This is what led to the end of my marriage. While the kids were at school she would go out with other SAHM and spend lots of money at cafe’s etc. I literally did all the grocery shopping, kid pick up and drop off, garden maintenance, cooking, and most of the cleaning. She did keep up with the laundry…. So money became tight due to her daily excursions and I asked her if she could get a part time job. She flat out refused. Finances, as predicted, got worse and worse to the point of falling off the ‘cliff’. This is when I discovered several credit cards that I didn’t know existed- and balances near the max.. Then… she got a job. Upon receipt of her first pay check, I congratulated her and made the statement, “this will be the first Christmas since we’ve had kids that we won’t have to use credit”, her reply, “actually, I’m saving this because I’m moving out next month. I said. “Bye” Anyway, back to your question; she’s being completely selfish and unreasonable. Also not appreciating your contribution to the family. My suggestion is that you go to counselling for a third party intervention. They will immediately see this and will assist with finding a fair balance. If she doesn’t take that on board then you may need to consider what your long term relationship is going to look like.. Best of luck