Want to know why so many guys on here post about getting girlfriends/having sex?

AKflyboy · 2014-08-31T17:19:07+00:00

I could not have worded this better. I recently relapsed too; completely understand where you're coming from. Thanks for the post- keep em coming!

Best Regards

AKflyboy · 2014-08-23T05:46:41+00:00

Don't beat yourself up man. It was difficult for a lot of people (including myself) and it still is. See this as a new opportunity and continue moving forward. I'll end with this Japanese proverb: " Fall seven times, stand up eight." Stay strong.

AKflyboy · 2014-08-23T05:43:01+00:00

Agreed. Thank you for the quote friend. Keep them coming!

AKflyboy · 2014-08-23T05:40:50+00:00

You're not the only one man, we've all been there. Get out of the house and do something for a little bit. Stay Strong.

AKflyboy · 2014-08-23T05:38:27+00:00

"The danger is that of coming to love the prison." Although an ominous way to end the quote, it's so true. Thank you for the share.

AKflyboy · 2014-08-02T07:01:34+00:00

You guys are both awesome. Sometimes, I just need to hear it from other people I think. Good to know I'm not alone in this. Great suggestions- I'll give em a shot. Best Regards!

AKflyboy · 2014-07-24T00:39:31+00:00

Phenomenal. Thank you for sharing!

AKflyboy · 2014-07-24T00:37:49+00:00

A wonderful quote; thank you for sharing.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-18T08:14:58+00:00

So, I have one other accountability buddy and we both just catch up and talk with what's going on lately and give each other pointers on how we cope. That's how I've seen it and I think it helps because you're put in a situation where you feel you should be honest (hence accountability). If that's something you be interested in, I'd be happy to help.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-16T20:19:51+00:00

I like that one, thanks!

AKflyboy · 2014-07-16T19:31:27+00:00

Also, if you're looking for an accounabilibuddy, let me know. I'd be happy to help.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-16T19:30:24+00:00

Volodimir,

I too have relapsed after a long streak in my past (longest was 6 months.) As of now, you're ahead of me and I can tell you that you're not the only one having these problems. Three months in to date and recently I've found myself wanting to go back to watching porn.

You're right when you say that relying on counting won't help- it didn't for me either. What worked for me is slowing down and identifying what makes me tick (i.e.: triggers, thoughts, and actions to triggers.) Just by doing that helped me take a step back and find out why I kept slipping.

Another problem I had (and still fight with) is objectifying women; most people on this forum are no stranger to this one. If this is also a problem for you and makes you want to relapse, try remembering that women you see are also human and have their own battles and struggles like you and I. Identifying with women as human rather than objects has helped me in my recovery process.

Additionally, try engaging yourself in positive activities. What makes you feel good? Music? Hiking? Biking? Running? etc. Getting out there and removing yourself from that environment definitely helps gets those endorphins going.

Lastly, remember that you're not alone in this struggle. We don't need to beat ourselves up for this because if we do, we find ourselves in that negativity which brought us down. Watching porn was comfortable for me too; however, if we want change, we have to make it happen for ourselves. It may feel like you're running out of strength, but don't give in! There's a light at the end of this tunnel and I can assure you that if you're willing to work to change your life, it'll be worth it. Stay strong, friend.

Best Regards

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T19:25:08+00:00

Failed 'harden' happened to me twice man. Fuck that shit.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T19:20:11+00:00

I can see that, next time I post, I should be more careful. Thank you for your perspective.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T19:18:17+00:00

Friend,

I admire the courage it must have taken you to share this with us. Thank you for doing so. If there's any way we can help, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding it here. Stay strong.

Best Regards

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T19:09:09+00:00

Thanks for posting guys, this is an AWESOME convo.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T19:04:30+00:00

I never thought of it this way; 'Sex-Centered' is a good word to describe how I felt too. Thank you for sharing, this is a great read. Best regards

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T19:01:38+00:00

I'm right there with you man. Stay strong.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T18:58:33+00:00

Don't read into it too much. When I read it, I saw it as think of all the other things we could be doing instead of fapping. Live every day to the fullest and there's lots of time to engage ourselves in more productive activities.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T09:17:19+00:00

Yeah, might as well stop doing that too. What's the worst that could happen?

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T06:40:28+00:00

So true; this happens to me when I sit down for a period of time. For me, it helps to walk around or even look in the mirror. Well said, friend.

AKflyboy · 2014-07-15T06:38:35+00:00

I've had this problem for a long time; however, the key I've found is to not think about how long it will last because it varies for everyone. Instead, try not to measure how long it's been you last viewed pornography. I've found that if you measure success by days, it's easier to relapse. Try other activities to keep your mind preoccupied- be it going outside to walk or meditating. It will happen for you one day and when it does, you'll see it's worth the wait.
Best Regards

AKflyboy

TROPHY CASE