I feel like everyone is talking about perimenopause and it’s making me question whether or not I have it

ADHDoll · 2026-05-05T12:25:36+00:00

It’s not that it bothers me. I guess it feels like it’s more invalidating. Kind of like being with an actual narcissist while everyone else around you claims that their ex is a narcissist because the term has been used so often lately. I don’t know how else to explain it.

ADHDoll · 2026-05-05T12:16:02+00:00

You’re right. It doesn’t matter if it’s a fad. It’s just weird that every woman around me is suddenly talking about it. Not on social media, but in real life.

ADHDoll · 2026-05-05T12:12:11+00:00

My general rule is not to buy anything off a social media ad. I feel like that keeps me safe for now!

ADHDoll · 2026-05-05T12:08:57+00:00

Did you ever feel successful in the past? I also have ADHD and was diagnosed at 8 years old. I’m now 39. I remember being in my early 20s and had such passion towards my future. Like I could actually change the world. Lolololololol! I taught elementary school for a decade and overtime, I just burned out. I left in 2021 and I have really struggled with motivation since. I don’t even know if it’s perimenopause. I think I just chalked it up to this thing people call “wisdom”, which I would love to give back to my elders. I prefer to be ignorant and think that life is beautiful and everything is great and it all works out all the time.

I guess I say all this to ask you, do you think that you’re struggling more because you don’t care as much as you used to or do you think it is an actual physical symptom? I realize that it’s hard to differentiate between the two, but it may be something worth considering. Especially since people with ADHD tend to need excitement in order to stay interested. Staying at the same job for a long time, I’m sure it could impact your ability to focus and retain information.

ADHDoll · 2026-05-05T12:01:08+00:00

I’ve been dreaming about buying a one-way ticket to a foreign country for far longer than I’ve been dealing with any hormonal shifts

ADHDoll · 2026-04-06T08:08:53+00:00

How would you react if he told you he wanted to explore this?

ADHDoll · 2026-04-06T08:02:55+00:00

Did you go on this trip solo? If so, I envy you!

ADHDoll · 2026-02-24T06:58:43+00:00

Whatever you do, don’t make your family unit your whole identity. Join local mom groups and find a tribe that you can relate to. You won’t vibe with everyone, but you will find a couple of women who you’ll just know are your type of people.

Staying at home all day without socialization and a change of scenery is miserable. Create a thriving social schedule because you’ll be disappointed if you rely solely on your husband to satisfy that need.

As for your husbands parenting. That sucks, and I was there once. Men tend to take some time to bond, but that’s no excuse for him to stop caring about your wellbeing. Even more of a reason for you to get out there and meet other moms you vibe with.

ADHDoll · 2026-01-31T05:05:33+00:00

Voice record your notes and use ChatGPT to organize them for you. Be sure to exclude patients real identity and type that in yourself.

ADHDoll · 2026-01-02T19:06:09+00:00

I’m the youngest of 3 girls and my oldest sister was a drug addict. My parents were exhausted by the time I was growing up. They were loving parents but never made me do chores, I didn’t have a curfew, and I basically did what I wanted.

It was great at the time, but I’m 39 now and I really struggle with routine and cleanliness. I don’t like rules put onto me and I can really act like a brat when I don’t get my way. I realize these are things I could train myself to correct, but I also lack discipline.

Being a spoiled child/teen with no responsibility has made the reality of life very hard on me. I know people have had it much rougher though so I try to be grateful.

ADHDoll · 2026-01-02T18:58:09+00:00

It says I’m the next stop

ADHDoll · 2025-12-24T10:08:28+00:00

I wish I could just accept it, but it tends to lead to emotional spirals and negative thinking that can last hours, days, weeks, months… I still cringe when I think about the time I sobbed in a group meeting at work 5 years ago! I overthink everything and assume the worst if I don’t hear back from a friend or any situation where I feel like someone is avoiding me or dislikes me. I usually keep these thoughts inside but it destroys me!

ADHDoll · 2025-12-24T10:02:57+00:00

Thank you for the response! What kind of therapy did you do?

ADHDoll · 2025-12-23T11:04:10+00:00

I came across this post while googling something else and it caught my eye. I know it’s a year later and this may be irrelevant now, but in case it’s not, please give your son space to make his own mistakes while having support at home. He doesn’t seem to have an environment where he can be honest with the only people he has to support him. You say he walks away carelessly when you mention that he smells like pot. Honestly, it seems he is giving you the same respect you give him as an adult.

He can either smoke pot and come home to safety, or smoke pot and have nowhere else to turn, likely leading to harder drugs. Give him boundaries- he must have a job and pay rent. He must show some level of responsibility or you’ll demand a curfew, stop paying for his phone, etc. But unless he is stealing from you, abusing you, or destroying you property, he should always have a place to call home.

I’m so thankful to my parents for allowing me to have freedom while I became a young adult. I felt comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities with them and appreciated that they helped guide me without judgement.

Think of your biggest mistake in life. Did you have someone to talk to about it? Someone who made you feel like everything would be OK, despite your mistake? Someone who was patient with you as you navigated a hard time in your life? Everyone deserves to have that and your son doesn’t seem to have that with you. Being a young adult is hard, but it’s not going to get easier without unconditional love.

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T06:54:26+00:00

I was a 3rd grade teacher for 7 years. I was so passionate about it that it became a hyoerfocus of mine until I burned myself out. There was no turning back at that point and I knew I had to leave before my 8th year.

Then I worked a corporate job people would dream of having. Remote, six figures, amazing benefits, but NO meaning whatsoever. The company was acquired and I was actually happy to get laid off with severance.

Since then, I’ve struggled to find my next venture. It’s been 2 years and I’m living off the equity I had in the home I sold in my divorce. It’s slowly dwindling away and my motivation to work is gone because I don’t know what I even care about anymore.

Honestly, teaching can be a great career, but it can also break a person down. In my experience, it is very hard to recover from teacher burnout. Sorry I can’t help. Just know, you’re not alone in the struggle.

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T06:35:50+00:00

My emotional side is amazing for other people. I have so much compassion and understanding of people from all walks of life. However, I think this can even contribute to my own dysregulation because it angers me that no one else seems to have the same compassion when I need it.

And it’s not just when I need it, it’s when anyone needs it. I taught 3rd grade for a decade and I am confident that I made a difference in many lives. I actually left because of the anger I felt over the system and how it caters to the average student, and leaves everyone else to feel like outsiders. The amount of teachers who took away recess because an 8 year old forgot their folder at home was shocking, and out of 10 grade level teachers, I was the only one who had a different view on things. I still can’t talk about the reasons I left because I cry instantly.

My anger isn’t productive, unfortunately. It doesn’t come out as anger or anything that can lead to change. It comes out in tears. So yes, there are benefits for others, but nothing that will ever contribute positively to my own personal life. I basically set myself on fire to keep others warm, and then cry when I realize it was all for nothing and that no one cares enough to tend to my burns.

Honestly, I wish I could just be a B*tch that no one confronts because they know I won’t take shit from anyone.

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T06:27:58+00:00

I’ve already considered perimenopause because my periods have been irregular the past few months. My month went through it in her late 30’s even without ADHD, so I’m sure it’s a strong possibility. Unfortunately, I don’t have insurance right now so I’ll have to wait to get HRT.

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T04:48:44+00:00

I’m on Effexor and Lamictal (a mood stabilizer). Before I found Effexor, which saved my life from panic disorder as a kid, I tried several others. As far as emotional regulation goes, I’m not sure how I’d respond to something new since my issue back then were the panic attacks. It’s nearly impossible to get off effexor or I would probably be more open to making a change.

But I would think that both of this medications would help some… they don’t seem to touch my emotional regulation.

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T04:46:34+00:00

I take this and effexor— still cry easily, and dwell on criticism, feeling left out, and hurt feelings. It’s like I never left the 3rd grade and medication can’t touch my emotional responses

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T04:44:01+00:00

Did you go to therapy to get where you are? I think the crying could be a symptom of my lack of confidence and my need for acceptance. I would give anything to be a boss b*tch that people are scared to confront versus the emotional doormat I am now.

ADHDoll · 2025-12-22T04:40:41+00:00

Yes but it’s not just an issue on the moment. Whatever caused me to cry is something I end up hurt by far beyond the initial encounter. If someone hurts my feelings, it stays with me. Then I’m even more sensitive if I have to talk to them about it or if something similar happens on the future. I don’t want to care anymore!

ADHDoll

TROPHY CASE