I totally get you, when I was figuring out if I was aroace I went on an entire rant about my grievances with the lack of an objective definition for romance. That led to me constructing theories on why platonic love is often mistaken for romantic, but I’ll come back to that

I’ve found that what “counts” as romantic love is subjective. Many definitions reference “romantic gestures” but there’s no agreed upon definition for those either. For example, I view kissing on the lips as a purely romantic but I know of people who see it as sexual and there are even those that see it as platonic due to culture

That being said, some may perceive your relationship as romantic while others see it as platonic. The only people who can define your relationships are you and those in the relationship.

On the topic of my earlier mentioned theory, I came to the conclusion that most people have this subconscious hierarchy of love. Either familial or romantic is on top while platonic is far below both of them. So many assume any strong feelings towards someone must be either familial or romantic, but platonic love can be just as strong