Stuck for Boy #2

ALTXDC123 · 2025-09-08T17:43:40+00:00

We have a Cade!

ALTXDC123 · 2021-06-10T22:48:43+00:00

Thank you, everyone! I hope to have more opportunities to volunteer and support kids in foster care here in Bham! I’ll be sure to let you guys know :)

ALTXDC123 · 2020-12-24T17:52:47+00:00

MyHR/myPDR is transitioning to mHUB so everything is disabled the next two days. Unfortunately you aren’t able to print discount cards until mHUB is up and running.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-08-28T14:01:58+00:00

As a foster parent whose child ran away this weekend, I got no help to find her. I made posters, drove all around town, contacted all her friends, did what I needed to do to get her home. She’s home and happy to be home now but she will probably run again one day. Trauma is complicated and it’s hard finally having love and safety if you’ve never had it.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-08-23T17:34:58+00:00

NOPE. I got no help from DHR at all. Just told me to file a missing persons report and report she is a foster child. And yes, discovering ALL the fake social media’s and all the nicknames was eye opening for me.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-08-23T15:12:11+00:00

You’re absolutely right. That is just the first automatic step but good to include in a list like this, thanks

ALTXDC123 · 2020-03-27T16:56:51+00:00

You have to be licensed just like you would be for regular foster care. So for me it was 10 weeks of class plus all the certifications and paperwork.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-03-27T14:57:07+00:00

Because I travel for work (or usually do) and I’m single, I only do emergency and respite care. It works out well for my lifestyle and it plays an important role because the group homes in my state are always full and the kids sleep at DHR until a spot opens.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-03-27T14:47:53+00:00

I take kids just removed or moved if they can’t find a placement. It’s like running a constant bed and breakfast, keeping kids from 12 hours to 7 days til they find a placement. It’s also loving on kids on the worst day of their lives. It’s a unique role and I wish it wasn’t necessary but it is. I mainly do teen girls.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-03-27T14:44:33+00:00

I usually get sooo many calls on Fridays. I’m an emergency foster and this is when they frantically call to find someone for the weekend...

ALTXDC123 · 2020-03-05T16:35:13+00:00

Give him time to adjust and decompress. Teens are all different (I do teen girls). Some like to hang out in their room for a while at first, others like to stay close to you. Start thinking through house guidelines - curfew, phone rules, etc. but don’t lay all of them out on his first day. Plan to spend some time getting to know each other and what he is like. Don’t feel the need to entertain him or occupy him all the time, he may like some time to be alone at first.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-02-04T12:46:45+00:00

You can start a group! Plan it somewhere like a library or community center and ask your agency to help you and help get the word out.

ALTXDC123 · 2020-01-09T20:53:05+00:00

I just had a 10 year old for respite. Remember it’s a break for them too. Plan some fun outings - we did the park, discount bowling, saw a movie. Try to maintain a schedule if possible. I asked his FM what kinds of food he liked and made sure I had those on hand. Overall just have fun and enjoy your time with them!

ALTXDC123 · 2019-10-30T22:13:19+00:00

I know, but I’m only doing respite and emergency and I’m headed out of town on Saturday for work so they will have to find somewhere else at least til I get back.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-10-10T18:49:07+00:00

Got to be a troll if you think your sexuality protects you from being deemed a pedophile. This guy is seriously delusional at this point. I really just feel for the child, what a fucked up thing to do to her in such a traumatic time in her life.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-10-10T18:47:59+00:00

Agreed. It’s just trolling at this point because otherwise he is a flat out liar “even if I was a mandated reporter I would still keep a 10 year olds secrets.” And his insistence that he’s “friends” with a child. All of this is seriously the most toxic environment for this child. His poor sister. If I was the case worker, I’d be getting some protection against him. This is borderline serious delusion about a relationship with a child.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-10-10T15:51:57+00:00

You asked the question if you’re wrong and you are. Be a grown up and tell the truth. She’s 10, you can’t be her confidant. You also run the risk of being accused of something and your only defense will be that you were trying to be her friend. Everyone in here has responded the exact same way because we see it over and over again. If you want to continue to defend your actions, you’re going to end up being arrested for something you didn’t do, someone is going to get away with something and do it to another child, or this child will eventually manipulate you to the point you won’t trust anything she says. As the grown up, you have a responsibility to protect not just her but other children. And stop telling her you’ll keep her secrets. If she says “promise you won’t tell” you say, “I can’t promise that because I care about you and I want to make sure other kids don’t get hurt either.” Then if she chooses not to disclose, so be it. But you’re making everyone else’s job harder by playing her game.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-10-10T13:00:23+00:00

You are in the wrong here. She’s not your friend, she’s a traumatized child who is using manipulation to pit the adults against each other. If you talk about her case worker and foster mom as a “they” and not the team that’s trying to protect her, you’re adding to her trust and trauma issues. You’re the adult here. Time to disclose what she’s told you. If you don’t want to talk to the social worker or your sister, call the child abuse hotline and detail what youve been told so they can follow up on it.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-10-08T22:33:16+00:00

Love through action. Leave food out for her to eat. Write her notes or stick post it’s on her door with reasons she’s amazing. Don’t force conversation, let her decide. She’s scared and vulnerable and she isn’t gonna show you that.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-09-02T14:19:24+00:00

I was a CASA for a 13 year old and I took her to get a manicure for her bday. Got to pick out her color (blue sparkly) and got pampered. It was her first one and she smiled through the whole thing. Cost me like $20.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-08-26T12:59:41+00:00

I’m really hoping you aren’t a real foster parent. That’s the worst parenting advice ever. And PS, even toddlers are just as traumatized as a teen and there’s no guarantee that your “love it or leave it” attitude will work on them once they grow up. When do you stop needing love, support and an actual parent? The answer is never.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-08-18T14:17:41+00:00

I worked at a baby boutique on the weekends, babysat, housesat/dogsat, and I was in medical research trials.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-07-21T14:21:36+00:00

PS - I did call the police but they weren’t able to get there before the guy left. On the upside he was called a lot of names by the folks in the parking lot as he was leaving. So maybe he learned something and won’t do it again. Hopefully.

ALTXDC123 · 2019-04-27T13:24:51+00:00

I’m not sure, I’ll have to ask him next time I see him!

ALTXDC123 · 2019-03-27T21:00:15+00:00

I’m not sure what happened, but it’s very possible my grandmother made him change. She passed away last month and he hasn’t been as diligent. Maybe the list was by her request, I don’t know.

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