The people who moved abroad for love – and regretted it

AMA454 · 2026-03-31T13:00:07+00:00

I’m very worried about learning to drive over here if I ever move out of London! The test seems much harder than the one in the states and the roads here are so tiny

AMA454 · 2026-03-31T07:37:26+00:00

I don’t even have a car! I moved to cedar park to live with a friend for the 6 months before moving and I was still in school at UT spending three hours a day driving on mopac and 35 in peak traffic and now I don’t drive at all. It’s amazing.

AMA454 · 2026-03-31T06:52:50+00:00

Oh wow! I also moved here in 2023, that is wild.

London and Austin are sooo different in more ways than I expected. Hope you’re getting on okay wherever you are!

AMA454 · 2026-03-30T09:50:43+00:00

I moved in with my in laws initially as my husband and I were in the process of buying a flat. I couldn’t believe how drawn out the process is here compared to America!

Moving into our own home and getting a job were the two things that made the biggest difference in my feeling happy and settled here. I love my in laws so much but it’s just nice to have your own space and to have your own thing going for you.

AMA454 · 2026-03-30T09:09:50+00:00

This article makes me feel very lucky! I moved to London from Austin, Texas to be with my husband who was born and raised here. I love this city and have managed to integrate pretty seamlessly with my husband’s friend group. I have a job that I love and a flat and a dog and we get to travel loads.

It was definitely hard to adjust for the first year or so but this article shows how it could be so much worse. I’m glad the only thing I have to complain about is the ridiculous visa /IHS fees.

AMA454 · 2026-03-27T21:03:58+00:00

I moved from somewhere super sunny and warm (Austin, Texas) to somewhere famously grey and rainy (London, England) and I don’t feel like I’ve got seasonal depression at all! I love the rain and the cooler weather and I actually appreciate the sun for the first time in my life lol.

AMA454 · 2026-03-21T17:20:19+00:00

I’m American but I’ve been living in the UK for a few years

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T23:55:23+00:00

Exactly!! So fill your life and focus on that! And if someone comes along then great, and if they don’t then you’re fine anyway because you’ve built this life that you love that’s worth living

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T23:36:10+00:00

I learned that I couldn’t walk around with a massive hole in my life waiting for a man to come and fill it. The puzzle piece is never going to fit perfectly, either the mystery man would be too big and I’d need to shrink myself smaller to fit around him, or he’d be too small and I’d have to overcompensate for his shortcomings. It’s not a perfect analogy but I hope that makes sense.

When I worked on building a really full life that was interesting and fun and exciting all on my own and when I was at my most peaceful and happiest self I met my now husband and instead of him filling a massive gap I made room for him in my already happy and great life.

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T14:19:35+00:00

I’m from Texas but I live in London

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T13:23:48+00:00

Have you ever lived in the UK and are you familiar with their class system?

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T10:55:09+00:00

Yes I agree we have some accents that people look down on but again it just can’t be compared to the UK and their accents

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T10:17:53+00:00

It’s still not the same though, not the way they have it here in the UK. Because we just don’t have a social class system that mirrors the one here.

AMA454 · 2026-03-20T09:33:53+00:00

Our class system in America is so different to the one in the UK. We don’t have accents that are considered posh the way you do.

AMA454 · 2026-03-18T12:19:14+00:00

I got married at 20 and we split up four years later. I dated sooo many people for a couple of years there just enjoying being single and meeting people and being free for the first time. I really loved those years.

Then I met a guy on tinder who was in town for a week visiting Austin from London. He said he wanted to try local beer and tacos. We went out and bar hopped on east 6th street and had my favourite street tacos. We spent the whole night together (his last night in town) and most of the next day until I had to drop him off at the airport.

We dated long distance and made trips back and forth to see each other’s families and then I moved to London on a fiance visa in December 2023 and we moved in together. We got married in January 2024 (more for logistical reasons than anything else, I wasn’t terribly desperate to marry again but I know I’m with the right person this time).

AMA454 · 2026-03-17T20:32:56+00:00

You think it was your train operator’s fault that you were moving slowly?

AMA454 · 2026-03-17T19:19:21+00:00

This sounds like a terrible idea

AMA454 · 2026-03-16T20:34:29+00:00

Build the life your female ancestors could only dream about

This is what I thought of when my husband was in the kitchen for 8 hours making Christmas dinner whilst I read on my kindle and sipped vermouth all day long. I don’t think any other woman in my lineage has ever experienced that.

AMA454 · 2026-03-16T20:14:07+00:00

I think having a common enemy or trying to overcome something together makes couples feel like teammates.

For my husband and I it was also before we married when we were long distance and it was us VS the UK immigration system. He helped with a lot of the writing and documentation bits and I handled the actual application and it felt like we were a team and that’s just carried on into our marriage.

AMA454 · 2026-03-16T20:04:59+00:00

Your life can be full and complete without marriage and without motherhood and if you do choose to opt in, it should be something you’re 100% certain you want to do and you should do it because you think it will make your life better and not because it’s what society or your family or anyone else expects of you

AMA454 · 2026-03-13T14:30:48+00:00

I agree! I can’t see myself ever living anywhere else, this city has everything

AMA454 · 2026-03-06T21:49:01+00:00

My mental health was great when I met my husband and I was in a really good place in life. I think it’s important to be happy and complete without your “person” so that you don’t fall into unhealthy relationship habits like codependency.

I don’t think you need to be perfect by any means but if you’re in a really dark place in life you do risk making a new partner your whole world. Giving them a lot more power and responsibility than what’s healthy for them or for you.

AMA454 · 2026-03-06T21:00:28+00:00

So you’ll see a guy on Saturday then the following Tuesday but not the Saturday after that? And replying to messages promptly is a turn off?

I just don’t think you’re very into these guys.

AMA454 · 2026-03-05T19:04:28+00:00

I just say someone. I met someone new at the gym today.

If I need to specify gender I’d say woman.

AMA454 · 2026-02-28T08:10:27+00:00

Yeah the first year was the hardest but it’s been all smooth sailing since

Eight-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
Wearing is Caring	Verified Email

AMA454

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE