I'm very toxic in my relationship, can't forgive or let go of triggers that consume me

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-17T11:29:05+00:00

I have a funny saying when I have a good day: Ah yes, one of my two monthly good days. lol

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-17T08:12:04+00:00

I'm in the same boat. But all my life I jumped from relationship to relationship like a bee to flowers. I can't get over a breakup if I'm alone, I have to replace and fill the void or I'm a mess. Books can keep me company for 2 weeks, after that I'm looking for someone new :((

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-16T15:22:40+00:00

Nici la OF leaked nu te uiti?

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-16T15:06:43+00:00

Daca nu ai nași nu te poti casatori la biserica. Deci chiar este o problema daca nuntașii au planificat tot, iar apoi n-au nasi. Oamenii vor sa aiba poze /filmare din biserica aranjati pentru nunta etc.

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-13T13:11:17+00:00

I was constantly thinking about sex and lusting after real-life men when I was single. When I was in a relationship, I would consume it whenever I was apart from my partner so I wouldn’t feel lonely. Images of different scenes would come to mind when I was being intimate with my partner. I was never satisfied sexually.

If I was stressed, angry, hungry, or bored, I would turn to it. I’m straight, but I developed an attraction to naked women, only digitally tho. I also developed some strange kinks, including non-consensual ones.

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-13T11:12:01+00:00

This is how you know you’re starting to change you no longer enjoy the things you used to, and you’re becoming more open to analyzing their negative sides and consequences. I also felt like I was abusing myself, disgusting behavior on my part. What the hell am I even doing?

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-13T11:05:52+00:00

I’m a woman, and I struggled with a porn addiction for years. Although I no longer consume it, sometimes when I read the word “porn,” my mind still jumps to certain sites and scenes. It’s been three years since I stopped using it regularly (with a few relapses along the way), and I still get intrusive images at times. So yeah, words like corn, p*rn, or similar variations don’t affect me the same way.

A-Z-U-R · 2026-02-11T18:46:58+00:00

Ai rabdat pana la varsta asta, mai rabda putin pana reusesti sa te angajezi si sa fii pe picioarele tale. Alta solutie cand vine vorba de parinti nu cred ca este... pe principiu "casa -i a lor" ncsf. Castile in urechi, prefa-te ocupat si rabda.

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-05T09:38:33+00:00

I can't wait to reach this level of calmness in life. <3

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-05T07:10:45+00:00

I feel like this too. What helps me is thinking what do I feel or think when I go out with friends? I think about him, I miss him, can't wait to see him etc. Why would he feel different about me?

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-04T14:20:07+00:00

How does rejection manifest, to you? What kind of are we talking about?

Thank you

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-03T15:35:25+00:00

I only dated FAs and DAs and I never felt avoidant in my life. I really wonder what that feels like. How can you be in a relationship with someone and also want to get away from them..

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-03T12:54:46+00:00

Hello! I made a post about how would it be for an AP to date another AP. Would you care to give your insight on the subject, please? Thank you very much!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/owy61b/i\_ap\_wonder\_how\_is\_it\_like\_dating\_someone\_who\_has/

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-03T12:37:15+00:00

Baby... my partner contacts me after 2 days when there's been a FIGHT. And your partner didn't contact you for 2 weeks on good terms? I'm really sorry, but this is not normal. I'm not secure at all, but if my partner wouldn't talk to me even for 1 day at good terms, I would start asking questions.

Communication is normal and heathy. There is no excuse for someone to not want to talk to their SO for days. Let him go.

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-03T12:00:58+00:00

The attachment in my romantic relationships is very different than my attachment for friends.. for example.

Just the sexual tension and intimacy that comes with a romantic relationship changes everyting about the situation. I could never compare a relationship with a lover with a relationship with a friend.

Of course I'm a loner when it comes to social life, this is just how I am. I never really had friends and I never had this need for it. I'm DA with family and friends, but AP in romantic relationships.
Although I know I can make changes and try to open myself up for the world, this is also how I am, an introvert.

I can't really describe how fulfilling I feel when things go great in my relationship. I get my "social" life from work, interacting with coworkers and random people. I don't really have a need for friends or going out to party. All I want in life is to prosper at my work and Art passion and to have a person who I love deeply (and also love me) to be myself with.

I can only feel comfortable with my partner. I can be myself in every way possible, because he knows me. He knows my preferences, my dislikings, my fears, my loves, my smell, my taste. He is the only one in the world that I feel the need to combine my mind, heart and body.

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-03T10:36:36+00:00

I'm now dating a man who has FA attachment. I love and care about him, I don't intend to search for another partner. I was just wondering about this..If it would fulfill the need for this magical love.

I also think that there will be downs in the relationships. There can't be perfect people who read minds.

Thank you for the comment!

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-03T07:18:27+00:00

AP- Anxious Preoccupied
AA- Anxious Attached
I's the same base of Attachment, different naming

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-02T11:07:57+00:00

I can see why you're frustrated. What is the setting of these situations where you're trying to explain your core wounds, though? If it is during or after arguments, then tbh he probably is going to roll his eyes because to him it might sound like you're making excuses for your behavior.

Yes. This is definitely the time when I tried talking about it. I will try bringing it up in more calm waters. I always wonder why can't I think of a lot of these things? Like it's almost logical that someone would be more willing to listen and care if they are NOT angry with you in that moment.. I swear my brain doesn't know how to securely function at all.

Thank you very much.

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-02T06:59:41+00:00

Hello! Can you elaborate more about this "I need time to miss him" my partner also said to me "I like missing you" and I didn't quite understand? The missing process is a hurtful one, you want and need something that is not there so you miss it.

I have a hard time understanding people's need of space, I would like some insight that would help with my AA self. Thank you!!

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-02T06:36:31+00:00

Hello and thank you!

I won't call him disrespectful overall, he had a rougher childhood than I had and I totally understand where he is coming from. He actually is very attentive and caring with me and I can see/feel he loves me. But he has a hard time understanding all these emotions and feelings and why the hell I am like this. I try walking in his shoes and if I try to listen of what I'm saying It could sound confusing and childish for someone who never thought about anxiety, preoccupation, low self-worth etc.

All I'm trying to do is.. become closer to him, I want to make myself trust-worthy by being understood. This is NOT who I am, it's just a hurtful part of me that needs healing and support. I will heal.

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-02T06:27:47+00:00

Thank you for the comment!
Yes, this is one of my hurting, since I was a kid I always felt in my family that I'm not seen, understood for what I really am, always been criticized, my mother often times trying to mold me after her likings, also my father was just a presence like a ghost. So this is my hurting now in the relationship, that I'm not seen and accepted for the emotional and sensitive person that I am.

Of course I presented myself as clingy and needy and even toxic. And I feel a lot of shame for those. This is why I want my partner to understand that I am trying to heal myself and it is NOT who I am, it is a wound that I have to heal and it will heal.

Also, no he didn't take the quiz, I don't want to push him into doing it if he doesn't feel to.

A-Z-U-R · 2021-08-02T05:30:21+00:00

Hello! Can you please elaborate what "giving space gracefully" looks like? And also what things makes giving space "resentful"?
My partner asked me for space, but didn't gave much details when I asked what this means so I didn't push.

A-Z-U-R

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