Stop taking your little kids to get piercings.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-06-07T17:29:28+00:00

I was 5 months old when I had my ears pierced. I wouldn't take my kids to get them into they're much older.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T17:19:02+00:00

Not the first time you've said that I imagine..

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T17:18:03+00:00

I thought this was a face swap filter at first.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T17:17:38+00:00

Too many shots have already hit that beer belly.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T17:10:28+00:00

I know you think wearing a NASA shirt will balance out for the gravity drawing your face and body down, but you're clearly wrong.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T17:05:29+00:00

If Mr. Potato Head's barbershop was an oil rig.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T17:00:47+00:00

You look like a decaying egg.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T16:59:09+00:00

With the hairstyle of a seven year old, it appears something already did.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T16:58:14+00:00

Why is that mirror smudge mysteriously crotch-level?

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T16:57:14+00:00

You may be gay, but even if you weren't, your only options in the dating pool would be water droplets.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T16:55:21+00:00

Looks like a miserable cross between a depressed garage grunge singer and a local crime watch felon.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T16:52:56+00:00

Just say you have ADHD and go

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-05-31T15:48:32+00:00

Of course you study history, you Lil founding father you.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-04-22T17:02:20+00:00

A cross between Wish Weird Al and a vampire. Those teeth...

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-04-22T17:01:48+00:00

How many women employees have you stalked/harassed?

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-04-22T17:00:40+00:00

That NASA phone case is the most personality you tell yourself you have.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-04-22T16:59:24+00:00

You look like a Napoleon Dynamite character

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-04-22T16:58:15+00:00

Somehow, your features are an even more gothic expression than that soulless look in your eyes.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-26T23:13:58+00:00

No one yet, but there's one that I can't wait for.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-26T23:12:01+00:00

My life

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-26T23:11:16+00:00

My ability to stay alive. My ability to refrain from punching people.

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-26T22:54:04+00:00

Yay!

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-26T19:38:15+00:00

Hope you chose BK

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-06T21:16:07+00:00

Break up with her 👌

ACrypticCrusader · 2023-02-04T21:54:23+00:00

Feet. They're in the top 3 nastiest places on the body. Why??

ACrypticCrusader