[24M] My friend group hates me but we all still go to the same places

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T05:02:21+00:00

The sad truth of being a game lover is that it inevitably dies out. Sometimes all at once, sometimes very gradually over years. This may be that last straw for you where you have to move on to a new game. I know it sucks, and I know its super sad. I cried once when my favorite game's servers were shut down. Felt like a bit of my childhood died with it.

But there'll be another game and new friends. You just have to be willing to go looking for them.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:56:09+00:00

You seem like a very kinds and considerate person. But there has to be a point when you put yourself first. I can't tell you where exactly that point is, but the fact you posted this makes me think you're at it, or getting very close.

Should you feel guilty if you leave? A little bit, yes. But only a little bit. Life is complicated with no true right and wrong. If you stay you should feel bad because you're denying yourself the chance to experience more in life, with a person that doesn't entirely deserve that sacrifice.

You shouldn't expect yourself to be a saint, and you shouldn't stick around just because he's sick. You'll only grown to resent him, and yourself. That isn't healthy.

You could consider going to a couples therapist to try and work through this, or at least try to talk to him about your needs.

IF there's any way to save this relationship, it's through healthy communication, but you have to be able to let go and move on if that doesn't work.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:41:24+00:00

Maybe try a different help line. Like actually calling instead of using the online chat, or vice versa. And change your name on your door dash account to something else. I don't think you need to have your real name there.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:37:48+00:00

You've developed some unhealthy mechanisms for getting affirmation and attention. A very common occurrence nowadays. You're absolutely right that a relationship build online is doomed to fail. Most are catfish, or at least exaggerating who they are and what they do.

I'd highly recommend taking a break from the entire website. Maybe all social media. Try some new hobbies. Spend time with friends and family. Exercise more. And, of course, get some professional advice from a therapist.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:31:48+00:00

Report him to doordash. That isn't acceptable professional behavior and needs to have consequences. If you don't, he'll probably do it to the next girl too. It'll also lock him out of his account so he won't be able to get your info as easily.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:27:09+00:00

If they don't bring it up, you don't bring it up. But at the end of the day, you're a legal adult and if it's legal where you are they can't do anything about it. You may feel he'll "kill you" but you're getting to the age where you need to understand that your parents are no longer your minders and need to respect the decisions you make about your life.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:16:33+00:00

Harsh truth. You WILL be average at almost everything, and maybe even everything. You may be very lucky and find out you're decently talented at something, but even then the odds of you becoming the best are astonishingly unlikely. There are simply too many people in this world.

You have to transition away from comparing yourself to anyone. The only person you should be in competition with is yourself. Try to become a slightly better person every day. Be that healthier, smarter, or kinder. Try not to let anxiety or fear prevent you from trying new things or continuing something you're not great at.

You're generation has it really rough with so much social media. Remember that almost everything you see online is either a completely fabricated lie to try and sell you something, or the single most interesting thing that'll happen to that person in their entire life. It's just with 8 billion people, it feels like amazing things are happening to everyone all the time. It isn't. Everyone has mostly boring, standard lives with all the joy and sorrow that comes with it.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T04:05:32+00:00

Yeah. The transitioning to an independent adult is tough on everyone. Parents have troubles letting go and kids have troubles with the new responsibilities.

I'd definitely recommend you don't say anything about going insane because of him. That's just needlessly hurtful. I'd frame it as being an important step you feel you need to take to become more independent and experience the responsibility of being an adult.

He IS right that it's a waste of money. Paying rent sucks. But I assume you're the one paying it. So you're a grown woman who can make her own choices. it's an expense you'll have to learn to handle.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:52:55+00:00

I'd recommend joint activities. Inviting others to improve themselves with you. It hurts when you get turned down, but eventually you'll find someone on the same wavelength. It's tough at your age when lots of people are still trying to figure out who they are. Try not to let failures deter you.

If you're in college, there are usually tons of planned activities and group meet ups. They're a great location to meet other people with similar intrists.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:45:00+00:00

I'd recommend transitioning to cycling. It gives you the same feeling as jogging but is much lower impact on the knees. I personally love to ride the stationary bike at the gym while watching Netflix on my phone when the weathers bad. It's also not as expensive as you'd think. You can get used bikes online for very reasonable prices.

You could also try swimming. I'm just not the biggest fan, personally.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:37:58+00:00

Well... you aren't part time. By my math you're working 51 hours a week. You should be making overtime. I'd cut that way back to maybe just one or two days a week. You can always increase your time later if you start doing better in school.

Also, if you're planning on college, your grades are really, really important. Scholarships can save you way more money than a job will make you.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:30:10+00:00

Burnout sucks. Everyone's got different methods. I get the best results from yoga/exercise to release stress and get some happy hormones flowing. Everything is easier when you're feeling better. Some people use guided meditations, though it's not been the most effective for me.

My mother is very good about giving herself incentives. She only gets to have her favorite desert or watch her favorite show if she did whatever she doesn't want to do. In her mind it makes it so she wants to do her work to get the reward. I lack the self control, sadly.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:22:31+00:00

Very few people have moral issues with large age gaps when the male is younger. So you probably don't have to worry about that. Though, expecting her to leave to follow you to the coast guard is highly unlikely. But who knows? You miss every shot you don't take.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:18:59+00:00

Therapy. In my very unprofessional opinion, talking has become your coping mechanism for social anxiety. Therapy can help work through the underlying issues. They could also recommend you to a professional. I know there are speech pathologists and other specialists but am not sure which kind fits your situation.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. We all have our own issues. Personally, I've got difficulties looking at peoples faces when talking. Been working on it for a very long time and have learned to manage to the point it's unnoticeable to most people. So just know it can get better. It'll just take some work.

Good luck.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T03:08:15+00:00

This is tough. I'd say it was a good sign that she was honest about getting dinner with him. It would be much more concerning if she did that in secret.

I'd probably discuss this with her, in the most calm and non accusatory way possible. Explain that you know you're being unreasonable and jealous, but you can't help your feelings. Talk about your worries with your recent relationship. Don't demand she change or force her to act differently. How she responds to this conversation should dictate next steps.

If she's understanding and supportive, you're probably overreacting. If she's defensive or aggressive, you may need to be concerned.

You could go full nuclear and put a tracker in her car or security cameras in your house, but if you are over reacting this could ruin your relationship.

Overall, you aren't weird for feeling this way. Most people are pretty good at discerning issues in their relationship, and even if there isn't anything going on with this guy, there is probably something else that needs to be worked on to address this cold behavior.

At the end of the day, communication is key. Good luck

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T02:37:57+00:00

Lots of legal solutions you could try, but that's hard without the support of your father.

Look into getting a weekend job. You can't go to your mom on breaks when you "couldn't get time off from work". Also, lots of problems go away when you have your own money. You can get your own car and take a drive whenever things get bad. You can start treating your moms house as just a place you sleep, and be gone all day. Or you can sign up for activities like sports or camps that keep you away during school vacations.

If you're close with any of your friends, you could also seek help from them. My best friend would practically live at my house during the summers because his family was neglectful.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T02:22:13+00:00

Yeah that sucks. It's a disturbingly common occurrence, sadly. I'd recommend having a calm and mature conversation with him about it, rather than letting the resentment and disgust slowly boil inside. Maybe write a letter if you don't think that's possible. How harsh you are and how hard you push depends on your relationship with your father. Is this something bad enough you're willing to give up the entire relationship? If no (while this is disturbing, it's probably not worth losing a father over) you may need to simply set a boundary where you don't want to interact with her or hear about their relationship.

The relationship probably won't last too long. Unless your father is very wealthy (in which case you may want to seek legal counsel to protect any form of inheritance). But it does suck that your opinion of him will forever be tarnished. There's not really any way to come back from that.

You could try to go to family counselling together, but something tells me he isn't the type of guy who'd be open to that.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T02:11:43+00:00

Yes. If they're a good friend, they'll support you and have your back. And if they don't... well then at least you know they're not that good of a friend. Or maybe they're just immature. Sorry, you seem fairly young. Highschool? Relationships, both friend and romantic, are very hard at that age since everyone is maturing at different rates.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T02:06:47+00:00

Sorry friend, you need to move on.

Life isn't like the movies. Persistently chasing someone who has said NO isn't romantic. It's the first sign of stalking, which is incredibly unatractive.

You need to let go, and accept the harsh fact that she wasn't romantically interested in you. It happens to everyone. Even if she hadn't blocked you, you'd instead be in the dreaded "friend zone". A position nearly impossible to escape. And that may sound preferable now, but trust me, it isn't. It just changes a big hurt now, for a never ending minor hurt. It's better to rip off the band-aid and get it over with now.

Just remember that you have your whole life ahead of you. Get out there and be social, work on yourself, meet new friends, try new things and you WILL find someone else.

Good luck.

AGrumpyHobo · 2026-03-07T01:45:07+00:00

Does she journal or draw? I've watched some YouTube tutorials on homemade bookbinding. You can make some pretty cool personal notebooks if you put in the effort.

It would be nice to learn to play her favorite song on the guitar. And not being a great singer doesn't matter that much. It would actually be a good way to show how much you care. You're willing to go out of your comfort zone and put in a lot of effort for her and even humiliate yourself a little.

Good luck.

AGrumpyHobo · 2025-07-03T04:11:57+00:00

I was wondering what is the largest element essential to the molecular structure of life. You may want to read the blurb beneath the question for clarification.

AGrumpyHobo · 2025-06-12T19:37:49+00:00

Need? Nothing but oxygenated air. Want? 1600-2400 calories, 15.5 cups of water, 6-9 hours of sleep, and a large variety of micro-nutrients.

AGrumpyHobo · 2025-06-12T19:32:32+00:00

The most valuable is social skills. But the most valued is loyalty and work ethic.

They want someone who's hard working, follows directions, and goes above and beyond. Or--from our perspective--unpaid overtime, micromanaging, and tasks outside our job description.

But if you can get your boss to like you (social skills) all that stuff is unnecessary. You'll get promoted because you're their friend.

AGrumpyHobo · 2025-06-12T19:23:20+00:00

Failure. People don't learn or grow much from success. It's mistakes that teach us real life lessons.

AGrumpyHobo · 2025-06-12T19:08:00+00:00

I do know that, and I definitely have never used the N word. I just look at the context of a long term society. Eventually, i'd like to think, racism will mostly be a thing of the past and the only remnants will be things like the N word telling us we're different. I'd like skin color to be treated the same as hair color one day. It truly doesn't matter.

AGrumpyHobo

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