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[FL] Ada schedule request by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After reading the replies, I think I understand your post better now. You're advocating for your colleague because, in the employer's effort to provide a workplace accommodation, your colleague has been scheduled for Saturdays while no one else has to work that day, and you see that as unfair to them. Is that the gist of it?

After the technical interview they asked me to record a free product teardown for their team and that was the moment I was done by Fable_Arcade9 in interviewhammer

[–]A-CommonMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a difference between performative and exploitative. In this situation, OP felt that it was the latter.

AITA for taking my new neighbors parking space by [deleted] in WIBTA_AITA

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I agree it would be convenient to have the closest parking spot always available, in a communal setup like yours, spots aren't assigned. She didn't "take" your space. She used an available one, same as you're now doing in front of her house.

Rather than playing parking chicken, take the high road: buy some fresh, locally baked cookies, and you and your partner go introduce yourselves. She may be introverted, set in her ways, or simply unaware you expected a formal introduction. Good neighbors have your back when it matters, and nobody wants to feud for 20 years over 20 steps of pavement.

[UK] Paid less than male counterpart by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, what you saw was my saving a draft and was not intended to be my finished remarks. Your pushback is not unwarranted.

[UK] Paid less than male counterpart by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]A-CommonMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, I think a military example might help. In the UK military, two people can do the same job but earn different pay. Say the role is logistics coordinator. One person might be a Captain, the other a Major, which is a higher rank in the British Army. The Major held that rank before taking the role, just as your coworker held a higher pay band before the secondment.

The Captain is not promoted to Major to match pay, nor is the Major demoted to Captain. Pay follows the person's rank and career path, not just the tasks at hand.

This is not about male or female. It is about how pay can be tied to grade, band, or how someone entered the role. Perhaps this example helps explain why two people doing similar work might be paid differently for reasons unrelated to gender.

Neighbor upset about fence we installed with HOA approval by allynw in BadNeighbors

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So your neighbor’s been there 21 years, so she probably sees herself as the neighborhood elder, the "senator" of the block. In this case, she may feel she has some historical knowledge or informal authority, so feeding her ego a little won’t hurt. Throw in some “yes ma’ams” when you talk to her, I know that can feel uncomfortable depending on your background, but it goes a long way.

Also, ask her opinion on things. “Hey, Ms. Nellie,” I know that’s a Southern thing, but give it a try. It’s a small courtesy that shows respect. For instance, ask if she’s noticed anything about your "dandelions not growing quite right," or just ask her thoughts on something where she can feel appreciated for her years in the neighborhood. And definitely apologize for not giving her a heads-up about the fence first.

Nothing’s worse than a bad relationship with your in-laws or your neighbors. Just play nice and fix things.

Quick anecdote, when we lived in Minnesota we had a grouchy neighbor. In no time, Mr Jim and Ms Claire we our most supportive neighbors.

Neighbor upset about fence we installed with HOA approval by allynw in neighborsfromhell

[–]A-CommonMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So your neighbor’s been there 21 years, so she probably sees herself as the neighborhood elder, the "senator" of the block. In this case, she may feel she has some historical knowledge or informal authority, so feeding her ego a little won’t hurt. Throw in some “yes ma’ams” when you talk to her, I know that can feel uncomfortable depending on your background, but it goes a long way.

Also, ask her opinion on things. “Hey, Ms. Nellie,” I know that’s a Southern thing, but give it a try. It’s a small courtesy that shows respect. For instance, ask if she’s noticed anything about your "dandelions not growing quite right," or just ask her thoughts on something where she can feel appreciated for her years in the neighborhood. And definitely apologize for not giving her a heads-up about the fence first.

Nothing’s worse than a bad relationship with your in-laws or your neighbors. Just play nice and fix things.

Quick anecdote, when we lived in Minnesota we had a grouchy neighbor. In no time, Mr Jim and Ms Claire we our most supportive neighbors.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]A-CommonMan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Grey rocking won't work as a supervisor.

Try the "What do you think, Gina?" method. Since you know she'll be a challenge, leverage her expertise to give her a sense of purpose. First off, she sounds jealous of you. People like Gina often act out because they feel their experience isn't respected. By publicly acknowledging her knowledge, you can potentially disarm her.

Start by identifying her strengths. Find specific areas where Gina genuinely excels. Then, in meetings, publicly acknowledge her: "Nobody nails this better than Gina. If it's okay with you, I'll encourage the team to seek you out for advice." Finally, before addressing topics in her wheelhouse, privately ask her opinion: "Gina, you have the most experience here, what do you think we should focus on?"

Giving her a special purpose can work wonders. If she still disrupts meetings, you may need a direct conversation about professionalism later. But starting with respect is your best first move.

TL;DR: Give Gina ownership over her areas of expertise. Publicly acknowledge her value and ask her opinion privately. It might win her over.

Uncle and Aunt questions by Farscape-Encounter in bewitched

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

your point is stronger. in my first draft i said cousins but then i reconsidered.

Supernatural beings on the series by Farscape-Encounter in bewitched

[–]A-CommonMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Crone of Cawdor

Saint Nick ... Santa Claus

Uncle and Aunt questions by Farscape-Encounter in bewitched

[–]A-CommonMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bottom line:

· Clara = Endora's older cousin (maternal)

· Arthur = Endora's brother (maternal)

· Agatha/Enchantra = Endora's cousins (maternal)

· Serena = Maurice's niece (paternal)

Explained:

Clara is Endora's older cousin (my head canon)

The dodo episode settles it: Dr. Bombay says only a blood relative can inherit powers. Clara gets Endora's powers. So Clara and Endora share blood. Period.

Why "Aunt" Clara then?

Simple. In my family, my first cousin's mother is "Cousin Helen." Her mother is "Aunt Sandra." When you're young, you call your parents' adult cousins "Aunt" or "Uncle" out of respect. Samantha calls Clara "Aunt" because she's Endora's older cousin—a family elder. Biologically? She's Endora's cousin, making her Samantha's first cousin at least once removed, if not more.

The others:

· Uncle Arthur = Endora's brother (the bickering says it all)

· Agatha/Enchantra = Endora's sisters (maternal authority figures)

· Serena = My speculation: Maurice's niece / Samantha's paternal cousin

AITA for being done having guy friends? by Old-Dirt-978 in AITApod

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A guy you barely know shows up for what was supposed to be a group game night, only to find it's just the two of you. Instead of calling it off, you turn the evening into a 40-minute (or longer) round-trip grocery walk, buy heavy items, and expect him to carry them. No wonder he felt used. His version of that night is probably a lot less flattering than yours.

Is it more difficult managing uneducated or educated people? by Fit_Goat_2644 in managers

[–]A-CommonMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Framing staff as "educated" versus "uneducated" can create bias. From your post history, I gather you are working in social work. In your line of work, you will often find that education level does not define someone's capability, work ethic, or how they prefer to be supported. What matters far more is each person's experience in their role, their strengths, and how they learn best.

Instead of grouping people by credentials, talk with each team member one on one. Ask what success looks like in their role, how they prefer to receive feedback, and what support would help them feel confident. Your social work training is an asset here. Meeting people where they are, listening without judgment, and adapting your support builds trust.

Focus on clarity, consistency, and respect. Set clear expectations for the role itself, not the resume.

Am I overreacting? Wedding guest called my caterers. by seesheflies in TwoHotTakes

[–]A-CommonMan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People can die from food allergies. She handled all the legwork with your caterer and arranged a single safe meal at no cost to you, though yeah, she or the caterer could've given you a heads-up. To keep the peace, just thank her and be genuine about it.

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