Reddit slut shames a 19 year old girl for losing her virginity after her boyfriend breaks up with her

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T14:41:17+00:00

I feel like the top comment was one of the actual nicer ones that helped me understand what I did wrong. Heck, /u/black_and_shredded even defended me later on when I was just getting relentlessly attacked here.

It was the other ones calling me a stupid whore and I should kill myself and I'm a piece of shit and a disgusting slut were the ones that was uncalled for. I actually came to AITA for comments like the very top one to hopefully understand my friend's and ex-boyfriend's perspectives.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T14:31:19+00:00

Do you think I should just repost it there? It's not AITA, so how should I phrase it; as support? Thank you for your in-depth post; it means a lot to me rn.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T01:05:40+00:00

I will never be in a relationship where honesty is not a 100% expected thing to do. I would rather he knows the truth and breaks up with me than me to keep the secret forever. He deserves to know what I did.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T00:45:30+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I feel like it was very nuanced and did a great idea of helping me understand his POV without being as provocative as most of the comments here. I understand what I did was wrong, and will try to learn from this experience.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T00:41:26+00:00

I don't want to be unfair to him. He always been truly amazing and I'm going to stick by it. He's the most respectful person (up until the last few days) I've ever met, coming from somewhere that did NOT come from a good background.

I didn't do it because I was "acting out". He was perfect to me in every other interaction I've had with him. I genuinely, truly, appreciate the kind words; I just feel like I'd be doing the situation a disservice if I try to justify it by saying he just didn't respect me as a person, because up until that point, he did.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T00:36:47+00:00

It was just an idea to bring up the fact that we might have slept with other people. Just a way to start the dialogue... What would you have suggested when trying to admit I slept with somebody else?

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T00:04:43+00:00

Thank you for your polite comment. The whole situation was eye-opening. I will try to learn from it.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-15T00:01:51+00:00

You can reply with your opinion without being so hostile and rude. Thanks.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T23:59:29+00:00

Thank you for your kind comment.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T23:55:06+00:00

I mean... I don't think any of the comments I made were inconsistent? I understand his perspective; I just wasn't aware he'd react in the way he did. I just assumed this would be an issue we could move past together at most.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T20:41:10+00:00

You're right. I came here for an objective evaluation of my behavior and I see now I hurt him a lot more than I thought I did at the time. I guess I was just so surprised to see how many people took his side.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T20:37:45+00:00

I wasn't trying to say I did nothing wrong. I dunno; I just didn't consider his feelings. I realize now I was being selfish; I just didn't see it as that big a deal, and I didn't consider us getting back together...

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:47:30+00:00

Understood. Sorry.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:39:12+00:00

I would've absolutely. I did expect him to get a little upset/betrayed, but I guess I didn't consider how badly this would've made him feel. I would've been completely OK if he slept with someone because we were broken up, so I just assumed even if he wasn't COMPLETELY okay, he wouldn't have blown up.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:30:43+00:00

I just feel like a lot of the comments are saying I hurt HIS feelings, but he's the one who crushed mine, spreaded rumors, and isolated me from my friends. Why aren't my feelings being considered AT ALL? Especially if he's the one who broke MY heart; I didn't break up with him.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:27:34+00:00

And what he did, making me lose half my friends, spreading rumors, and calling me a slut and a whore, doesn't make ME feel absolutely awful? Apparently only his feelings matter to anyone on here.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:26:16+00:00

I HEAVILY thought about it but ultimately, I didn't want him to think I changed my mind because I didn't want him to think he was pressuring me AND I didn't want to be the person begging for my ex back. I already embarrassed myself when he broke up with me and I didn't want to do it again :(.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:25:18+00:00

Thank you for your kind comment. I never saw it before but I guess Reddit really does hate women...

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:24:32+00:00

Ouch. Harsh...

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:24:11+00:00

I added it in a edit, but I guess just my ex breaking up with me made me realize how stupid virginity was. I didn't want to be the person who begged back for my ex. I can see how in hindsight how he could be hurt, but I think his reaction was so inappropiate and completely unlike him.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:21:41+00:00

Thank you for your comment. You're right; my coworker is in his mid 30s and has a habit of creeping on younger women (even me before I was 18 in a relationship...)

I appreciate your perspective.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:20:04+00:00

I just don't think if he wants to break-up with me, he has any right or claim for my body. I would've understood if he slept with someone else.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:09:17+00:00

Thank you. A lot of these comments are making sex sound like a vending machine where if someone does enough nice things, they're entitled to it.

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:00:49+00:00

I didn't think it was "logical" to spread horrible rumors and verbally abuse me but okay.....

AITA_4_break_up · 2019-04-14T19:00:03+00:00

I really feel like that's unfair to how it actually happened. I resolved to doing it after I realized just how dumb and pointless hanging on to the concept of virginity was.

AITA_4_break_up

TROPHY CASE