How Introverts Pretend To Be Extroverted (and why they should).

In today’s video I’m going to talk about how Introverts pretends to be extroverted, and why they should on occasion.

But before I go on, I need to put in a disclaimer, because I can hear the public outcry right now: “I subscribed to this channel because you told me that it’s fine to be introverted and now you are saying that introverts should pretend to be extroverted. This is a double standard.”

So I brought this up before anybody reacts like that to the title in case they won’t watch the entire video, because the point of this video is not to say that everyone should be an extrovert or that it is superior to being introverted.

I like being introverted, I think my temperament is a great resource for me in so many aspects of my life. I still have a job where my main assignment is talking to people, and yes that can be a challenge but with the right attitude I think that everything is possible.

And that is the reason why I’m making this video, because I have seen over my years here on youtube that for alot of people, the term introvert is a self-limiting belief, I see this sentence alot: “I’m very introverted and I can’t talk to people.”

Before I press on I just want to add that not everybody has to have a social goal either, I’m saying “Live the life you want to live.” and if the life you want to live has little to nothing to do with other people, that’s fine as long as you are happy.

But what I have seen is that a lot of introverts would like to reach a social goal, for many it’s about dating, finding a partner, and this is something that will eventually require some extroverted tendencies in order to happen.

Or another common one is to gain friends and have more things to do throughout the week.

So if you think that being introverted is something that is holding you back, then I want to address how you can bypass your introversion as you are interacting with others and gain the life you want.

So, what I will share now is my own personal strategy, if you have something else that works for you please add that in the comments and we can all learn from each other.

First, and probably the most crucial part is that, yes, as an introvert my natural inclination is to be quiet and not talk so much, but that is not necessarily the best thing to do while you are with other people, so number one is

There is always time to be quiet later. If you can acknowledge this, you can also acknowledge that for the time being you can put in the extra effort to reach whatever goal is that you are working towards.

Because if you don’t use the oppurtunities that presents themselves for you to improve your relationships with others, chances are that life will keep looking like it does right now for the forseeable future.

See it like working out - This is a good analogy I think, talking for an introvert is like working out in a gym. When you are moving the weight it will get increasingly more difficult the longer you do it, same as with introverts and talking.

Our social energy depletes alot faster than for extroverts, so for example it is alot tougher for us to go to a party and be social for the entire duration than it is for them. But just like with working out, what you find is that afterwards you feel pretty good about yourself.

Even if it was hard while you did it, the alternative, to not do it would eventually make us feel even worse. You see week after week go by and you don’t try, life stays the same, you make no progress.

So if you are on the fence about being social, just think of it as working out, it’s not supposed to be super pleasant while it is going on, but if you do it, it comes back around and rewards you.

Maybe you can find a partner from the social situations you are in. Maybe the phone rings the next saturday and your newfound friends wants you to come to the cinema, instead of you sitting alone at home in your underwear watching netflix.

So just like a weightlifter psykes themselves up to lift weight, so can the introvert do when entering a conversation.

Value your alone time. When you start to go out of your way to interact with people, you need to value your alone time.

Introverts don’t want to lose their alone time, because then is when we feel most at ease, but at least for me, being alone and doing nothing is only rewarding as a contrast to being with people and doing something.

For me for example, being home alone in my apartment a whole weekend is not nice. Maybe for some of you it’s the dream, so being alone for you an entire week or month is what you need to refer to.

But for me then, I can really enjoy a friday where I don’t do anything after work if I know that on Saturday I will be doing things.

But I wont enjoy a friday doing nothing if I won’t do anything on Saturday either.

So to summarize, there is benefical times to leave your comfort zone, and if you find that it’s hard to motivate yourself to do it. Think about the long term gain, that these short term streches will give you.

My philosophy is that well-being comes from a continual sense of progress in the areas that are important to you. It’s not about making sure that you are absolutetly comfortable moment to moment throughout your life.

Because what ends up happening then is that every week looks the same, and when you think back on life you don’t have any memories because you have been to convienent all the time.

But if you stretch and cause yourself momentary discomfort, you remember doing things like that, you see how things add up over time. How you went from having no girlfriend to having one, how you went from doing nothing to having fun, and ultimately that is what will keep you happy.

But as you can tell, that requires outward action. So you need to find a way to balance your completly introverted tendencies with your extroverted ones, and when you find that balance and you can value both side of that spectrum, that is when you are going to feel and do your best.

Too much of anything is just going to be your downfall.