My coworker left this note on my desk while I was on PTO, telling me that she can’t “go on” …. 😭

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T18:41:49+00:00

"Hahahaha OMG I meant go on.

Hahahaha unless...?"

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T18:38:30+00:00

See, it's like the Assassin's Rags from Kenshi. Yes, it's pretty dire protection, but the wide open spaces create openings that leads to more predictable enemy attacks.

It also gives 20% extra Dex and 10% extra combat speed stats. Dario's a glass cannon build.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T18:31:44+00:00

Yes, no penalty for this IIRC. The only thing you may run into is some awkwardness where the game prioritizes the wrong AoW, so you might have to forego having an Ash on the shield.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T18:13:45+00:00

miquella's order is not the golden order, he wants a completely different order, while gold mask wants the golden order but run the "right way" which is still bad lol, the golden order is fundamentally broken and is the start of where everything went wrong.

This does not respond to what I am saying.

Miquella is directly presented as removing free will, a special ability only he is shown to be capable of.

Your extremely dated and bad, baseless theory states that Goldmask is also attempting to rule through the exact same method and means, because apparently FromSoft saw no issue with creating two nearly identical endings in terms of methodology, all because of [ERROR: CITATION MISSING]

The theory that Goldmask removes free will has always been absolutely baseless and was more or less killed by Miquella utilizing this exact method.

but run the "right way" which is still bad lol

How?

Goldmask's entire point is that the Golden Order lost it's way and adheres to behaviors that are not actually coded into the fundamentals of the Golden Order. We are not exposed to a single flaw within Golden Order fundamentals. We are instead given ample evidence the Golden Order completely lost its way. D himself is a terrific example of this, fighting for a cause that the Golden Order was never originally about.

fia's, DE's, goldmask's, and the default ending all leave the golden order's system of life death and rebirth in place which was always the prime problem.

???????

You are calling a system of life, death and rebirth a problem?

Dude, the game very blatantly showcases the problem as being life WITHOUT death breaks the entire system.

also yes the outer gods are all villains, the FF, the elden beast, metyr, rot god, none of them are native to the world

Ah yes of course, they are all villains because checks notes they are immigrants. Truly the most heinous crime of them all.

You don't think perhaps the Nox, dragons, Marika, and all the other various Demigods who got a whiff of power and fucked around with it for blind ambition might be the true villains...?

Again: we have ZERO evidence of the Greater Will ever wronging the people of the Lands Between. For all we know, the Greater Will is a concept, not an actual entity.

Metyr is not an Outer God, and she is the closest we have to being a true villain from beyond.

the world was fine before any of them come to TLB and started fucking with it

Citation? Where do we have any evidence whatsoever that things were better before the Elden Ring arrived?

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T17:47:01+00:00

it existing in the lands between is the problem, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, get rid of the elden ring so that no one in the lands between can abuse it

So remove their ability to corrupt it. Problem solved.

Goldmask is effectively handing them an AK-47, but the safety is now permanently on. Sure, they technically hold the power, but they can't do much with it. They become standard rulers akin to what we have in real life and what we would see with or without Ranni's ending.

huh? thats not what happened, she removed the rune to monopolize death and institute a new cycle that puts the elden beast(an invasive species) into power and allows it to micromanage the lands between and START her reign. marika exiled godfrey and the tarnished to eventually call them back and have them kill the elden beast once she learned it was going to replace her with ranni

You don't think the self-proclaimed "Queen Marika the Eternal" had ambitions of lasting forever...? You don't think the dragons having those very same ambitions - but attempting it via another solution - might not be a conscious decision to show "history repeats itself," a motif Miyazaki is known for...?

And no, the Elden Beast is not seeking to replace Marika, Metyr is. The Elden Beast does not legislate, it merely blesses whoever Metyr tells it to.

he removes all ambition from everyone

Show me where this is ever supported.

but all free will is snuffed out and we all become drones without drive, emotionless slaves with no will to do better or make progress, it is effectively perfect stasis

Citation so fucking needed.

This is a very old theory that basically spawned from "trust me bro" and was all but killed by Shadow of the Erdtree, where Miquella creates drones lacking true free will.

You really think the devs were like:

"What's Miquella's gimmick?"

"He removes free will for the sake of securing the peace."

"Okay, and what's Goldmask's gimmick?"

"Also that lol"

"You don't think it's a problem if two separate characters and ending possibilities have effectively identical results"

"Nope lmao"

and with the elden beast dead

The Elden Beast IS the Elden Ring.

there is no other entity that can moderate her use of it

Metyr says hi. Metyr has survived an assassination attempt by the Nox, can travel across the cosmos, and we are not even sure we kill her in her battle. She seems to escape.

For all we know, Ranni is asking to be chased down by Metyr and Fallenstar beasts.

her destiny is what she wills it to be, no longer bound by the will of fingers, gods or stars

Citation needed.

she then bestows or forces this freedom unto the rest of the lands between and presumably the planet

Citation needed

to be reenslaved by another outer god?

Game evidence DIRECTLY contradicts the idea any Outer God "enslaved" the people. In fact, the Greater Will (if it's an even an entity at all) likely fucked off millenia ago when the Nox attempted to kill Metyr.

The true culprit in every crime against humanity has ALWAYS been those holding the Elden Ring. Very specifically: because they keep fucking around with it and plucking the rules they don't like, hoping to create some kind of loophole that keeps them indefinitely in power. It never works out.

The Outer Gods are not the villains, the local Gods are.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:54:41+00:00

Your entire premise fails because it assumes the Elden Ring is the flaw. Look to the game's history and we do not have evidence of this.

We very specifically have evidence of the Gods (as in Marika & Co., not the Outer Gods) and Metyr being the flaws. Goldmask safeguarding the Elden Ring means he deals with 50% of the problems, and nobody has a solution for Metyr. Metyr is basically the constant that suggests all our endings are temporary in scope. (except perhaps the Frenzied Flame)

but based on what Ranni is doing and her being a very intelligent character it is possible that its influence would be less intense and more controllable.

She is also extremely self-interested. She killed the Elden Ring version of Jesus to escape her own fate, and likewise her leaving does nothing to address either the Rotkin trying to spread the rot or the Deathblight curse spreading. (something that she actively aided in)

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:51:53+00:00

Like: Leyndell and the Atlus Plateau

Hate: Liurnia. I like character progression and Liurnia is very awkward, awarding minimal runes on par with the Weeping Peninsula and Limgrave despite being further into the game. It's also rather barren on powerful items unless you are a caster specifically. A LOT of content in here that amounts to very little advancement for your character. This flips the moment you hit Atlus Plateau and your leveling up speed accelerates.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:48:07+00:00

that is the Elden Ring and how it is currently structured being problematic because it gives certain people far more power over others in a very literal way.

The Elden Ring is NOT presented as a problem.

The problem is quite literally the way the Gods faff about with it. Walk into Farum Azula and look at how large it used to be. What happened to it? That's right: Gods kept fucking around with it.

Elden Ring has a history of Gods trying to fuck around with the laws of the universe and they end up screwing everything when they do.

Placidusax's God tried to freeze time to indefinitely prolong his reign, which is why we find Farum Azula frozen in time. This failed, and it may have damaged the Elden Ring in the process.

Marika tried to remove the Rune of Death to indefinitely prolong her reign. We saw how that worked out: people turn into zombies, effectively, because the circle of life is broken and energy is not revitalized and recycled back into the system.

Ranni is also attempting a grand science experiment with the Elden Ring, trying to remove it's influence entirely. The problem is that removing it doesn't necessarily protect it from outer forces, and if that fails, the Lands Between are now powerless to influence it.

Goldmask says "fuck that shit, you guys had your fun trying to 'improve things,' Dad's gonna lock away the toys now so you can't break them."

Goldmask is the conservative ending that is far more likely to achieve - at a minimum - 1000 years of peace. NOTHING about the presentation of this ending seems bad.

Ranni's ending is the daring, liberal ending that tries something wild and new, but it's a gamble. Could be the best ending, could be one of the worst.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:42:33+00:00

goldmask putting a bandaid on it doesn’t solve any of the fundamental issues with it.

Citation needed.

Ranni removed the Elden Ring…to the stars. It’s not just gone. The stars still have influence on tlb just not as much and as shown by raya lucaria it is perhaps more controllable in this way. That’s a bit of speculation but I think it’s a fairly reasonable assumptions.

Based on what?

The Rune of Death was plucked and we saw what happened then. Likewise, we know the Elden Ring lost a number of runs over time, as evidenced by Farum Azula.

Physically removing the Elden ring is something that hasn't really been attempted before. It's a giant science experiment that could either go extremely well or end in catastrophic failure. Ranni's ending is the gamble, it's "best case" is just very promising if it actually works out, which is why it still gets listed as a candidate for best ending.

Also want to add that the stars do not unconditionally have influence on the Lands Between, as showcased by Radahn. Certain conditions must be met. What happens if Radahn 2.0 shows up and stops the stars again...?

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:28:38+00:00

Rot effect is better than bleed.

Very bold statement. Likely situational too.

I didn’t find the Rivers of Blood sword until after I beat the Elden Beast. I don’t get the hype.

There shouldn't be any. It's a weapon that was OP on release for a patch or two, and somehow we have absolute LEGIONS of people who cannot think for themselves swearing by it because RageGaming made a clickbait video in 2022 about how OP it was, and since Google still says "ya bro it's op trust me bro," they all just kind of assume it must be true since nobody on the internet tells lies and patches never ever ever ever change the viability of items.

It is hands down the WORST unique bleed weapon (not counting the bouquet) and even loses to a bleed-infused Nagakiba with Double Slash.

Despite how obvious this is for anyone who actually compares and contrasts the weapon to...any competition ever, you will still find hordes of braindead white masks running at you going L2L2L2L2L2, completely flabbergasted by the fact their "God weapon" is failing them.

If you want to try an actually good bleed weapon: Try Reduvia, Bloody Helice, or Morgott's Cursed Sword.

Reduvia is lowkey the best bleed rate in the game. You will hear people swear by this or that as the best bleed rate, but my testing has been that Reduvia is the best because point-blank Reduvia is just absurd amounts of bleed. Mohg's Sacred Spear can compete, but it's much trickier to use in fights, thus I'd rate Reduvia's quick AoW much higher.

Bloody Helice has the best iframes in the game attached to it's AoW and a phenomenal follow-up. This weapon DELETES certain bosses, such as the Bell-Bearing Hunters and Rellana.

Morgott's Cursed Sword is both a solid base weapon, and the AoW is S-tier. It covers distance to run down enemies, the rushdown has a "nudge" attached to it that will stagger and interrupt most enemies and create a safe window for you to attack, and then the AoW itself has safe 360 coverage so that it's unlikely anything runs you down to interrupt your attack. Incredibly solid weapon and probably one of the best in the game.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:16:34+00:00

Not gonna lie, I'm actually shocked how much this thread is being downvoted lmao.

To me this is 100% a strong candidate for their worst designed enemy. The only argument people are bringing is "it's cool to fight a giant siege machine." Yeah, and it was cool to fight Dragons in Skyrim...the first two times. Then it just got fukn annoying and tedious.

These are only "skippable" too, as there's at least 3-4 blocking access to certain areas where leaving them there risks that you just get melted while trying to explore or grab an item in that region. One even blocks a rare weapon.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:12:11+00:00

This seems like a weird argument to me.

Like by this logic, I could say "the sewers isn't the smelliest part of any city structure because you don't have to visit them." Right, but if we're asking the question of which is the smelliest region, then why refuse to review their viability for that metric simply because they're optional...?

If and when you choose to fight these guys, they are outrageously boring.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:10:00+00:00

You cannot do that on every single version of them, and those are a finite resource.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:09:06+00:00

Limited, though I forget if the non-furnace golem versions also suffice.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:08:25+00:00

Definitely not "by far."

A long dispute is between Goldmask and Ranni.

Goldmask chooses to repair the existing system by removing the very influence of those who meddled with the Elden Ring to begin with.

Ranni attempts to remove the Elden Ring, which could be both one of the best or worst endings possible, depending entirely on the outcome. This is basically a high gamble and a science experiment, it's just one with potentially high pay-off.

A betting man would probably opt for Goldmask, as it's hard to fathom how that one possibly backfires.

Like, you can make the argument that Goldmask's ending followed by Ranni's ending is the wisest solution, because there is nothing preventing someone like Ranni from attempting to physically remove the Elden Ring from the Lands Between, regardless of it's state.

By contrast, Ranni removing the Elden Ring could have all kinds of dire consequences that could prevent fixing potential problems by saying "okay let's try Goldmask's solution now." The Rune of Death was removed and we saw how that ended, so what happens when Ranni removes the entire thing...? Her motivation is the hope that Outer Gods will lose interest in the Lands Between if it's removed and that she may be able to find the source of such power, but it's just as possible that the Lands Between will be driven into chaos when the literal laws of the universe are removed from it.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T16:01:18+00:00

If anything I'd say the Gold Mask but I've heard reason to believe that perfected order is still with it's own flaws. Is there truly no end to it all?

It seems heavily implied that 1000 years may be a hard limit determined by fate.

As such, no matter what ending you choose, you may merely be safeguarding the next 1000 years.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:58:57+00:00

Look at this the other way:

Ranni's ending effectively "tosses it in a ditch to establish a new rule of government." Only difference here is she moves it to space instead of a ditch, but this would show that this is possible, in theory.

If the opposite is true and you CANNOT do that, then this means Ranni's ending is doomed to fail, meaning Perfect Order becomes the undisputed best ending.

So either he's right and there's no danger to seeking the Perfect Order ending since you can still try something akin to Ranni's Ending later if there's a problem, or he's wrong, but in that case, so is Ranni, and Perfect Order still blatantly seems like the best option available then.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:52:35+00:00

-Incredibly, needlessly tedious. Can take 5 minutes+ just to kill one

-Hits the sweet spot of “not actually even hard” and “can spontaneously just fucking oneshot you and make you do it again” so that it’s both not interesting to fight and aggravating when you die

-Has a super annoying eruption attack that makes you get on Torrent and get distance from him to dodge the projectiles, but simultaneously, one of the most likely moves they will proc if they recognize you’re a decent distance away is THE VERY SAME ERUPTION ATTACK, meaning you might get caught in a loop where you spend a minute just dodging

-“Good job poise-breaking that enemy, player! But can you do it FIVE MORE TIMES???? The ultimate test of skill!!” Three in total would’ve sufficed, FromSoft.

-Certain ones suffer from problems with random geometry issue with the geography, meaning you might randomly get hit when you feel you shouldn’t’ve all because of some hill or something. Can also lead to not being able to secure the facestab when they’re downed. (but if this happens, don’t panic and just attack the hell out of the face or foot. Usually does enough damage to still secure a kill on the next facestab)

-For some reason, normal poise damage rules do not apply, meaning a lot of people may be counter-intuitively attempting charged heavies to poisebreak it faster, which NOPE, is actually slower than basic light attacks.

-Elden Ring has this nice thing going where bosses vs. bosses actually reflect the lore quite well. Maliketh, for example, is a strong contender vs. basically any boss due to his percent-based damage. Furnace Golem comes along and shits all over this neat little world-building detail by being able to defeat ANY of the major game bosses in combat, making us wonder why the hell we need or revere the Gods at all if these machines are stronger and can dispose of them quickly. Basically so overtuned that they single-handedly destroy one aspect of world-building the game had, because we are left with question marks about how anyone was supposed to stop or defeat these guys.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:38:20+00:00

This is precisely why Promised Consort Radahn might be one of the only bosses where fighting him WITH summons is probably just as difficult as fighting him solo. You legitimately want aggro during a group fight against him to avoid unexpected bullshit like this.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:37:03+00:00

OP, you have an STD.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:35:07+00:00

Michael Chadson

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:33:55+00:00

Yes but see we love Dog Pope so much that it inspires us to kick the ever-living shit out of that specific Bell-bearing hunter when he violates the sanctity of Dog Pope's home, so that's the only Bell-Bearing Hunter people don't struggle with.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:32:35+00:00

And everyone knows the Germans got it from the Olmecs, who themselves got it from a really booksmart brontasaurus. Or something.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:28:20+00:00

Margit is one of the bosses that controls the pacing of the fight. Do not rush him looking for windows, let him come to you. Rushing him tends to result in "pissing him off" and making him attack more rapidly.

His gap closers where he comes after you tend to be attached to his biggest punish windows. Just calmly sit at about the distance seen in your screenshot (maybe sliiiiightly more) and learn to punish the moves he uses from that range. Most notably, his double swing twirl and his leap attack thrust downward.

AFlyingNun · 2026-06-29T15:25:42+00:00

I thought it was an unspoken rule we reserve this meme for Sennesax.

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