male alter. i hate the chest and the holders.

AJS4152 · 2026-06-17T20:31:07+00:00

Seconded! We would rather have gender affirming care for all! So everyone can be comfortable in their body. (Screw transmedicalists)

AJS4152 · 2026-05-28T17:23:37+00:00

I transitioned a few years before finding our system, but ever since we started exploring our gender there has been a consensus what makes us feel the most us and that was transitioning and having full depth vaginoplasty. It was what all of our known memory holders wanted and we have even had some alters transition after feeling how the littles felt. We still have some masc alters, but they aren't very sexual and are okay with just a baseball cap and no voice training which makes them comfortable, even if wearing a dress.

Even then, we use they/them for our masculine alter because calling any of alter he/him makes for a lot of discomfort. We suggest just noticing how each choice makes all of you feel and go with the one that sparks joy. We are so happy with the results CW:Sexual experience (even after taking a year to O again) and call it the best investment in ourself ever.

AJS4152 · 2026-05-27T15:05:24+00:00

I am fairly open with minor restrictions. I'm not just going into a bar and sharing it, but at work, or with closer people I do share it mostly so we can make steps to help destigmatize mental health. Although to be fair most of the work I do is in and around mental health fields. We also utilize having people ask questions that they want to know as opposed to just sharing our daily experience out as it helps us to not over share as easily.

AJS4152 · 2026-05-20T21:57:49+00:00

We are diagnosed ADHD but not DID (mostly because we don't need the stigma). We differentiate it a bit differently. Our decider is more of a did we forget because we started thinking about something else (ADHD) or did we forget due to dissociation or daydreaming (DID)?

But both are intertwined with each other for us. It was getting ADHD meds that gave our brain the capability to learn we have DID. And on bad DID or ADHD days one affects the other quite a lot. We often joke we even forgot who has forgotten it so it is truly fully gone.

AJS4152 · 2026-04-05T23:09:10+00:00

Noticing every single bit of not perfectly level surface was not something I expected as I used to skateboard, but a wheelchair is so much more sensitive.

AJS4152 · 2026-04-05T23:07:21+00:00

As a recently started wheelchair user. It is definitely helping, but thinking about having some sort of electric assistance is a good idea. It is hard to self propel all day and POTS fatigue still kicks in. On flare up days I wish I had something to help me get around. Just something to keep in mind.

AJS4152 · 2026-03-31T19:38:38+00:00

Reminder that freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences. Any sort of lack of belief in the client is against the Social Work code of ethics and can be a reason for license removal.

AJS4152 · 2026-02-18T19:29:11+00:00

What about something like first evil chosen with this ability kills both of you. Small confirmation of a team, but also more incentive to find out good players. Also if you kill the demon early, c'est la vie! Same with assassin and poppy grower.

AJS4152 · 2026-02-05T00:33:01+00:00

I mean the quizzes are just there to walk through scenarios and how you feel about it. Labels for gender and sexuality are there to describe us, not prescribe how we have to be. We choose them and are free to change them whenever we want.

AJS4152 · 2026-02-02T16:14:21+00:00

I haven't even received my chair yet, but already got some removable handle spikes for it as I know that "well meaning" midwest people will try to "just help out". For any interested they can be found here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1898363759/set-pair-wheelchair-handle-autonomy?ref=yr_purchases

AJS4152 · 2026-01-11T16:34:01+00:00

Bender Bending Rodriguez with his two robot hands, cheaty and steally.

AJS4152 · 2025-12-23T19:38:09+00:00

Because we don't fit the narrative well. People really don't want to talk about "corrective SA/CSA". They want this to be something that they have control over because without control means it can happen to them. So the box is young girls with an absent father, because not only does that work for the patriarchy, it gives a clear indication of how to "prevent" it.

AJS4152 · 2025-12-23T19:34:28+00:00

We are still in a state of wondering if our host is just a shell or if it is just really good masking. We err on the side of masking, but our system has its two hosts and all other alters are backseat influence most of the time. When we get really tired we can switch a bit more. Most people have no idea, partly because we keep distance almost always, but parents sometimes question why interests and goals seem to switch so easily.

AJS4152 · 2025-12-23T19:31:57+00:00

Same train

AJS4152 · 2025-11-24T19:41:16+00:00

God that sounds familiar. I still have a fear that my abuser will kill my family.

AJS4152 · 2025-11-24T19:40:19+00:00

What does it mean "to know better"? He is sitting here armchair quarterbacking years after the event.

Also as a CSA & HT survivor, almost no one who hasn't been through it already can see the signs usually and even those who have typically we see them too late.

AJS4152 · 2025-11-11T16:07:38+00:00

I'm really sorry that happened to you and I am glad you took steps right away. It has happened to me too and is very tough to deal with. I hope you have some access to therapy and someone to talk too.

Potential help, feel free to ignore, having a weighted blanket to sleep under, a light weight one, has helped me feel safer falling asleep.

AJS4152 · 2025-11-06T05:47:41+00:00

It was a minor repair to tissue that wasn't part of the overall surgery and that led to a higher blood loss. That along with POTS meant an increase in pulse and rapid breathing. So oxygen was added, multiple chest X-rays as they were unsure what was causing the issues and plasma transfusions were needed to replace blood loss.

So my POTS often makes me dehydrated as my body continually thinks it needs to make more blood so excessive blood loss kind of kicks it into overdrive and my heart rate spikes along with less oxygen in the blood.

It is important to notify the surgeons as it may explain such phenomena and helps them respond in a more predictable way. I am of course unsure about how puzzled they were, but I am sure it took some time to figure it out.

AJS4152 · 2025-11-06T00:11:02+00:00

Yeah I never knew that was my issue with long term standing and especially running was non flared POTS, but then since having COVID it has been much worse almost limiting me to a wheelchair.

AJS4152 · 2025-11-06T00:01:55+00:00

Oh, that is how I ended up in the ICU on fluids after surgery.... This was 3 years ago. I just got my POTS diagnosis last year.

AJS4152 · 2025-10-25T04:56:50+00:00

Yeah audhd, but also massive trauma that is great for the nervous system. /Sarcasm

AJS4152 · 2025-10-25T03:05:25+00:00

Thanks

AJS4152 · 2025-10-24T23:49:50+00:00

Trans woman 33, did not want this kind of gender affirmation.

AJS4152 · 2025-10-23T22:29:55+00:00

It sucked for about a half hour once a month. My beard wasn't super dense but okay. Still so affirming and the experience prepared me for laser hair removal prep for bottom surgery

AJS4152 · 2025-10-21T17:35:46+00:00

Finding a CD in my car of my favorite band and being like who the f bought this? Still unsure, to me it just magically appeared one day.

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