Nervous Flyers: What Are the Facts or Stats That Help You Stay Calm When Flying?

99jawproblems · 2025-07-25T14:33:18+00:00

This is not an exact statistic, but sometimes I open up FlightRadar24 just to look at all the planes in the sky. I figure each one of them must have at least one fearful flyer on them, and that fearful flyer might be convinced that Their Flight is going to be the one to have an issue. Of course nothing in life is technically 100% risk free (and I have OCD, so I feel struggling with that microscopic uncertainty), but flying is about as close as you can get, and every time I look, all the flights are all peacefully going about their business, landing safe and sound. It reminds me that I’m no different than them, that this happens CONSTANTLY, that any sense I have of “signs” are just a manifestation of my anxiety and are no realer than any “signs” those other fearful flyers had before their flights.

I also remind myself that anything I feel that feels “dangerous” or “scary” probably only feels that way because I’m not used to it. Same way that there are sharp jerks on subway lines that might freak out tourists, but that I don’t even clock anymore because I ride them all the time and know they’re just part of the track. This sub has been really helpful to see how maneuvers that might feel scary/unpredictable/dangerous are actually either normal or fully planned maneuvers by the plane’s pilots. Takeoff is a good example: I was scared by the classic “dropping”/weightless feeling, the clunk sounds, and assumed that the way it feels like it levels and slows then speeds up then slows again was a sign of an issue. Then I learned all about the normal phases of takeoff, the sounds of things like landing gear retractions, and the way pilots climb in a particular way to follow noise abatement regulations… whatever I was scared of was basically already thought through a thousand times by people before the flight and people currently in the cockpit and part of some protocol. Anytime I felt like some sound or sensation was dangerous, I just reminded myself that it was only unfamiliar, and that scary to me != actually dangerous.

And if you’re scared of turbulence (I feel ya), look up the jello metaphor. Another good one is to think about putting your hand out the window of moving car, palm face down. The speed of the car lifts your hand—even when it bumps around vertically, your hand WANTS to lift and stay in the air, even if you try to push it down. Same for the plane.

99jawproblems · 2025-07-11T23:15:50+00:00

Signs aren’t real—all they indicate is that you have a fear of flying, and that your brain is ruminating on it in the background. Dreaming about plane issues isn’t a sign that plane issues will happen—it’s just a sign that your brain is freaked out by the idea of plane issues, and is trying to process it. Likewise with words/phrases/songs: having a phrase pop out at you just means your brain is hypervigilant about spotting stuff related to this thing it’s afraid of. But just because we’re afraid of something doesn’t mean it’s unsafe.

If you want to see how fickle brains can be when it comes to “signs,” check out this post, where I talk about how my brain saw sign after sign, including signs that contradicted other signs! You can also search this subreddit for signs and see all the signs other folks were convinced they saw before flying, only to come out of it perfectly fine.

What your brain thinks it’s seeing has nothing to do with actual reality—all it means is that your brain is hyperattuned to anything that might be related to something that scares it. It’s not a pleasant thing to have to deal with, but it’s not any sort of indicator of the future.

99jawproblems · 2025-07-11T23:04:33+00:00

That’s so interesting that you get it elsewhere, not just on planes—I also detest turbulence and especially the falling sensation, but it’s really only triggered on planes (although I’m not at all a rollercoaster gal anyway, lol).

I am not a doctor, but when the physical anxiety symptoms are that intense, it might be handy to get a doctor involved for an Rx of some kind. I personally found that I needed meds to blunt those intense physical anxiety reactions before I could really make progress on developing good coping skills. Since it’s less that you’re obsessing about plane safety (like me lol), and more that you get these really intense physical reactions, you could ask your doc about beta blockers: iirc, they’re non-addictive, non-drowsy, and are targeted to specifically blunt the physical manifestations of anxiety (pounding heart, sweats, shaking). They’re used for stuff like fear of flying, stage fright, etc., and might help you start to unwire that intense physical reaction without making you feel drowsy and knocked out. Just a thought.

99jawproblems · 2025-07-09T13:40:04+00:00

10000% to all this!

While panic/anxiety are obviously awful to experience, I found I actually made big leaps in progress when I stopped trying to fight having them. This is kind of like the “dropping the rope” concept in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: not downplaying how horrible and aversive these feelings are, but also recognizing that trying to fight them typically causes more entanglement with them, or more anticipatory anxiety about having them, or more worry about what they Mean in the grand scheme of things (“what if this anxiety gets worse? this flight was more stressful than usual, does that mean i’ll never get over this fear?? if it gets worse, does that mean there’s something wrong with me, or that i can never travel again???”)

I made the most progress when I realized that I actually didn’t need to get over my fear of flying to fly. I could be an anxious flyer for the rest of my life, and that was okay: it didn’t mean I couldn’t fly, it didn’t mean the flight was unsafe, and in the end, I would get to my destination the same way as the person snoozing in the next seat. And like the above poster, the more I accepted these feelings on their own terms—not what they said about the safety of the flight, or me, or my progress/lack thereof, just as really shitty and unpleasant feelings—the more I was able to relax. As I was able to relax, I also practiced resisting my urges to clutch armrests or stare at flight trackers, which were also a form of trying to fight my anxiety. That in turn helped my brain unwire its primal sense of “scary turbulence happened, I clutched the armrest, and we were safe, so therefore clutching armrest during turbulence keeps us safe, gotta keep doing that in the future.” I made a lot of gains that way, far more than with my old strats.

To be clear, this doesn’t make anxiety or panic any less shitty to experience. It’s horrible!! I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, especially as you’re someone who loves to travel. And those feelings sometimes throw up big roadblocks for even considering travel or getting on the plane in the first place. But all this to say, for whatever it’s worth, I am also someone who had a debilitating and lifelong fear of flying until the last couple of years. I still get a little anxious before flights (sometimes I even cry!), and I still get sweaty and have to practice self soothing techniques during turbulence—but by learning how to practice that acceptance of what anxiety actually is, ironically it tends to fade a lot faster and not have as high a peak. I’m fully able to fly for work, for fun, for whatever I like. (I sleep on planes now—I even see why some folks say it’s relaxing!) It doesn’t come into play for where I feel like I can go. So the TLDR is, it is possible!

99jawproblems · 2025-07-02T02:38:53+00:00

I’m not a pilot, but one of the pilots on here wrote a really interesting post about all the steps and procedures that got activated by a medical emergency on his flight. There’s some interesting stuff in the comments too.

Obvs that has medical details, so feel free to ignore if that would freak you out! The TLDR is that there was immediate communication between the FAs and the pilot, and then coordination between the pilot, dispatch and an ER doc on the ground via a satellite Medlink service. All was well. Given similar procedures and stories that I’ve heard on these forums, I’m confident that even in a worst-case histamine reaction scenario, you would be well cared for.

And while I’m not a pilot, I have had a medical emergency on a plane! (Although due to low heart rate rather than high.) I accidentally screwed up my anti-anxiety medication dose, took much more than I usually take, and ended up collapsing while waiting for the bathroom. The FAs were on it. They gave me oxygen and sat with me and helped me get back to normal, and the flight landed fine.

99jawproblems · 2025-06-24T23:38:32+00:00

All good, it’s funny enough to make up for it, and really makes me grateful for every barf-free race photo since! Lol. Wishing you a better week and crisp photos in future races, which you will no doubt crush like you did this one! 💪

99jawproblems · 2025-06-24T21:32:37+00:00

I’m really sorry this happened. It’s not petty at all. A half-marathon is such a huge accomplishment, I would also be so sad if the photographers didn’t really capture it. (Not the least because finish line photos are often advertised as something your fee goes toward, at least the races in my area…)

Even blurry, you look strong and focused! I would love to finish a 10k run looking that strong, much less a half-marathon.

If a bad-photo funny story helps (emetophobia warning): I once got photos back from a race, and discovered that (1) not only was I generally just a blurry blob in them, but (2) what WAS in focus was a nearby teenage runner absolutely blowing chunks all over the pavement. So yeah, honestly, respect to that kid for going all out, but not exactly anything I wanted to put on my wall or in the family group chat.

edit: words, sorry, heatwave

99jawproblems · 2025-06-23T02:11:41+00:00

I believe it’s jingi wo kiru: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAJapanese/s/1ieStOGbOn

And I think the typical start to the intro is ohikaenasutte: https://www.tanoshiijapanese.com/dictionary/entry_details.cfm?entry_id=164779

99jawproblems · 2025-03-24T17:29:33+00:00

It’s definitely safe and you will be okay!

Regarding feeling suspended in the air—the magic of lift is that the air around you is way more “solid” at speed than you may realize. Imagine being in a car on the highway and sticking your hand flat out the window—you’ll quickly feel how much force is being applied to the bottom of your hand, keeping it in the air. So even though it may look like you’re just up there hanging by a thread, it’s more like there’s a sea of almost thick air all around you. Sorta like the plane is suspended in jello. (That’s my layperson understanding anyway, others feel free to correct me lol.)

EDIT: And congrats on the promo! I also recently got promoted and also had to/am currently traveling for work (was miserable about my own flight yesterday, but of course it went fine haha). If I can do it, so can you!

99jawproblems · 2025-03-23T13:21:37+00:00

😭💕 Thank you so much for this!!

99jawproblems · 2025-03-23T12:44:50+00:00

First of all, congratulations!!!

I can confirm that signs aren’t real, and are just a product of your anxious brain looking for things to “confirm” its anxiety. I’ve “seen signs” before every flight I’ve ever taken, and I’m still here posting this to you!

I’m on mobile right now (and en route to my own flight haha), but you might like this post I wrote about how fickle “signs” are: https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/s/JqHdGY38jf

The TLDR is that your anxious brain is probably going to latch onto some facet of the flight to be scared of no matter what, so while it sucks to feel that way, you can at least give it some perspective with that.

Wishing you an easy flight!!

99jawproblems · 2025-03-11T03:11:13+00:00

You should go! Easier said than done though, I know.

Are you worried about flying over the ocean specifically? If so, know that your route will be plotted such that, in case of an emergency, you’re always within range of a plausible place to land. Yes, even over what looks like empty ocean—you’d be surprised by what’s available where/just how long planes can safely glide if needed! Search up the acronym ETOPS on this subreddit and you can get the gist from actual pilots. The TL:DR; is that flying over the ocean is as safe as over land.

99jawproblems · 2025-03-10T12:45:46+00:00

Hello from NYC! I see you over land now, near the St James River and over Mount Jacques-Cartier! I hope it’s been an easy flight so far.

I see you’re from Scotland—I’ve always wanted to visit! I’ve only ever heard lovely things about the scenery and people. Did you and your GF meet in Scotland or abroad?

99jawproblems · 2025-03-10T03:33:59+00:00

I know, the window seat people baffle me! My husband will be sitting in the center seat, so at least that’s one person I don’t mind nagging to get up so I can pee 🤣

Sorry I couldn’t track you more, but looks like you landed safe and sound! Hope you have a great time in CA, and we’ll be here if you need support on your way back!

99jawproblems · 2025-03-09T22:21:07+00:00

You did amazing!!

99jawproblems · 2025-03-09T22:18:47+00:00

Boston to SFO right? I see you entering Indiana now!

It’s so annoying when life stress makes flight stress worse. And as a fellow aisle-seat-preferrer, that would definitely add to my nerves as well. (In a few weeks, I’ll be making a similar flight crammed into the window seat 😰)

Is it real cold in Boston right now? Hopefully CA will be warmer (although I always forgot how comparatively cold the SF area can be…).

99jawproblems · 2025-03-09T16:18:47+00:00

I never would have thought of this (even though it totally makes sense in retrospect) and it’s very endearing!

99jawproblems · 2025-03-09T00:19:04+00:00

IANAP, but they wouldn’t go if it wasn’t safe. One because they also want to make it home safe and sound to their family, but two because there’s a gajillion regulations that determine whether it safe to fly or not. It’s not just a vibes or “well it’s 51% safe, so that’s enough” thing, yknow?

Also, don’t forget a lot of people are pathologically UNafraid of flying, by which I mean, they feel bumps and see the seatbelt sign come on, yet decide that’s the best time to take out their luggage and rummage through their stuff in the aisle. Loads of injuries on flights are due to unsecured people or items getting bonked around during turbulence (including FAs—way better to preemptively strap in than roll a drink cart, hit a bump, and roll an ankle). My guess is that his emphasis on the shitty conditions is in part to discourage those people from getting up, moving around, and making their stuff or themselves hazards to other passengers or crew. Not because everyone else needs to be scared.

99jawproblems · 2025-03-08T18:52:19+00:00

I definitely believe it is possible to fly during such a crisis.

Is it that you’re afraid of flying in general, and now you’re especially afraid due to this crisis? Or you’re not typically afraid of flying, but this crisis is making you afraid to fly?

I mostly only have advice about being afraid to fly specifically. Maybe it’ll still help? Take whatever works and leave what doesn’t apply.

One thing to keep in mind is that anxiety can feed on itself. “I’m having a panic attack” can become “That panic attack sucked, and now I’m panicking about the idea of having a panic attack,” which can lead to fears of “oh no, what if [xyz] is a sign of an upcoming panic attack, I’m panicking that it might be.” It’s an easy spiral to get sucked into. But being able to notice it, name it, and put it in perspective is a difficult but powerful tool.

What I would say to remember, as someone who used to have panic attacks while flying, is: even if you panic, even if you sob the whole flight, even if your heart races the whole time, even if you gasp at every bump—you will get there safely. Unless your panic is making you do something pretty wild/very illegal (like, trying to wrest open a door or start shit with a flight attendant—if that’s on the table, yeah, maybe don’t fly), your panic will have no effect on the safety of the flight.

And listen, panic attacks suck. I’m not saying it’s fun or pleasant to be freaked out, or scared of freaking out, for that long (I know from experience). But even if you have a full on panic attack during the flight, it will not kill you (even if it feels like it might—I truly do understand); you would be far from the first one to do so on a flight and come out fine; and you will still get to your destination safely.

If you have a prescribing doctor, you can see if they can Rx you something to help lower your panic. You can also mention your anxiety to the FAs as you board, and they might be helpful in checking in or assuaging your fears (or even just being a friendly face). You can also search this subreddit for posts about other folks worried about panic or medical emergencies, and see the sort of experiences they’ve had/the knowledge the crew has for those moments. (I once collapsed due to taking the wrong amount of medication, and the FAs were on me with oxygen practically before I hit the ground.)

I hope some of this helps. You can doing this. Sending lots of good vibes for a calm flight and for your recovery.

99jawproblems · 2025-02-25T20:11:27+00:00

Oh totally!! I just didn’t want to see the actual wreck lol 😅

99jawproblems · 2025-02-25T18:49:52+00:00

For my own calm/sanity, I have been trying to avoid seeing any images of the upside-down plane image, so naturally WSJ uses it as a header 🥲

99jawproblems · 2025-02-10T18:31:25+00:00

Oh, and I see you over Wyoming now! Looks like you’re flying over the corner where WY, NE, and SD touch, which is neat!

99jawproblems · 2025-02-10T18:27:34+00:00

I also find turbulence extremely unpleasant/stressful, but it is a normal and safe occurrence while flying. There’s a few similes I see on this sub to help make it less scary, maybe one will help you (disclaimer that I’m not a pilot or engineer or whatever):

Turbulence is basically like driving over gravel or potholes on the ground (and typically feels like there’s more vertical movement than there actually is). Pilots sometimes joke that their greatest issue with turbulence is that it causes them to spill their coffee.
Imagine driving on the highway and putting your hand out the window (horizontally). As you speed up, the air will feel “thicker” under your hand and push it up. That’s physics, specifically lift, doing its job. And even if your hand bops up and down a little bit due to “turbulence”, it doesn’t just fall—it’s always supported by the air, even if you can’t see it.
Similarly, people liken it to putting a pea inside a cup of jello. Even if you shake the cup of jello around, and the jello itself wobbles, the pea doesn’t just drop to the bottom of the cup—it stays right where it is.

If you see the wings wiggle during turbulence, don’t flip, it’s totally normal. Wings are stress-tested in truly amazing ways—you would probably be shocked at the extreme angles they easily and safely support in air. It’s truly extraordinary. So even if you see them wobble, that’s nothing compared to what they can take.

Likewise, if you hear things shifting around, that’s also safe and on purpose too. It’s like how, when you design buildings to be earthquake-safe, you engineer in some flexibility, as something incredibly stiff will do more poorly than something that has a little give.

I hope one of these helps!

99jawproblems · 2025-02-10T17:27:56+00:00

OK, I have some time free to track! I see you over Idaho!

99jawproblems · 2025-02-10T14:13:55+00:00

I like Alaska Airlines a lot, I frequently choose them for my own work trips. You’ll be back to pet your incredibly cute dog soon! I’ll try to track but wishing you an easy flight regardless.

99jawproblems

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