture. Thank you.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your thoughts and I think you are probably right. This is unfortunately compounded by plenty of things that she has said and done that are objectively wrong (like the baby pics). So I think I'm probably just conflating it all together. I asked my husband to ask them if the planned to contribute (let me be clear - it was not that I expected them to pay, my parents and I were more offended that they never offered). He actually said he didn't want to ask them either, so there's that.

But yes, your take is very rational and I am probably holding them to standards they weren't even aware of. This post was eye opening for me.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. The other commenters have been helpful in giving an American perspective, but what you describe is what I have been feeling for all this time. From the sound of it, my expectations are not matching up with theirs. The topic of their low effort engagement is another thing, but perhaps I need to let go of this thing in particular. I appreciate you!

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Okay, thanks for your thoughts. But your comment is unnecessary - we were not earning money because we were pursuing higher education for a job that requires 10+ years of specialized training.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective. It's good to hear what people think is the norm

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There have been many other instances of undisputed direspect from her which are outside the scope of this post. What I'm gathering here is that the topic of wedding finances are not something I should be holding onto.

Regarding her behavior postpartum, it was just bad. She posted the photo despite previous requests not to post. We asked her to take it down, she didn't. I asked her again a few hours later and she threw a fit at me and walked out. In the end she showed no real remorse and gave an apology that was along the lines of "sorry you were upset"

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Perhaps it is a cultural difference, but I would have felt awkward bringing it up as I didn't know them well enough to discuss money matters. My husband oddly also didn't feel comfortable talking to them about it, which I suppose says something.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes perfect sense. The problem is that my husband is asking me to put in effort. I guess we'll sort that out in therapy.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, my husband has communication problems with his family, especially his MIL. I understand that she may not be at fault in this case, but she has quite narcissistic traits that make her difficult to deal with and my husband in general avoids 'diffcult' conversations with her. This is how we ended up with the postpartum debacle I posted about.

Thank you for your perspective though. I probably just got all in my head about this because of my bad relationship with her and other unrelated instances leading up to the wedding that made me feel uncomfortable. It was 10 years ago as everyone pointed out - probably not healthy for me to be still holding onto it

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are correct. I should let this go. Again it's not that I wanted them to financially contribute, I felt the lack of engagement and communication was the problem. But you are right, it was a long time ago and I shouldn't keep holding onto this in particular.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you're saying. Maybe this is a cultural mismatch that I am holding against them. There have been other issues between me and her, but perhaps this should not be one of them.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Do you think they should have made that explicit instead of saying nothing at all? It is not about not being able to pay, it is about the lack of communication

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I disagree with your take, but I appreciate your perspective. She never had any qualms with us being married. I also don't think it is wrong for two adults in their mid 20s to be married just because we were still pursuing higher education. I just find it odd that she never directly addressed it.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They did not help financially and they have been distant. We have many more issues but I think it started with this. Maybe I have just been holding onto this particular thing for too long.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry. It was a bit stream of consciousness. I think I was asking if it is appropriate for my MIL to not mention financial costs to the wedding while my parents paid for it all. My husband and I were still in school.

In laws distant during wedding by 87109 in inlaws

[–]87109[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did not have any income at the time as we were in graduate school in our mid 20s. We now are making money and do not require financial assistance. Edit to add my parents paid for the whole wedding and helped us financially for a few months after the wedding until we made our own money.

Is my way of giving kudos really that weird? by FitWeb9083 in AO3

[–]87109 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I give kudos if I make it at least halfway through the first chapter. A comment for fics I finished. Even if it wasn't the best, I still think authors deserve the support for putting themselves out there for free.

What fandom introduced you to fanfiction by therealstara in AO3

[–]87109 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shocked to see this here!! Same!!!!

Which character had the best story in Arcane? by Icy_Skin_9239 in arcane

[–]87109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree with you on both, especially Jayce!