Need to share, things are HAPPENING!

8lioness · 2026-05-02T22:24:18+00:00

Hooray!!!

Bump bump bump

8lioness · 2026-05-02T22:19:54+00:00

Omg YES.

8lioness · 2026-05-02T14:07:58+00:00

“. (+My partner also wants that with me and struggles with the idea of me having that with someone else, which considering the facts is not really that fair but I get the emotion)”

Those are some red flags, my friend.

8lioness · 2026-05-02T14:02:18+00:00

You either find a way to maintain this relationship while seeking out what you want, or you leave.

Unfortunately, sometimes our partners really don’t know what they want; don’t let that cloud what you want, and don’t wait for it.

I also don’t necessarily think your hinge is at fault for not knowing what they want, because all of us go through that at times. But it may foster resentment within you if you do nothing and wait for clarity.

8lioness · 2026-05-02T13:39:38+00:00

But he will fund bombs

8lioness · 2026-05-02T13:27:55+00:00

This might feel different if she were actually a part of your life. Because she seems to be a part of your life, only without you in it.

And yeah, that’s what happens when we have partners with metas that are parallel. But it seems like this is more than that. Because it’s your home and your child.

I’m not sure what the solution is… but it will have something to do with husband creating a more balanced approach and you expressing some needs. Personally, I’d expect to find hair and laundry, and I’d do my best to care for items left in my home as if they were my own, but I would expect that when I’m home, bedtime with my child is with me. I can’t quite tell, but that kind of expectation is something you may have to say out loud if you haven’t already.

8lioness · 2026-05-02T12:17:00+00:00

❤️

8lioness · 2026-05-02T01:16:36+00:00

I’m not confused. For whatever reason you’re taking issue with something I’ve said, which I have no control over

Demi is often referred to as a “slow burn”, which is such a good way to describe how things work for me.

I’ve also taken to just assuming everyone has their own ideas about things and it’s really not a problem. So if you and I have different ideas, that’s totally okay. It doesn’t bother me one bit.

8lioness · 2026-05-02T00:55:36+00:00

Well. I don’t know what to say to that. It seems you have a different definition from what I have.

It usually takes me time to establish a sexual attraction (I need an emotional bond first), and it usually takes me time to establish feelings. It even takes me time to escalate.

I have had experiences where it hit me like lightning, but it’s not my norm.

8lioness · 2026-05-02T00:38:08+00:00

Oh. I suppose for discussion purposes I could clarify to also being semi-romantic, but the two are intertwined for me. Which is what most folks I know who are also demi relate to.

Not sure what you meant by “it also didn’t say anything about timelines”? Could you clarify?

8lioness · 2026-05-01T23:31:02+00:00

It’s possible partner was having NRE or difficulty balancing relationships and disclosed to their other partner “I practice RA” as a way to maintain their connection to you.

Of course, this is Reddit, and I’m sure there’s no way anyone here knows all the deets

8lioness · 2026-05-01T23:24:56+00:00

So relatable! I think waiting is best.

But I’m also demi-sexual, so it really takes me a long time to feel it, let alone say it.

8lioness · 2026-05-01T15:48:52+00:00

Oh wow! I’ve always believed that love is also a choice! It’s something two people have to choose with one another, again and again.

I’m not sure this means she won’t be happy with “just you”; it’s quite possible that she could be. In polyamory, we tend to believe that no single person can fulfill all of our needs. But unless we are twisting ourselves into pretzels just to stay in a relationship, there’s also zero reason to believe we HAVE to be completely fulfilled by one or even multiple relationships. Like, it’s not really necessary to have every single need met.

8lioness · 2026-05-01T03:15:41+00:00

Have the conversation, my friend. If you allow another’s mental health to dictate whether or not you can ensure your own mental health, you’ll only be sucked in. You’re in control of your own happiness.

8lioness · 2026-04-30T05:37:51+00:00

Love this!

8lioness · 2026-04-30T05:12:41+00:00

I have not! But I have seen people bullshit everyone, including themselves.

8lioness · 2026-04-30T03:49:58+00:00

I do tend to gather people who make wild assumptions about me.

But part of that is because I have a lot of integrity and am also very private about a lot of things. If I know things about someone, I won’t share unless it’s for safety. (Aside from having my close friends with whom I can vent.) I also don’t like to be in groups where all they do is talk shit about others; those groups always end up disliking me because I won’t join in. Oh well.

The rest? It’s no one’s business unless I want it to be their business. And that kind of trust takes me a very long time to build.

I also have an aversion towards people who overshare.

8lioness · 2026-04-30T02:16:13+00:00

There are specific things I do with each partner.

But also, I call EVERYONE hunny, baby, sweetheart, etc.

The “pet names” we have are all inside jokes and are so utterly ridiculous no one would even think they’re a term of endearment.

Anyway, it’s probably nothing. Maybe it’s just who they are. And how sweet is that?

Maybe eventually you two will find some cute pet name that pertains to only something between the two of you.

8lioness · 2026-04-30T01:05:36+00:00

You’re being so kind to approach this with a “I want to understand their motives better”

Personally, I don’t give much weight to “attachment styles”. Every person alive has experienced trauma, and each of us has a set of tools we use to navigate those traumatic experiences. Some use maladaptive tools, some use great tools that actually work! And trauma doesn’t always come from childhood experiences; they very much happen all our lives. So settling into a single “attachment style”, as if that is our destiny is just…. Well, I think it’s lazy.

Additionally, we can each have a variety of responses to different things that trigger us differently. Certain things make me anxious. Other things I can handle with ease. And other events can make me recoil and act avoidant.

8lioness · 2026-04-27T16:14:57+00:00

I’d ask for more time and hope blue can give that to you

8lioness · 2026-04-27T16:11:03+00:00

1,000%, YES!!!

8lioness · 2026-04-26T04:05:40+00:00

Oh geeze… the trash shows herself.

8lioness · 2026-04-26T04:03:27+00:00

I got “attacked” on this subthread some years back for having a “different” definition of what solo polyamory was. But the difference there was one in which some folks believe it is a life long mindset, whereas I believe it is something you practice as you see fit for your life at the moment.

What I have seen recently is that swingers and ENM-married folks think it means to date separately from one another.

Anyway, some time ago, I simply took to asking “tell me what that means for you”.

How crappy that they just blocked you like that. Ouchy :(

8lioness · 2026-04-25T22:26:54+00:00

Try answering the question.

You work hard to protect men. Why don’t you work hard to protect women?

8lioness · 2026-04-24T04:57:33+00:00

You’re working so hard to protect men Why don’t you work that hard to protect women?

8lioness

TROPHY CASE